To think Brits dislike success?

[garlicmashpotatoes]

After many years of reading comments from posters on MumsNet and other forums, I get the impression that many Brits cannot stand to see people who have 'more than them' or achieve 'success' when they've worked hard to do so.

In America success is celebrated, and aspired to. Whereas in the UK it's often looked down upon.

Why?

Find someone who deserves your job and give it to them then.

@Floatingvoternolandinsight that is such a stupid answer to a thoughtful post.

Isn’t it the class system? Upper classes resent lower classes in their spaces the whole new money is tacky & shameful compared to old money.

Yes, let's say the uncomfortable things.....

Some in higher paid jobs rely on and benefit from the 'hard work' of those in minimum wage jobs, but don't value that contribution, they mock it because it's not financially rewarding, instead they tell those minimum wage workers they're not doing it right (just like you have) they're not bettering themselves in a meaningful way, rather than recognising that both sides rely on each other and have an important role to play in making the whole thing work.

It doesn't take away from how hard someone has worked for their success, that someone else can work just as hard but not be as financially successful, it's how the whole thing needs to work in order for it to well, work at all.

Without the services the minimum wage workers provide, there's many successful people who wouldn't have had the opportunity to reach their success, or to enjoy that success when they do.

The refusal to value those people providing that service is quite small minded imo, very few are successful and then enjoy that success in a bubble without using things like child care, social care, education, retail and hospitality, you know provided by those people who are on minimum wage that apparently aren't hardworking enough or don't sacrifice enough.

Authenticity? In the UK? If we’re going to by national stereotypes the UK is known for passive aggression and not saying what you actually mean.

I agree. Lets just say the uncomfortable thing.
Britain is very far from being a meritocracy with too much reliant on inheritances and who you know. Lets not pretend for one minute that Boris Johnson for example, became Prime Minister because of his hard work and intelligence.

Both are annoying in equal measure though. The passive aggressiveness of the Brits & the nausea-inducing fake positivity of the Americans. I think the latter for me is harder to tolerate. No-one is that relentlessly buoyant and over-excited all the time. It’s exhausting after about 5 minutes.

And honestly when you clearly have the attitude that people in low income jobs are beneath you or inferior to you, the people you are making money on the back off, expect them to feel resentful.

@AStepAtaTime Mix with the northern working class then. I hate UK middle and upper class passive aggressiveness. It is a totally shitty way to behave.

Working hard and working smart are two different things though. Successful people often do the latter and the former sometimes feel resentful that they work just as hard for less money IME

I don't think it's just privilege because very few people are bankrolled for life by their family. At some point you usually need to make your way in a job and most of the successful people I know have either started their own small business or been very good at climbing the corporate ladder.

A good education etc helps, but usually if you're managing a team of 250 people you're probably not a completely useless numpty.

@AngryHedgehog work smarter? So use your contacts and privilege?

Depends how you define "success " I guess.

Not really. If you have clawed your way out of poverty only to be continually told how lucky you are. Some of us did not have middle class parents to buy us tutors or steer us to towards wealthy stable careers, or hobbies we shared with our interviewers. We certainly aren't interested people who have had these benefits telling us that their luck was our luck.

I don't think it's just privilege because very few people are bankrolled for life by their family.

you don’t need to be bankrolled for life though, getting help to get on the ladder can make a huge difference to your future. A safety net is huge privilege that’s often forgotten about.

Hmm, my mate was a van driver and is now earning £65k driving fuel tankers. Not CEO money by any means but vastly above the average wage, especially for a working class guy with ADHD, shit qualifications, and a criminal record from his misspent youth.

Average trade salary is now £10k above the average graduate salary of £35k so it's not all about education and private schools etc.

I agree. People often minimise their privilege. Every penny I have had since I was 18 years old has been earned. Friends who have worked less hard and not sought promotion like I have are better off because they were given money and inheritances.

Rubbish. Most wealth is not built on inheritance or luck. Most is due to people actually studying hard to get qualifications to get them into high earning jobs, such as doctors, solicitors etc. it can take years of studying and sacrifice to get to the top. Many people who moan that they’re in low paid jobs just haven’t wanted to put in the time and effort it takes to be successful. And that’s fine, but then don’t be bitter and envious at those that do.

No, pick a high paying job which is in demand. Like my above mate who spent two grand on HGV and ADR licenses and is now making £65k driving fuel tankers. And works 4on/4off so he works one less day a week than me and has a four day weekend every week.

He's making more than some of my graduate mates who took on £20-30k debt in the process!

Why do British Indians out perform all other ethnic groups when it comes to education, home ownership? etc

What privilege did they have in the 1950s when they worked as factory workers and cleaners?

I'd never heard of this term but sums it up perfectly.

DH and I both grew up working class in pretty rough areas. Both worked our arses off and had successful careers with DH earning really well and he is literally the hardest working person I know. We're very quiet on social media, barely share much at all. We moved into a very large home 1 year ago and not shared a single photo online for instance. Don't talk about money either and financially support both of our families paying two mortgages and helping DSis with bills.

The last couple of years some relationships with our closest friends have gotten so complicated and tense. Comments like, 'you've changed', offhand comments talking about how we will be paying our mortgage until we're 70 (we won't but don't discuss this) and they're so glad they stuck with their first home as mortgage free in 10 years etc.

Our circumstances have changed and it has made some friends uncomfortable I think.

@Livelovebehappy did you have help at all from your family while you studied for many years?
You do know for many older people we were not even able to stay on at school after 16? You needed your family to agree to support you to do that.

Can you define success? Because I think British people do celebrate success- in sports, the arts etc. Id you are referring just to people making money, it’s because it’s often at the expense of others, inheritance, luck, nepotism etc.When people are successful and generous e.g. George Michael, then they do tend to be celebrated. But if you want me to get excited about Gary down the road in his detached new build, driving past in his new jag then, no I’m going to not give 2 shits about him.

I feel like people on here are often quite blinkered in that they only think of corporate/graduate jobs.

I was speaking to the crane slinger at one of our sites the other day and he's just got his crane licence and secured a placement learning the tower cranes. He'll also be on around £65k. At 23yo and with no student loan!

Young black guy from a rough part of Brum who certainly doesn't speak the queen's English. But it doesn't matter in his job. It's all about competency.

This is stupid. Most of those who came over were well educated. Doctors forced to drive taxis in the UK to earn a living.
Plus the family help each other out. They give house deposits, jobs, etc to each other. They do not stick to only helping their own children in the family.
One man I met told me when he and other family came over to the UK in the sixties they were in an overcrowded place. They all worked and pooled their wages until they had enough to pay a large deposit for one couple who moved out. They then carried on pooling until they had enough for a large deposit for the next couple and so on. They were not on their own.

I'm from a very w/class and poor background. I was stopped from going to uni as my mum wanted me to contribute (this also happened to other friends). I worked hard in my job and got promoted, contributed to pension and was a working mother. I retired early (but still work p/t) and I now notice that there is huge resentment and jealousy from both my birth family and friends that I grew up with. Despite the fact that I never talk about money, they consider that I'm 'lucky' and 'above myself'.
Tall Poppy Syndrome indeed.