To think Brits dislike success?

[garlicmashpotatoes]

After many years of reading comments from posters on MumsNet and other forums, I get the impression that many Brits cannot stand to see people who have 'more than them' or achieve 'success' when they've worked hard to do so.

In America success is celebrated, and aspired to. Whereas in the UK it's often looked down upon.

Why?

Rubbish. Most wealth is not built on inheritance or luck. Most is due to people actually studying hard to get qualifications to get them into high earning jobs, such as doctors, solicitors etc. it can take years of studying and sacrifice to get to the top. Many people who moan that they’re in low paid jobs just haven’t wanted to put in the time and effort it takes to be successful. And that’s fine, but then don’t be bitter and envious at those that do.

Why is social mobility so bad then? Most of todays doctors & solicitors came from certain backgrounds. Living near excellent state schools isn’t cheap. Your background does matter.

“As a result, a measure of lifetime income mobility, which includes inheritances, is set to fall further across the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s generations. That means your parents’ income and wealth is of ever-growing importance in determining your own position in the lifetime income distribution.”

OP, I was actually saying the same to my DH just a few days ago. We are quite successful, earn good salaries and the better our situation gets the more I feel like having to justify it to people around us ( I know we don’t have to but it feels this way due to the questions asked, comments made etc) It actually has become quite uncomfortable and we have become very private due to this.
i don’t know what causes it , my DH thinks it’s because so many people work very hard and feel like they’re not getting anywhere.

Absolutely this. Myself and others from my council estate were told that it 'wasn't for the likes of us' by our own parents. We didn't know what we didn't know.

I actually work for a Sikh run business.

From what I see it's partly a strong network (most of our suppliers are Indian and know each other from the temple, for example) and also part of Sikh culture is that you work hard every day whether you're rich or poor.

I just see a different level of ambition tbh. I know a guy in his early 20s who has been running his own small haulage company for a year and doing really well. His father had a similar company and he (the son) was helping the family business from around 12yo (mainly translating stuff for his dad I believe). By 18yo (when I first met him) he was streets ahead of most teens I meet.

I agree. People often minimise their privilege. Every penny I have had since I was 18 years old has been earned. Friends who have worked less hard and not sought promotion like I have are better off because they were given money and inheritances.

Exactly, many don’t seem to understand that income is only part of the picture.

i don’t know what causes it , my DH thinks it’s because so many people work very hard and feel like they’re not getting anywhere.

He’s probably right, wages have barely grown in years

@YourPinkDog it's stupid that people even compare- I know it's changing but until recently (and still common in many families) was that it was seen as 'family money' - hence extended families living together often with 3 or 4 adults all contributing to a family pot of money - family money - then buying franchises and businesses etc.

How many white Britush families would want to live in this kind of way? I don't think it's many- but clearly it does create wealth for some.

When we lived in Windsor on a veryposh street ( we had the 1 remotely average house- even thought it was a 4 bedder and rented) we had 7 or 8 clearly well off Asian families with at least 3 or 4 high end cars in the drive all the time and one family had 6

Hahahaha. The lies!

Indians in the 1950s were NOT mostly educated. Indians were recruited to fulfill the labour shortage that resulted from WW2.

• Workers mainly from the Bengal, Punjab and Gujaratregions arrived from India in the late 1950s and 1960s. Many worked in the foundries of the English Midlands. Large numbers of Gujaratis worked in the textile manufacturing sector in the northwest industrial towns of Blackburn, Dewsbury, Bolton, Lancaster, Manchester and Preston. Sikhs coming to London either migrated to the East to set up businesses where the wholesale, retail and manufacturing elements of the textile industry were located. Many Sikhs also moved to West London and took up employment at Heathrow airport and the associated industries and in the plants and factories of major brands such as Nestle around it.

They give house deposits, jobs, etc to each other.

@YourPinkDog

You must realise how ignorant this is. Please share the coordinates for the pot of gold that British Indian immigrants workers used to gift each other house deposits when they worked as factory workers, textile workers….

There seems to be a big focus on equality on Mumsnet but if you increase taxes on high earners and inheritance it will reduce the incentive to work really hard and save money to pass on to your children. If we want people to work hard there should be the right incentives.

I think 1m inheritance tax free is plenty tbh. My parents & in-laws homes are worth more that this but neither myself or my siblings are bothered. We are already on the ladder because we have already had help.

I think there is too much disparity between income & wealth tbh. I’d rather have less inheritance & pay less PAYE

You see I don’t think so. It’s a popular trope on here but I think the reality is that people see through the ‘pulled myself up by the bootstraps, I’ve worked hard and deserve everything I have’ brigade. We have terrible inequality in this country. It’s not a ‘cheap shot’ to point this out.

You see this is always said. But there are issues at the low earners point of attracting people to work. I am considering getting a NMW job because the extra responsibilities are not worth the money. There is a shortage of people doing my job. And it is a job that needs doing.

I am considering getting a NMW job because the extra responsibilities are not worth the money. There is a shortage of people doing my job. And it is a job that needs doing.

Why NMW though? I have a decent job, I could get paid a lot more switching company/industry but I don’t want the stress. I still get paid far better than NMW though

Oh they do do they? So Everyone who says they have pulled themselves out of poverty is a liar? Are you going to whip out your disabled dc and tell me about my privilege and luck too?

It is often a cheap arse shot, by people who know nothing about real poverty, privilege or hard work.

It is possible to work really hard and be low paid, it is possible to work hard and be moderately paid, it is also possible to work hard and be well paid. None of those 'working hard' positions infers the others are not working hard enough. Life is not fair or even, but that doesn't mean that we can't do the best with what we have, even if we don't have any legs up like invested parents, great academics or other benefits that others may have.

It does very much infer that. You seem quite angry. My child has schizophrenia. Do I win something?

@Pollipops1 I am older. It is too late to retrain. I do not have enough working years left. So I need something that I do not require specific qualifications for.

People on this thread seem to be confusing working hard with taking what you can.

Two friends from university.
One went to a comprehensive, got their a-levels Bs got their nursing degree while working as a waitress, has worked nightshifts in NHS wards for 20 yrs
They earn a fraction of, and considered less successful than friend B
Went to a very exclusive private school, scraped their a-levels at a grade C, spent 3 yrs of university drunk and high. Scraped through their computing degree (went to less than 1/3 of lectures)
Left uni - gap year paid for by parents, then a job at friend of parents company, invited to various corporate events monthly through friends from school and contacts of parents, a winning smile and lots of charm.....promotion after promotion.

Now I am not saying Friend B isn't clever or good at what they do (Even if that is mostly charming people)....so is Friend A.

But Friend B doesn't deserve more respect for being more successful because they worked harder....that's simply not true.
They are rich because they started rich.

No it doesn't and no you don't.

But the person who's a natural charmer will often beat the person with great grades and inferior soft skills, unless you're talking things like accountancy. Relationships and networking are often key.

This is Mumsnet...

Not necessarily. I was a high earner, and beyond covering the basics, money really isn’t the motivator you’d think. Well perhaps it is in some industries but I can’t speak for those. I worked really hard because I loved what I did, cared about my employees.

so kind