Work event.. left me out of the planning

[Notthattimeofthemonth]

We have a work day out next month and they have asked us to bring in a baby picture and they are going to guess who’s who to get us all networking.

I’m the only black person out of 126 people going so wouldn’t take them very long to guess who’s who.

im trying to calm down before I address this as I’m currently infuriated.

how on earth do I proceed with this in the correct way..

But then it'll be hidden away so naice people don't have to see it.

I've always been a tad ambivalent about minority groups of any kind. They are an excellent way to remove troublemakers and hide dissent.

Yikes OP! Your bosses’ mortification when you point this out to her will hopefully encourage her to arrange additional DEI for the HR team.

for starters i imagine she won't get a load of people telling her she's overreacting, to get over it and that she's making a fuss.

I imagine will get understanding, empathy and maybe some good pointers of how to handle it from people who have been through similar.

But as i said before, I'm glad she posted here - i am not glad at some of the reactions she got - because it is a good example of casual racism.

Yes for a minute I thought OP was saying they’d been told not to bring in a photo at all!!!

I am not sure I see the issue. Some people will be identifiable as babies. Their hair, distinguishable features, skin colour….. is it an issue? If OP is the only black person in such a large team that would be more of a concern to me than being asked to bring in a baby photo, which is a fairly standard meaningless ice breaker. I’d concentrate efforts on asking why they don’t have a more diverse workforce.

This type of ice breaker is old fashioned and inappropriate for many reasons. Speak to the organiser and politely suggest they replace this activity (or preferably, do away with 'ice breakers' altogether!).

Good grief OP I can't believe they haven't thought this through! I would email now and say it's going to be very awkward doing an icebreaker where attraction will be drawn to you due to your skin colour and that you feel they should change the activity.
Perhaps they could do something more productive? I like to use activities where you work in small groups to do things like work out lots of alternative uses for a household object, things which are psychologically proven to get brains working creatively which is a great way to start a meeting.

It isn't remotely the same the other way round, if in fact that ever actually happened.

Nobody is fooled by the faux-naivety tone, either.

Yeah on reflection it is quite old fashioned and a bit cringey. I liked the idea someone else had about bringing in a favourite object. Far more interesting and hopefully not going to embarrass anyone or make them feel the butt of a joke.

Not the most consider-other-perspectives crowd… sending you grit OP. I don’t have your life experiences - but I can imagine that I would feel u comfortable in the circumstances you describe - especially if you’re having to deal with people awkwardly pretending they didn’t notice you were the only POC / over compensating + trying to demonstrate how un-racist they are etc etc.

I think it’s completely legitimate to request a rethink

So 125 people have to miss out on a fun activity because 1 person doesn’t like it?

You've completely missed the point- this is exactly part of the wider issue of not having a diverse workforce. It's not meaningless.

It isn't about 'like'. It's about the fact that this is othering and racist.

It's just a game asking for people's baby pictures. It's not racist. Leaving her out because she's black is! Many people are easily recognised by physical characteristics this isnt a hill to die on

Im fairly certain submitting a photo isnt compulsory

Also I sincerely doubt anyone enjoys this 'fun activity'.

Defending a shit icebreaker game that basically nobody enjoys in the face of racism is a weird hill to die on.

@Brefugee yes, I get your point about not having to read all the stupid, ignorant and racist posts that there have been here. But what I was meaning was what could BMnetters say (positively and more compassionately) that hasn't been said here?

Are you this stupid in real life ?

So 125 people have to miss out on a fun activity because 1 person doesn’t like it?

FFS.

Fun my arse. Doesn’t everyone hate this nonsense?

And yes, 125 people have to miss out on an at-best mildly amusing task to show some sensitivity twisted the only black employee who is uncomfortable with the task. Cry harder about it

*At the risk of sounding a bit Diane Abboty, likening blackness to gingerness is

1. rude
2. completely misunderstanding race and racism*

I hate to digress @LemonLymanDotCom I totally agree with you but Diane Abbott actually ^did* compare race to being a redhead so you definitely don’t sound like her.

Sorry. As you were

If all you have to say is to insult me then don’t bother, it’s humiliating for you.

I doubt those 125 people were a part of organising the event? Bloody hell.

It’s not ruining fun for 125 other people though is it? It’s awkward and uncomfortable for OP for obvious reasons, I guarantee it’ll be awkward and uncomfortable for others for not so obvious reasons and most people won’t give a shit. Very few people will be bothered about doing something different.

We had something similar once, and for various reasons I have no baby/child pictures. It is a daft idea that makes people feel quite ‘othered’ if they are the odd one out or the easily spottable one. And there are always a lot of unthinking colleagues who don’t get it and keep pestering as to why you haven’t complied or coo-ing over everyone who does have an easily obtainable cute pic and is happy to be asked personal questions about their childhood. So OP, do complain for yourself obviously but I bet there is at least a couple of others in the group who may not want or be able to produce a picture or for whom childhood memories aren’t a happy place.
A sensible manager/HR person might learn

I understand, OP. I’m not surprised it bothers you. It is othering, doesn’t fully include you and comes with a real risk of micro aggressions. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

Agree that this type of thing is old-fashioned and insensitive, for multiple reasons, including the OPs. I have a friend who's mum was in an orphanage till she aged out and does not have any pictures of herself before she was in her teens. This type of thing is also upsetting for her because the story of her childhood is distressing to her not something she wants to disclose to her coworkers.

Yes I understand that.. the 125 people wouldn’t care if there was something different, it’s just a mess around after all. But do you really think this ‘Activity’ was arranged to be racist? Or just something off the cuff.. it’s just baby photos ffs.