To think he's going on a date?

[Everybodystalkingallthisstuffaboutme]

I've been on a date with someone from work, but he's gone a bit funny and I haven't bothered asking for another one, if he wants to he will.

He's someone who doesn't like people talking during films (which is understandable) so usually goes alone.

I invited him to my belated birthday party tomorrow, admittedly I invited him with late notice but he's said he's 'catching up with a friend from an old job.'

I casually asked where they were going and he said 'the cinema'.

Do men go to the cinema in pairs?
I just have this feeling he's trying to date this 'friend'. It could well be innocent or a male but I'm not convinced.

Anyway I'm better just binning him off. I know he's entitled to do what he pleases, it just hurts a bit.

No it’s not hurtful / it’s nice. He is not leading you on - this is a nice man. He went on a date. He’s not asked for another one.

I didn't ask because I've been instructed not to 'chase' men. You know what maybe I am paranoid, nuts whatever. So be it. I'm upset, I'll forget it eventually. But yes, I'm upset.

I'm sorry but he doesnt owe you anything it was a date nothing more ,he's free to date who he wants as are you

wants to bash own head with a frying pan

You. Don't. Know. It. Is. A. Date. Or. Even. A. Woman.

You are not Mystic Meg. You've been on one date. And you should not be hurting or speculating to this degree after one date.

In the kindest possible way, if you’re hitting the dating scene you’re going to have to toughen up. Men will reject you, ghost you; some are absolute shits.

Most worrying is that you’re so upset despite none of that happening, really. You had a single date, didn’t work out, and now he’s off to the cinema with his mate (or just said that to avoid your birthday party). He’s not done anything wrong.

Yes, I know he doesn't owe me anything. Please stop repeating that.

This comment has transformed the thread from "paranoid overthinking obsession to "awesome Muppet movie" in my head.

Well done, Frog, I salute you.

Instructed by who?
There is nothing exciting about a woman who expects to be chased like a price pig. It works both ways you know.

Don’t forget the night vision goggles.

He hasn’t ’got with another woman' as he wasn’t with you, it was one date!
you’re being far too intense after one date and it’s coming across as quite concerning.

What do you mean you've been instructed? By who?

You're an adult. If you were that interested, you could have asked.

With the best of intentions, you're creating the upset. You're creating this whole narrative.

I didn't ask because I've been instructed not to 'chase' men

If you always do what you have been "instructed" to do then maybe take some of the very good advice that you have been given on this thread.

You are making up your own scenario based on absolutely nothing.

Radical suggestion - just ask him.

He might still ask you out again. He might be just going to the cinema. Way overthinking this.

Poor bloke.

There was nothing to "move on" from OP. Even if it is a date it's still "innocent". He's done nothing wrong. He hasn't "got another women". He didn't "have you", you went on one date. Please don't try to investigate - you are going to look a bit mad and stalker ish. He would of asked for another date, or come to your party, if he enjoyed the date and wanted to see you again. I'm sorry you are upset, but that's not his fault, amd you need to drop it.

There is nothing to move on from, as it was one date and wasn't repeated. Christ I've spent longer on a plane chatting to a bloke than you spent on a date with this guy.

He is doing nothing wrong, at all. You are sending all the red flags up and need to seriously look at that, what you're doing and how you're behaving (questioning him in detail about who!) is not ok.

He is not with you, he wasn't with you, you had one evening together that's it.

Wait, so he went on one date with you, he wasn't that into you and didn't arrange another. Just out of curiosity, how long do you think he should abstain from dating other people, out of respect for your feelings? You both went on a date, he didn't suggest another one, you didn't suggest another one. It sucks that you like him and he doesn't (apparently) like you, I get that, but you're being a bit weird about this.

Did you shag him?

Jesus intense much!! Poor guy has had a lucky escape.

Yes ok, I get all this. I know it's not rational.
I'd like to know if it's a date so I can move on. If it's just friends, it gives me hope or I might ask him again.

No, you don't need to know "for your sanity", you need to have a serious think why you are so massively invested after ONE date, because that's not exactly a sane response.

👶🦌

if you were this intense on your date as you are on here maybe thats why he doesn't want another date

Just ask him anyway. If he's not interested he'll say so and you can move on.

There's no need for rudeness so I think I'm done here. I understand it's intense or whatever but I'm sure others would feel a bit upset if a date didn't work out and then it seemed like they had another so quickly after. Yes I know that's life but I'm allowed to be upset.

And yet you were already determined not to ask him out again unless he asked you, which he hasn't

Don't play games with people you like. You can only blame yourself for not knowing where you stand.