MIL has bought a forward facing seat for 2 year old?

[Elisabeth3468]

I want to start by saying my son is 2 and is rear facing and has a specialised seat that rear faces up to 25kg. I plan on keeping him rear facing until he grows out of the weight/height limit which will probably be aged 5. I know how much safer it is.
My MIL knows how I feel about rear facing and I've provided her with all the facts and information but she doesn't seem to listen or want to know any better? That's fine because he never goes in her car anyway as she hasn't had a seat.
Until the other day she turns up and has bought him a forward facing only seat, brand new. It was off a colleague so highly discounted so she paid next to nothing but still it's forward facing and does rear face at all.
She keeps saying it's fine to forward face at his age etc. but she knows why I choose to rear face.
I feel really awkward now and I don't want my son to go in that seat.
I can't understand why she's done it. My mum has a car seat for my son and it's the same as ours and she's taken on board that the safest is to rear face.
I said to MIL I will buy a seat for her car if she wants one. She rarely looks after him anyway so confused why she's bought a seat.
AIBU?
What shall I say to her? I feel like she thinks I'm ungrateful.

Maybe it's just me but the point is not whether rear facing is good, bad, better,best.... It's about what the OP and her partner/spouse have decided and told MIL. She is trying to go against that and OP is trying to prevent that without WW3.

No they cant. They can sit cross legged on with their knees up towards the chest. That’s all.

I can assure you that there are different ways of positioning the child’s legs - it won’t let me add a screenshot as the file is too large but if you Google “rear facing 5yo” and select images you will see about 4 different options in the first 5 pics - legs up/down/crossed at ankle/crossed at knee/uncrossed.

My 6yo is very comfortable and moves his legs around.

But if she only has you child (and future) for such a short time and infrequently, you can't expect her to drive around daily for the next 5+ years with a hulking great seat in her car? It's no like she's suggesting a backless booster.

What if she has friends to collect etc or wants to go to ikea for some flat pack?

The ERF evangelists are something else.

Yes, they can. Here are lots of ways they can sit.

Your ignorance is embarrassing.

I know people do this and I know the safety reasons but it seems grim to me. Can't see out, can't see where they are going...... As I child, I was monumentally car sick unless I could see the way forward. This makes me go green just thinking about it.

Same here. So at what age does it all of a sudden become 'safe' to sit forward seated???

Why do you think they can’t see out? They can see out the side window very well and also out the back.

Rearward facing seats on trains, the tube and buses are completely normal - being travel sick in them is unusual.

Actually they can see far more out of an ERF seat because they are much higher up in the car.

Also rear facing does not increase the chance of carsickness and there are lots you can do to mitigate that. It is not a reason to forward face.

They can see out of the car because cars have rear windows. They can also, presumably, see out of the side windows if they turn their head, the same as if they were facing forwards.

It isn’t a sudden transition The longer your child rear faces for the safer they are.

Just going by my own experience. Out of the side window still made me feel ill, never sat looking out of the back window so don't know. I personally always prefer to travel facing forward, I can cope with backwards etc now on buses and trains but as a child I would have been so ill. No medication had any effect, although I realise it's better now. I do understand the reasoning for backwards facing, honestly. I would just have hated it and can understand why children aren't keen.

Yes we know. I completely get it, I'm a cogent adult, Small grandson of friend is in a seat with no view and nowhere to put his legs. That's all.

Do cars where you live not have windows in the rear passenger doors or the boot? Rear facing seats are higher up, so they can see out of the passenger door windows before a forward facing child can.

Who says children aren’t keen?

All the ERF children I know love it The seat is so much higher up, so they can see lots more.

Same here, just cannot ride backwards on trains, or in cars for that matter.

If that’s the case then that grandson is in an ill fitting seat and needs advising about ERF.

Then I'm glad but small boy (3) of my acquaintance certainly can't see out the back, only the side.

Why don’t they have an windows in the passenger doors or boot, is it a van? Our son had plenty room for his legs and could sit in a normal seated position until he was 4.5, despite being tall and leggy, meaning he needed the seat for longer as despite being tall enough, due to him being long of leg and short of body, his body wasn’t long enough for the seatbelt to be in the correct place in a high back booster.

How old is the child? What is the seat?

If they are in an ill fitting seat they need advising on ERF.

Right so first he couldn’t see at all, now he can see out the side but not the back?

And you get travel sick so everyone else must do too?

I had a similar situation where we are, except by law children are required to rear face until 2 and pediatric association recommends it for much longer. IMO the UK car seat laws are pretty lax. Anyway, my parents kept trying to put DD forward facing but our nanny was pretty hot on car seat safety and DD had really taken it in… which led to her tantruming on the motorway and insisting that they turn her seat round to rear… which they did!

For posters asking about legs, they just cross them… they are small children, it’s not like it is for an adult. And it really is a lot safer.

I think the thing is that car seats generally won't be used for extended periods of time. Buggies are different, because very young children who can't reliably walk yet might well be in and out of them all day. Whereas a car seat is only used in the car, and most journeys are less than half an hour or so. For sure there are times where you might take longer trips but those don't happen every day.

But also, this is making an assumption that the position in car seats is actually detrimental for legs/hips. It could be that it isn't.

I do think you're being OTT, OP, but this is your child, so it's your decision.

Because there's nowhere for there legs to go?