To think if one parent can't look after the DC, it's the other parents responsibility to do so?

[looop114]

And not their partners?

If two parents are separated and one of them becomes unwell (not just a cold but actually very poorly and unable to look after the DC kind of unwell), it should be automatically the other parents responsibility to look after the children and not the unwell parents partner or spouse?

They can if they want to obviously but the initial assumption should be that the other parent will parent their children even though its not "their time" when the other is not able to? Providing both are involved parents.

Aibu to think this is the case and that it's quite entitled to make assumptions that your co parents partner/spouse will look after your DC when the other parent is unwell intstead of you?

This….
Although I bet if they other parent was sick they’d just cancel their visitation rather than arrange childcare for their weekend / week !

I don’t think any judge would criticise a dad for having his kids when he’s ‘very poorly in hospital and unable to breathe!’

if you used him being in hospital as a reason to get full custody you’d be the one looking like a Cupid Stunt..

Also like OP has pointed out, dad has had them during ‘her time’ plenty of times… and not even in emergencies!

I read this initially as you were really sick and the other parent was refusing to have the children .. instead expecting your partner to have them… and I’m guessing if the kids mum was sick during ‘your time’ she would just say she couldn’t have them because she’s sick… the same as your DH is…. No it’s not your problem to sort.
Glad you refused…. And yeah next time she asks for a favour I’d be reminding her of this! It’s not like your husband just cancelled having his kids without good reason. Just be careful that when you take the kids to hospital to see DH she doesn’t then just pretend to be out lumbering you with the responsibility!!

No, but they would criticize him for not having emergency care arranged, for not hashing out what would happen in cases like this with his ex if it were her he wants caring for the children during his time when he can't. Both him and the ex seem to have assumed the stepmother would do it. While that is a valid assumption on the mother's part, she doesn't know the stepmother-the husband should have already known that his new wife was not going to take care of his children during his time.
It doesn't matter how you argue it. This was not an emergency. He was sick days before he had to go into the hospital. He had all that time to make arrangements for who would care for the children. Whether that is reminding his ex how many times he did it for her or calling his parents, paying someone, begging his wife to do it for him.
The mother may be a fucking cunt. But it is the father failing in his parental duties.
If the mother drops the kids off knowing he is in the hospital, then it is her doing something that would be frowned on and illegal. Because she should contact someone to let them know that she has custody of the children when she shouldn't for an indeterminate length of time.
When two people share joint custody, they essentially become two single parents. They should act like it. If he wanted his children during days not his and had the time and agreed to take them, that does not make her obligated to do the same without any communication from him. Like I have said before, this is another case of a man trying to pit two women against each other while he sits back and watches.
And no, I don't care that he is in the hospital. He better be knocked out/cognitively impaired for that excuse to work. I have arranged childcare as a single mom and married mom from a hospital bed plenty of times. it is not hard if you have discussed it with people before and made arrangements like a parent is supposed to.

". I am sourcing the appropriate care for my children during an emergency situation. She should do the same. It's called parenting surely? It's not always going to fit into some allotted time."
Yes, during her time she should do that. During his time, your husband should have done that.

You know what, I can't believe I am still here, stupidly arguing about this shit when as far as I can tell from the OP comments
The mother has the damned kids!!!!
She just keeps calling and asking when the father is going to take them or if the stepmother will take them during his time.
Just say no!. Give your husband his phone and tell the mother to call and pester him, he is the father!
I cannot believe how stupid I am to sit and argue on here without understanding what was really happening.
The mother has the kids!!!They are with her! She is just complaining about it.
I hate a drip feed convoluted thread from an OP that has us all in here arguing about nothing.
Go read through all her comments again like I just did. Seems like she is saying the mother already has the kids and is complaining about it. That is all. no one has made her take care of the kids