Why don't women with kids force the dads to have them 50% of time?

[DontCheetoTheCheetah]

Disclaimer: I dont have kids and dont want them so prepared to accept my POV might be odd but...

...Just read a thread where a woman was talking about disputing maintenance costs with her ex and mentioned he never has his kids overnight, adding that its his choice.

Why wouldn't you just force them to have their kids? Im think if I were a mum I'd quite like to have half my time to just chill and have some downtime without my children? Or is it that when you have kids you cant bear to be wthout them?

You clearly haven't reached the stage in your life yet where you realise you can't make people do things 😂

Can I borrow your magic wand?

You are getting flamed here OP, but IKWYM. Don't want to generalise, there are some awful mothers, but we rarely hear the phrase 'unfit father' or consider men not spending adequate time with their offspring to be child neglect.

I think it is child neglect. Yet so many men get away with it, apparently without much damage to their character or reputation.

Not many women would want their kids spending days on end with some miserable resentful father though, and they'd feel too guilty about making them unhappy.

Responsible fatherhood has a depressingly low bar.

It is a lovely idea.

It's not that it wouldn't be great.

It's that it wouldn't work and children would suffer.

My Kids went through a stage when they were desperate for thier Dad to spend time with them, both before and after we split, in fact it was one of the reasons we did.

I couldnt make him when we were married, and I damn sure cant make him now we are divorced. Its his loss, but he is a fucktard.

Theoretically the same way men force women to have their kids most of the time.

Hand them over and walk away.

It's utterly inconceivable isn't it?

“Or is it that when you have kids you cant bear to be without them?”

😂

How exactly do plan on enforcing this OP?

You can't force something like that and if dads are not prepared to do 50/50 for whatever reason, it would not be a happy state of affairs for the children.

As a woman without children I can clarify that I'm still capable of intelligent thought, empathy, kindness and understanding the importance of a loving home for a child. I can also see the flaws in the bizarre suggestion of attempting to dump some poor kids on a neglectful, disinterested parent.

I suspect the OP is the rarity, not me.

We do 70/30. I'd rather know my child is here with me not being stuffed full of sweets and left watching tv all night and day.

1. How? You can't make an irresponsible/ uncaring arse into something they're not.
2. It wouldn't be fair to children to be around someone who didn't want them.there. I grew up with a parent who never wanted kids. Fucking awful existence

A lot of the time 50/50 doesn't work for the kids even where both parents are committed to getting it right for the kids. Distance to school/ hobbies/ friends all have an affect, not everyone can have two equal homes, very close together for.the sake of the children being able to live smoothly

I wonder if you know anyone in this position? My friends exDH "likes to go out on Fridays, to see his mates!" Another has their Teenager over and lets him smoke!.Another will have them if she doesnt mind driving them 160 miles each way!Obv they are all pretty disinterested !

That old chestnut..

Exactly this.

Everyone incredulous at the OP, when in reality men do this to mothers all the time.

And just as an example of life in these homes. My children didn't ask where there dad was for just over two weeks when he initially left. Two weeks of thinking nothing was different. We are not talking about involved parents here.

I wouldn't want my husband to have 50/50 if we divorced (which I wish we could) but he would want it. Yeah, I don't want to be away from my kids. EOW sounds like plenty time without them to me.

How? My DS's excuse for a father abandoned us and only saw him once (at my home). He never paid CM either. If the government couldn't or wouldn't make him pay CM what chance did I have forcing him to even see his son let alone have him 50% percent of the time?

It's all so easy when you are not in the position isn't it?

Not an old chestnut. I was in court with him when he fought for his children and she fought for him to have one day a week. He was representing himself, she had an expensive barrister.

Not an old chestnut. I was in court with him when he fought for his children and she fought for him to have one day a week. He was representing himself, she had an expensive barrister.

its just not believable @Username947531 The legal standpoint is 50/50 unless there are extenuating circumstances such as (older) children not wanting to or some form of neglect. What was the court’s reason for granting him one day a week?

An expensive barrister doesn’t have much to do with it in this instance

Sadly a lot of men tell this lie…..

Have you met men? 😆

I agree with you but imagine if it was made a crime, you would get dads who don't want their kids being forced to spend time with them and the kids would be traumatized.

The laws protect the children's rights to spend time with their parents but it can't force people who don't want to parent to do it. All it can do is force them to pay maintenance.

I've heard it all now.

Sorry you’re getting such bitchy replies on this thread.

Only on MN can someone saying how unfair it is that men get away with being deadbeat parents, be a reason to be piled on by women saying they’re stupid and all of the other insults posters have thrown at you.