Bringing a SEN child to an expensive holiday

[sandygrapes]

That is known for being good with children and families. It's not an adult only or 'popular with adults only'

H thinks we can't go there with him because people pay too much £££ to be disturbed like that

Thing is, he is non verbal and noisy, that's true. He shouts and makes loud stimming noises when both happy and upset/frustrated

But, I have noticed sadly that even though he is loud and obviously incredibly unusual in his behaviours for the average passer by, I often see I act 10 times more respectfully and cautiously than those of other DC, who don't obviously have his care needs and are just being DC. They're often allowed to do stuff I just wouldn't allow in public like running about and getting in peoples way without apology

His favourite thing is food and water/swimming! He would love it

We usually go away in cheaper places and have been surprised that we keep finding AI's with little to NO English people and found the Spanish/Greeks and Turks incredibly accepting and just very 'live and let live'. You get a feel they aren't always looking or shocked. That type of thing which is quite common back home in the UK

AIBU to think we should take him despite all the noise?

Definitely take him! He has as much right to a good holiday as any other child!

Sorry, forgot to add - The place I am thinking of IS, as far as I know, very popular with English families

It's in Greece

Again I hate to bring stereotypes in, but I find the English (I am English) quite different to say Spanish people - My mum is from Andalusia and people are just more... chilled about kids and loud noise as a whole?

You have as much right to be there as everyone else. Unless it is a designated 'quiet' hotel whivh I very much doubt then crack on and enjoy yourselves.

If he'll enjoy it, and you'll enjoy it, then of course! Go for it.

If it will just be a stressful experience for you then don't, but anywhere that markets themselves at families with children should be more than suitable.

He has as much right to an expensive holiday as the next person. End of. If you can afford it you go and other people be damned. He will no doubt be less intrusive that a group of drunken hen/stag parties would be!

this would disturb my peaceful holiday plans BUT Anyone who would be bothered by this should go to an adults only hotel. Which is what I would do. So it’s fine!

Yes if self catering, possibly not if a hotel as it sounds like your husband wouldn't be comfortable.

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at this OP.

TBH I think in any family-orientated hotel people would be quite relaxed.

Go and enjoy your holiday!

My son is autistic so it wouldn't bother me (although he's verbal and doesn't vocally stim), but I have a friend who has a son who is quite loud and I know she's very conscious of disturbing people in other rooms who are trying to sleep etc - she's going to opt for a villa instead.

Definitely take him, don’t let other people’s attitudes or perceived attitudes get to you. He- and you- are just as entitled to go on a nice holiday as someone who doesn’t have SEN. Enjoy!

I'd be very, very careful of families who are wealthy. Their kids will be at schools where their experience of neuro diversity is likely to be autistic savant or mild dyslexia. They won't have the compassion and shrug shoulders "that's just Henry" approach that their state peers do.

Yes absolutely! I'm in a similar situation by the way as my daughter is also non verbal autistic. I'm taking her to Jersey and Tenerife this year, and can't wait!Our children have as much of a right and place in this world as everyone else.

I wouldn't if it is going to be stressful for you and or DH. You both deserve to be as least stressed as possible.

I'm on holiday with my largely non verbal autistic child at the moment. He loves the pool and beach and is swimming/paddling all day.
All inclusive is great because you can grab your child some food immediately- no waiting/ordering etc. and generally pretty relaxed.
I say go for it. I would choose somewhere with a couple of pools/a beach/ a couple of eating options so if your child gets frustrated/restless in one place you can try somewhere else.

I wouldn't know to be fair, my DC attends a special needs school and I don't have anywhere near private school cash

Amazing! Thank you

I'd like to believe that any decent human being will understand and generally they do (parent of an SEN child myself). Holiday resorts are full of noisy kids, much more so than your DC. Please don't worry and just have an amazing time! ✨️

I hope you decide to go and that you all have a wonderful holiday.

As a mum to a high needs disabled child I would be more than willing to sink my teeth into them if necessary. Money doesn't buy them the right to dictate what others do, not in the situation OP describes.

OP, we take our disabled son to Martinhal resorts and have never had an issue, which I'm relieved about but I would literally go to war for my son if necessary and don't feel intimidated by people that think they are better than me.

Please go.

Enjoy every minute. Your money is as good as your fellow travellers. Kids are noisy anyway and families will be too busy looking after their own and those without will be happy they don't have to run after kids!

Anyone with a problem, well so what.

I do agree though that Spanish, Turkish, Greek etc are much more tolerant.

Ikos? Take him. You'll all love it.

His logic makes no sense! So what he's saying is people who can't afford expensive holidays deserve to have their holidays disturbed?
Also I doubt he'd cause a massive disturbance, most people (I'd hope) would have compassion, I think kids disturbing you is usually secondary to the absolute rage you feel towards parents not managing their kids. So a new born baby or toddler tantrum is far more palatable when their parents are helping or doing their best, even with no success the noise is somehow more manageable. Similarly if a child has clear SEN its easier somehow for your brain to accept any disturbance, instead of a NT child screaming because their parents are knocking back poolside mojitos.

Totally agree with you regarding more Mediterranean attitudes to children and noise. I'm also from this kind of background and it is much more relaxed

Please go and enjoy it. Anyone that is bothered can move on.

If it’s IKOS or Sani or the like, I wouldn’t have any concerns. These resorts are big and there are lots of options for pool / beach etc. if someone doesn’t like the noise, they will have plenty of options to move to. Similarly, there will be lots of variety for you all to try different places / things. These resorts are set up for luxury holidays for families - with all that children and families bring.