Sitting around on bed during the day

[Ferngardens]

Fed up of my husband sitting around on the bed all the time. He just sits there reading or on his phone for hours over the week. Especially in day clothes I don't think it's very nice, plus bad for his back and the bed surely. I get why kids hang around in their rooms but think it's something people grow out of surely. I wish he'd find a chair or something to do! It annoys me when there's piles of washing on the bed and he's just there scrolling away. I feel like I can't go in the bedroom because he's just hanging around on the bed and it's irritating.

@Harara

DO YOU have a job? Do YOU WFH? Are YOU posting in/out of work hours?

jesus, why are you judging him for scrolling on his phone, but it's ok for you??

@Thepeopleversuswork

and another one!!

it's ok for you to piss about on MN, but not for him to do what he wants on his phone?? I don't think you have the high ground here.

See, now if any loved one of mine did that I'd be worried rather than annoyed.

That's not the behaviour of a happy person engaged with family life.

Eh? Me and dp have been at work all day. Done our house chores. The kids are having a whale of a time in the extension on roblox with their mates on a WhatsApp call. There's naff all on the TV and a new Stephen King book come out last week.

But if you don’t lie on your bed during the day, where do you go to hide from your children?! 😀

when DH has them and I get a break I am up the stairs at warp speed

I love chilling on my bed. Leave the poor guy alone ffs

I love lying relaxing on my bed reading or whatever with my dog curled up beside me.

Oh The irony my life is likely done in a few weeks time don't be to keen , my
NHS bed turns up next week .

yabu focusing on where he is sitting in particular (he’s a grown man, he can sit on his bed, day clothes or not). However, it sounds like the bigger problem is that he’s lazy and not pulling his weight.

Well I wouldn’t be bothered about the location, surely a bed is a great lazy hangout place? The real problem to sort out seems to be that he’s avoiding responsibility in this way. If he starts pulling his weight around the house when necessary then I don’t see why wanting to relax on the bed in downtime needs to be a great issue.

I quite like sitting on my bed!

I have a perfectly good living room but sometimes, I just like to take myself away from everyone and everything and chill on my bed for a bit.

I do this most days after work for a bit. I need to decompress before I interact with my adult/ near adult children! They know where to find me and ask which of us is cooking/ is there a plan for dinner. Helps me be a nicer person

What on earth is wrong with sitting or lying on your bed during the day? What do you mean 'It's not nice'? Honestly I am completely baffled by some of the things that many MNers seem to fret about. All this nonsense about doing things 'in one's day clothes' too. Otherwise known as just clothes.

I spend hours on my bed, sometimes dressed, sometimes in my pjs. I read, watch tv, do puzzles, life admin. It's so comfortable. Whole days can go by when I don't enter the living room. My ultimate plan is to downsize and live in a studio apartment.

I really don't get the issue with sitting/laying on the bed in itself. It's ridiculous that an adult is expected not to do this in their own home.
I'd usually get changed first but I do as soon as I get home anyway.

Being lazy and not doing their share of housework is an issue though.

I do it. I find my bed lovely and comfortable and often have a snooze during the day. Bedroom is cool and calm and relaxing.

I had a sleep about 5.30 for half an hour before I made dinner. In my day clothes. Under the covers. Heaven.

Not weird at all. DH does it too, though in general he prefers the sofa.

This thread has made me make a brew and come and get in bed.

Same with people who watch sports or Netflix for hours.

I don't even agree with this. Absolutely anything you do is just passing time until death, anything. How can there be any kind of a scale of righteousness about the value of how you entertain yourself?

All these people who are fine with it? Have you read the op properly?

Her dh is scrolling for hours repeatedly and entire weekend afternoons …

Omg I would absolutely hate to be told not to hang around my own bed!
That would make me want my own bedroom to be able to close you out of it sorry op

If it's generally not contributing to the house and family life though I would approach it from that angle

Me too. I'm here right now! I don't find our sofa comfy (actually I don't find any sofas particularly comfy!) and I like my bedroom, it's my safe place where I feel calm. I don't sit downstairs unless I'm sitting with DH in the evening or we have visitors (DCs are teens and in their rooms usually).

I don’t see a problem with him relaxing on the bed in the day. A bit of relaxation time is really healthy. My mother used to lie on the bed and read in the day sometimes. Now that I look back I think it was really healthy modelling, showing by her actions that she deserves a break sometimes. I know other women who are on their feet all day and I think it sets an example that women should never take time for themselves.

I love my bed days. but obv no outside clothes in the bedroom that would cause me to throw him out tbh

I wouldn’t be keen on the retreating away from everyone and scrolling while I did all the chores aspect, but whether he’s sat on a bed or in a chair is not something I’d care about.