Bringing a SEN child to an expensive holiday

[sandygrapes]

That is known for being good with children and families. It's not an adult only or 'popular with adults only'

H thinks we can't go there with him because people pay too much £££ to be disturbed like that

Thing is, he is non verbal and noisy, that's true. He shouts and makes loud stimming noises when both happy and upset/frustrated

But, I have noticed sadly that even though he is loud and obviously incredibly unusual in his behaviours for the average passer by, I often see I act 10 times more respectfully and cautiously than those of other DC, who don't obviously have his care needs and are just being DC. They're often allowed to do stuff I just wouldn't allow in public like running about and getting in peoples way without apology

His favourite thing is food and water/swimming! He would love it

We usually go away in cheaper places and have been surprised that we keep finding AI's with little to NO English people and found the Spanish/Greeks and Turks incredibly accepting and just very 'live and let live'. You get a feel they aren't always looking or shocked. That type of thing which is quite common back home in the UK

AIBU to think we should take him despite all the noise?

All child friendly resorts are noisy, that's why we avoid them now my kids are a bit older.

We went to the first Greek one when it first opened and had a mixed experience, we'd arrived a couple of days before half term and it was full of what looked like instagram influencers. So massive lips, huge tattooed eye brows and fake breasts on the women and tattooed overly muscly husbands. Everyone screeching at each other at the pool, changing nappies on chairs, babies with those ridiculous bows on etc.....
Then they all left and were replaced with normal people. It was very odd.

Anyway, it was noisy, kids ran around, there were disabled people. You'll have a nice time. Just maybe avoid the two days before May half term starts?

Why don't you suggest to the kind relative that instead of paying the high amount for Ikos - you go for a holiday village type (much more likely to be noisy and FULL of kids) and if it goes well, go twice! That would probably cost less than Ikos and your husband wouldn't be so on edge.

I have a friend who has a daughter who is loud and uncontrollable, as in she runs about in restaurants, she is also non verbal. My friend has had comments and dirty looks and although she's more than capable of fending them off, it's stressful every time they go to eat, so I think you have to be honest with yourself and think do I want the stress of being constantly on guard or go for a villa where you can all relax

Of course you should go!
If it helps, I know of someone who went to an Ikos and I think they got a 1:1 in the kids club for their SEN child. Might be worth a call to see if possible so you can have a few hours off.
Took our SEN kid on a Neilson holiday a few years ago. They were amazing and we got him a 1:1 for the kids club. Everyone knew him after about a day as he flapped and squealed his way (happily) round the resort. He is so obviously autistic that other people didn't really bat an eyelid (in the sense they could tell different behaviour expectations were necessary) and were super kind.
Have a wonderful time

@sandygrapes , my husband and I holiday at IKOS resorts once a year; I imagine that’s the sort of place you’re talking about? We’re grandparents and stay at IKOS as a couple. Over the years we’ve seen and met lots of couples, many honeymooners, also on holiday there. There are pools, areas on the beach and in restaurants which are adult only so it’s not a family only resort at all. I’m very happy to have families around and sometimes children can be a bit loud either because they’re stressed or having fun, not a bother to us but I do think that while adults need to be understanding to families and children those families need to understand that those without children are also entitled to enjoy their holiday. You have a child with special needs that should not mean that there is anywhere you ought not go at the same time as being aware and respectful of those around you just like everyone should.
Have a lovely holiday.

Why should spending a lot of money on an expensive family holiday exempt people from being around an SEN child? Your child has as much right to be there and enjoy his holiday as anyone else.

go on the holiday that works for your family.

flying wouldn’t work for DS (we have tried not in any hurry to try again!) but he loves cruises and they work well for him. I am sure some people judge but I no longer care he is happy, I am happy and that’s what matters

Sounds like it will be a good learning opportunity for them.

I think the only problem is the early waking noise. Many people will go off being woken on a holiday from noise. I would definitely find a villa that is separate. Then you not only keep from waking people but you don't have to flinch at every noise afraid of complaining guests and management.