Changing the bed linen in between guests staying over

[userloadsofnumbers]

I am going to try and write this as factually as possible. We have a lot of people staying over for various reasons. Partner A thinks the bed linen needs to be washed in between every guest, even if they've just slept in the bed for one night/a few hours. Partner B thinks that is unnecessary and doesn't have to be done every time.

Partner A also feels the house should be generally tidied before guests come over - stuff put away, surfaces wiped, plates/cups etc in the dishwasher instead of piled high next to the sink. Again, Partner B disagrees.

Partner A thinks 99% of people think like they do. Partner B says their parents and sister agree with them so Partner A is the weird one and has issues surrounding guests visiting.

So - who is being unreasonable?

Poll: YANBU - if you agree with Partner A
YABU - if you agree with Partner B

Not change the bedding between guests? Ugh! Of course you do, and wash it all. House to be tidy. Very unwelcoming if dishes piled up etc. Looks as if no care has been taken to welcome guests. My late DH was very hot on this one and he was entirely correct! I shouldn't want to come to stay with B. I don't know if the sheets are clean! (NB have met people like B - don't stay with them!)

Men will not mind.
Kids will not mind.
Women might, but just ask them?
Might be surprised.

The thing that stood out for me is that he said his DM and DSis agree too!

So your visitors, friends or family, are not worth your time preparing for? I think I'd feel insulted by that attitude. My friend thinks so little of me they don't give me clean sheets for the bed.

Oh so it’s not that person B your dh doesn’t think it needs doing, it’s he doesn’t want to do it. Now I understand. Lazy git.

So ask them. I guarantee they don’t care quite as much as you think they care.

If you’re busy or it’s a difficult time or they’ve just dropped by, the fact you are there is enough. And if you have endless time and resources and what other people think is hugely important to you, go for your life, plump up those cushions, fold the bedspread.

But ask them and you’ll be surprised how little it matters to real friends and actual family.

I stopped staying at peoples houses who didn’t change the sheets after a previous guest. Last time we asked for new new sheets and did them our seul ces. Always help out but striping it offering to remake the bed.

That's shocking not to change sheets or tidy up, imagining going to a hotel and they hadn't changed the sheets from previous occupants of your room. I'm not tidiest of people but when I have guests make sure everywhere tidy and clean We have a dog and I make sure I have separate bedding for guests even so no dog hairs

....I'm sorry to inform you that my nephew and his wife conceived their son in our guestroom....l 🤣

My DH is probably more like Partner A than I am, which is actually one of the traits I really like about him—I don’t ever feel like I’m married to a frat boy. 😂

@userloadsofnumbers I always do a crazy spring clean if anyone is coming to stay for the night! they usually have an ensuite in their room so it is also shower drains being removed and scrubbed! usually exhausted by the time a guest arrives.

*So ask them. I guarantee they don’t care quite as much as you think they care.

If you’re busy or it’s a difficult time or they’ve just dropped by, the fact you are there is enough. And if you have endless time and resources and what other people think is hugely important to you, go for your life, plump up those cushions, fold the bedspread.

But ask them and you’ll be surprised how little it matters to real friends and actual family.*

Agree with this

Thinking about it, for guests like work friends, maybe providing clean sheets and letting them put it on themselves might be an option? Less work, more hygiene.

How would you feel if the sheets on the bed in your hotel room had not been changed? 🤮Enough said!

I don't change the bedlinen but only because it's the same person staying! If I had to put up someone in an emergency, I'd offer them fresh sheets and let them choose.

You have made me realise that I'll need to mentally check when to wash the sheets on that bed!

I know that, because I have been told not to bother - but that does not mean I should not change the sheets. Sometimes I just let them change the sheets. And I have lots to do, thanks, and I don't like housework but I do like a tidy house and you put yourself out for people, surely?

Entirely your choice. I’m just saying it doesn’t matter as much as “polite society” suggests it does. We’re also all far too concerned about “what other people think”. You go for it. But if you hate housework and you’re really busy, it’s an easy non-controversial decision, in my humble view. Good luck!

Partner A allll the way! Partner B needs to read up on literature about the spread of diseases and pathogens like ringworm!! Would Partner B be happy staying in a hotel room where the sheets hadn't been changed since the last guests?

Tbh a bit shocked by this… sleeping on someone else sheets is grim

I’m just saying it doesn’t matter as much as “polite society” suggests it does. We’re also all far too concerned about “what other people think”.

I don't care about what other people think. I am more a "do as you would be done by" person - and if I go away, I want clean sheets, so I offer them here, too. I don't mind being asked to bring bedding, though - I did that last time I stayed overnight at a friend's.

Clearly people prefer clean sheets. I’d provide clean sheets. But, jeez, is it really that important to spend 10 pages wanging on about it?! For some people, I’d seems to be some sort of crucial point of honour. I really couldn’t bring myself to care that much. It isn’t a hotel (so why do people keep bringing that up as if it’s a clever ‘gotcha’?). In a hotel, you’ve no idea what kind of manky stranger has been in the bed nor what kind of shenanigans they’ve got up to. If my niece stays in a bed her own grandma or whatever has just vacated, it’s a bit different!

Yes same here

Partner A - no even debatable

So partner B would be happy if he had a hotel room and the sheets not changed from the last guest, even if it was for a night? Urgh. Scruffy get.

Partner b is a complete skank.