To think he's going on a date?

[Everybodystalkingallthisstuffaboutme]

I've been on a date with someone from work, but he's gone a bit funny and I haven't bothered asking for another one, if he wants to he will.

He's someone who doesn't like people talking during films (which is understandable) so usually goes alone.

I invited him to my belated birthday party tomorrow, admittedly I invited him with late notice but he's said he's 'catching up with a friend from an old job.'

I casually asked where they were going and he said 'the cinema'.

Do men go to the cinema in pairs?
I just have this feeling he's trying to date this 'friend'. It could well be innocent or a male but I'm not convinced.

Anyway I'm better just binning him off. I know he's entitled to do what he pleases, it just hurts a bit.

I thought that was normal on the dating scene though? Some people I know have dates lined up on consecutive nights!

Dear god, I hope not!

@Everybodystalkingallthisstuffaboutme , you are doing this to yourself. Give yourself a talking to.

This workmate went on one date with you. That was two weeks ago. Nothing has happened since.

Let it go. There is nothing between you. If there were, it would have happened in the intervening time.

He didn't want to come to your birthday party. Have a nice time at the party and stop thinking about the poor bloke. Otherwise you'll make working together awful.

There's a difference between being upset and the intensity of your reaction, though.

It's also a scenario entirely of your own making.

He said he would've come but it was too short notice because he now had this cinema thing arranged with the 'friend'. Anyway life will go on guess, hopefully I'll meet someone else.

I'm more concerned with the speed at which you're turning stalker...

You can call me stalker or whatever you like, I am not bothered.

Loads of folk have gone on a first date and been upset when it didn't progress further. But your reaction and over-speculation of what he's up to now is intense and it isn't going to help you in any way. Nor is finding out if he's going on a cinema date.
If you want to go on a second date, you simply need to ask him - for the sake of the closure you're looking for. Based on what you've said I would prepare for him to politely decline, but who knows.

You went on one date. He's not dumped you or moved on or anything. If he is going on a date with someone else then it's irrelevant whether it's 2 weeks or 1 week or 2 days after your date.

But you don't even know that he's going to the cinema with another woman.

It could be a male friend.

And why do you care, anyway? He isn't your boyfriend.

@Everybodystalkingallthisstuffaboutme

I know it looks that way but my instincts have usually been correct, plus this is how some men operate sadly.
WHAT is how some men 'Operate'?

Try to put it out of your mind OP. This man knows you like him. Without any doubt. And you invited him to your party which he politely declined. If he was interested in dating you he would have either rearranged his cinema trip. Or at least invited you to do something to celebrate your birthday on another day.

It is not really material whether he is seeing another woman at the cinema, or a male friend, or even making up an excuse not to come to the party. He is not interested in another date with you. Not at the moment anyway. This could be for any number of reasons. Try not to dwell on it or take it personally.

It is upsetting when hopes are dashed. But there will be other people out there, other opportunities. Please don’t make any further attempts to engage with this man romantically. You will get hurt and it will affect your confidence and your reputation at work.

Thank you. I appreciate you being honest and constructive yet tactful.

Who issued these instructions?

Are you a spy or something?

I see it all the time on here that men should do the chasing, women should let men come to them, if a man's interested you'll know, and so on.

But your behaviour is very, very unusual.

It's normal to be a little disappointed after a single date that you hoped would lead to something, did not. It's not normal to be upset.

Him going on another date is irrelevant

Do you always just mindlessly do what you've been told by strangers on the internet?

Christ on a bike.

If a bloke went on like this about a woman from work he'd been on one date with, we'd already be planning the restraining order. He's dodged a bullet regardless of what's happening with the cinema trip.

Nope! They really wouldn't act/feel like you after ONE date OP.

You sound unhinged, to be fair! I'm picturing pans on the stove and boiling rabbits!! Honestly...you might consider therapy, because this is beyond normal!

I've really come on here to ask whether it sounds like a date or not, that was my initial question, but I've established there's no way of knowing.

But you only had one date!

You are very intense, I think he's had a lucky escape. Imagine reading a man post this.

Well of course nobody can answer that.
You can't realistically have expected a definitive answer.

So this is how stalkers start then😬

I’ll not call you names, but I will say in the kindest way possible that based off what you’ve typed on this thread, you do not sound of stable enough mind to start a relationship with anyone.