Sitting around on bed during the day

[Ferngardens]

Fed up of my husband sitting around on the bed all the time. He just sits there reading or on his phone for hours over the week. Especially in day clothes I don't think it's very nice, plus bad for his back and the bed surely. I get why kids hang around in their rooms but think it's something people grow out of surely. I wish he'd find a chair or something to do! It annoys me when there's piles of washing on the bed and he's just there scrolling away. I feel like I can't go in the bedroom because he's just hanging around on the bed and it's irritating.

When people say ‘day clothes’ what do they mean? Is it ‘house clothes’ as in any clothes that aren’t pyjamas or ‘outside clothes’ as in jeans/shirts/workwear/pretty dresses etc.?

Do you make him feel bad about it so he's on edge?

I love a good mooch about in my own bed. I get changed into comfy clothes/jammies though. My husband isn't one for it and prefers the sofa but he's never made me feel bad about it.

I'm a grown adult and if I want to read a book/watch a movie on my laptop or have a wee doze in bed I bloody well will. It's bliss.

No, I don't 'make him feel' anything. He seemingly feels bad about it of his own accord.

I found lounging on the bed during the day quite weird too. I don’t know why I do but once I’m up then the bed is made and it doesn’t occur to me to hang out in my room. I literally sleep there and change there and that’s it

I love sitting in my bed. When my youngest naps I take a coffee up and sit in my bed looking out the window, might have a snooze but might not.

I quite like just chilling out in our room, lying in/on the bed, reading or scrolling online….

I sometimes want to stretch out or curl up instead of sitting on the sofa. It’s nice and quiet up there and I’m less likely to be disturbed.

I'm always amazed by the things that some Mumsnetters find unacceptable. Things that in 50+ yrs I've never heard anyone complain about.

I love my bed, I like to read in bed or watch something on my tablet. It's comfier and warmer than downstairs. I wear day clothes, though will remove my jeans if I go under the covers, I don't have loungewear. DH likes time to chill in the lounge with his war films or whatnot, it suits us both.

Although if the issue is your DH not pulling his weight then that's another matter.

I used to spend lots of time in my room. I'd be pissed off he's laying with the clean washing rather than putting it away but I don't see a problem with it really. Like others have said he's running away. Out of sight won't be asked to do things he doesn't want to do. I still run away up to my room sometimes.

Beds are comfy, I spend lots of time hanging on the bed. I'd understand if you were bothered about not doing stuff together but saying it isn't what beds are for is just bizarre, there aren't any rules.

He is either a lazy git messing around on his mobile as he wants a break from family life for a bit to chill out or he is exhausted

I lie on my bed quite a lot and play games

He could have something on his mind be a bit stressed out or bit down depressed ?
@Ferngardens

It does sound odd. But then I think about it. In my defence I'm a single mum working full time spinning many plates.... but.... sometimes on a Saturday afternoon, I come upstairs with a cup of tea, get my legs under the duvet cover for 20 minutes and watch an episode of Say Yes To The Dress on my phone. (Hangs head in shame). 🤣

He is a grown adult, I don't get this 'I have decided what people should do and if they don't do it my way I am right'

@5128gap

Odd reaction for him to have for no reason. Your tone in your post is disapproving. Maybe he picks up on that. Next time he jumps you should reassure him that he's allowed to lounge about as long as he likes and where he likes in his own home.

I often do this… I like my own space, am sensitive to noise (kids, tv if it’s on etc) and live in a cold house. My bedroom is my sanctuary that meets all my needs. I love a couple of hours spent there on a down day when we weren’t doing much!

Nah I’m always on my bed if I’m not working. I don’t like sitting downstairs on the couch.

I’m obviously a weirdo as I frequently sit on my bed on my phone or go to bed early to watch a movie on my iPad. For me, it’s a quiet place to escape to decompress. Sometimes I don’t want to sit in living room watching the tv shows my husband or kids are watching. During winter time I hate being cold so it’s my preferred place to go and get cosy even during the day time on a weekend! 🙈

I wondered for a minute if I’d written this post and forgotten about it! My DH does this and it drives me unreasonably insane!!

It just seems so much lazier than sitting on the sofa downstairs which doesn’t bother me (although there’s plenty of things that need doing too!) - I reckon it’s a way to avoid having to interact with the kids / family.

I have a chronic illness and spend a lot of time in my bed, sleeping, resting, curled up reading books on my phone. It’s my idea of bliss. My DH plays computer games to decompress after a work day, I curl up in bed and read. Each to their own.

I don't use my downstairs at all. Like never!
I'm always sitting on my bed

YABU. I don't see why people shouldn't use their beds to relax in the daytime. Beds are comfortable, usually the most comfortable place in the house. I spend happy hours reading in or on my bed, especially when the weather is bad. So does my DH. And so do our cats. Cut your husband some slack and give him some space to read and chill. There's nothing particularly 'adult' about reserving the bed for nighttime.

The not putting washing away would annoy me, but otherwise, not so much. I used to spend time on my bed reading when I was my mother's carer, so I wasn't sitting right beside her in my tiny unit. It was the closest thing to privacy I had.

I was sitting on the bed reading my phone after work yesterday right next to a pile of washing that needed putting away. Sometimes you just need a break.

Ooh, I don't think so. It's not my place to comment on what my man does! He'd think me most presumptuous! I think its best that I just wait to go up to run his bath until he's stopped lying down so I don't startle him in future. But thank you so much for your advice. You must have a very modern marriage yourself.