To think he's going on a date?

[Everybodystalkingallthisstuffaboutme]

I've been on a date with someone from work, but he's gone a bit funny and I haven't bothered asking for another one, if he wants to he will.

He's someone who doesn't like people talking during films (which is understandable) so usually goes alone.

I invited him to my belated birthday party tomorrow, admittedly I invited him with late notice but he's said he's 'catching up with a friend from an old job.'

I casually asked where they were going and he said 'the cinema'.

Do men go to the cinema in pairs?
I just have this feeling he's trying to date this 'friend'. It could well be innocent or a male but I'm not convinced.

Anyway I'm better just binning him off. I know he's entitled to do what he pleases, it just hurts a bit.

I really wouldnt take any notice of mumsnets rules of dating
Did you sleep with him?.
If you did I can kind of understand why your feelings might be more intense

That's a debate in itself, but in my experience it's bollocks. I doubt I'd be with my partner of 15 years if I hadn't done a reasonable bit of chasing aka asking him out for a first date. There isn't a rulebook to follow.

It’s fine to be upset OP, it’s completely normal to be upset when things don’t work out how you’d like them to, or if you feel like you’ve been rejected.
However I think you need to have a good think about why you’re so upset in this instance. With all respect, and I don’t want to sound harsh, if he hadn’t tried to arrange a follow up in the 2 weeks following the date then this wasn’t going to go anywhere, anyway. Did you really like him? Did you think the date went well?

Is that you Fiona ?

I see the exact opposite on here all the time. Generally MN is about direct communication. If you want something ask for it etc including encouraging women to have agency on their own relationships, by eg asking a man out, not playing games, even proposing if they so wish. I rarely see women on here encouraging playing it cool and following “the rules”. It’s a load of sexist bullshit. Yes, if a man likes you you’ll usually know. If this guy likes you he’ll arrange another date.

But just so you’re aware, it’s quite common for people to date multiple people at the early stages until you agree to be exclusive, so if it’s very important to you then make that clear from the outset.

Mad Max Furiosa is out. There were loads of guys in pairs in the cinema last night. I think we were the only couple.

DH goes to the cinema every so often with a friend to watch his nerd films.

I really hope he is going on a date and dumps you afterwards

Why? Does it make you feel good to wish bad things on to a stranger on the internet?

Do you think every women should be “bin” because he is going to the cinema.

It sounds like he possibly is going on a date. Or maybe he is just catching up with a friend. Either way it doesn’t change anything. He hasn’t found someone else so quickly as you were never together in the first place. It sounds like you liked him and would have liked to have gone on a second date but he doesn’t feel the same way. Putting this much energy into thinking about whether he is going on a date with someone else though is not healthy. Of course it hurts to feel rejected but time to distract yourself and move on.

What kind of cinema is this?

Do men go to the cinema with other men?

Sent from my iphon

Should be ‘bin’? I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Of course they do if they have a film they both want to see why not? Who else would they go with if they don't have a partner to go with.

Should every women “bin” a man because they go to the cinema?

When I was single I sometimes went on more than one date in a day, let alone over course of a fortnight. He doesn’t seem interested in you so of course he’s dating other people. Would you rather he said that? He’s sparing your feelings stop being possessive over someone you had one date with 2 weeks ago!

No one is ‘binning’ anyone, because they weren’t together in the first place 🤷🏻‍♀️

I need to get Netflix just so I can see this reindeer thing 😂.

You went out once, you decided not to bother asking him out again. He is going to the cinema with a friend and you've convinced yourself he is dating someone else and you're really hurt.

WTF?

My son goes with his ( male)friend to see horror films. His girlfriend doesn't like that kind of film

That would be difficult as they are not together

You are getting a bit of battering here OP which I’m sure you don’t need. You feel hurt and disappointed and sad. That can make our minds run riot. I don’t think for one moment you are a stalker or deranged or weird. Just a woman who has had their feelings hurt. The important thing is to put your best face forward at work. And move on with other things. You will be feeling better very soon. Fake it till you make it is a bit of a cliche. But it’s a pretty good motto really. Best of luck.

I think you're being really unfair OP.
If you like him you should've asked him for a second date. If he wanted to date other people, like you're paroniod he is, then he would've said no and that way you would've had closure.
Trying to find out things he's keeping private to himself is really unfair.
Look at your own actions here and not his.

Hmm. I think people approach dating differently OP.

Certainly I had a year (in my 20s so two decade ago now!) when I was between boyfriends. I dated a LOT. I went on dates with over 40 guys in the same year, sometimes two or three times. At the end of the year I met my husband and that was that!

You can tell from the numbers that it wasn't all measured and sequential. I was overlapping in my dating and filling the pipeline fast! Waiting two weeks between dates was certainly not fast in that context. I think it's pretty normal to be dating people on parallel when you're just dating (and to be clear, sleeping with people is a different stage - I was not shagging these guys).