Work event.. left me out of the planning

[Notthattimeofthemonth]

We have a work day out next month and they have asked us to bring in a baby picture and they are going to guess who’s who to get us all networking.

I’m the only black person out of 126 people going so wouldn’t take them very long to guess who’s who.

im trying to calm down before I address this as I’m currently infuriated.

how on earth do I proceed with this in the correct way..

I agree about the abhorrent way Jewish people are and have been treated. But people of colour deal with racism all the time. My gorgeous friend was called a gorilla by some random. Just for being in the same place, at the same time and being black.

Whilst the intention wasn’t racist, the OPs discomfort is down to the pervasive and systemic racism in this country. If racism wasn’t a thing she wouldn’t need to think twice about it. But it is, we all know it is and HR should certainly be aware that it is.

This is just one example of, probably, thousands of times in the OPs life where she has been ‘othered’ and made to feel different. Like she she said, it leaves her second guessing herself and having to figure out if she broaches it or not. Work out if she’ll be viewed as difficult or precious or if they will get it and be supportive.

If she doesn’t broach it and it goes ahead she’s got to gear herself up for the possibility of, at best, awkwardness and at worst outright racism.

This is a whole load of mentally demanding and upsetting figuring out SHE now is forced to do, because of a lack of thought on the organisers part.

It’s really simple. If you are planning something like this you just need to put the ‘are there any parts of this that could in any way be excluding, othering or triggering?’ You won’t always spot everything but this is a very obvious one.

Sorry, just to be clear, the ‘but’ in that sentence should be an ‘and’. Antisemitism AND racism are sadly alive and kicking everywhere and both are abhorrent.

It’s not the act of picking the activity that is the problem here, it’s not viewing the event through an inclusivity lens. It’s the absence of thought that is the issue.

That’s the problematic bit and it’s because the organisers are white and so have never had to think about this stuff. So it’s their responsibility to view it through that lens and ensure inclusivity. If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

As a white person, it’s only recently that I’ve realised that simply not being racist and calling out racism, isn’t enough on its own. To be a better ally and to help tackle racism I’ve got to be proactive. Just like we, as women, need men to proactively tackle and fight misogyny.

Exactly. WTF is that 'but'??!!!!

Antisemitism is racism.

‘But people of colour deal with racism all the time. My gorgeous friend was called a gorilla by some random. Just for being in the same place, at the same time and being black.’

There is no hierarchy of racist hatred. Jews experience this all the time as do other groups. Right now, the streets of our cities have groups of people calling for the annihilation of the Jews… for being in the same place, at the same time & for being Jewish.

Racial hatred is racial hatred.

I really don't agree and I think blurring things like this is dangerous and disingenuous and can lead to a particularly nasty form of racism where people with the privilege of passing claim to be as victimised as those who face prejudice 24/7.

I have a number of Jewish friends and none of them could be easily identified in the street (or wherever) as Jewish. Most of them I had known for quite some time before it became clear they were Jewish. My accountant, who I'd know for a decade and had many a coffee and moan with, died suddenly some years ago and when I went to his funeral he turned out to have been Jewish. Black people are constantly exposed and visible for racists to see, 24/7 and it may not be a hierarchy but it's definitely not the same.

I'm all too aware of the horrific rise of anti-Semitism and how vulnerable and targeted some of my Jewish friends feel — but the fact that this feels different to the way things have been till now is an indication of how little racism they. had suffered until recently. Absolutely not saying what they are going through now is okay.

It's like all the bisexual people in straight relationships who think of themselves as LGB and as part of a minority while enjoying the privilege of passing as a straight person. I encountered a woman only a couple of weeks ago who has been married to a man in a monogamous relationship for more than 20 years, yet because she had a relationship with a woman when she was at university classifies herself as bisexual and wanted to come to a lesbian/ bisexual women's event. She talked about living with the stigma of being bi, ffs. Not having it.

This argument is what got Diane Abbott effectively chucked out of Labour isn't it? And she had to write an apology for.

I understand the argument but I think some Jews don't pass. Same as some black people do. So perhaps it's more nuanced than either side of the argument.

With the greatest of respect, it is the ‘privilege of passing’ that is the blurring, relativism & whataboutery that is dangerous & divisive. This allowed the acceptable persecution of some & not others to the place where genocide of many ethnic & political groups within the past 100 years.

i suggest that you ask your Jewish friends - & some of my best friends are Jewish - what everyday antisemitism has been as they have grown up, how everyday is the desecration of Jewish cemeteries, guarding of Jewish cultural events, safeguarding of Synagogues & schools, & the open attacks on Orthodox Jews in the street (particularly in Diane Abbot’s constituency). Ask them, their parents & grandparents what it has been like, & they may actually tell you about the everyday racism they face & the legacy of near genocide.

Racial hatred is racial hatred.
There is no hierarchy of suffering.

Diane Abbott hasn't been 'chucked out' of the Labour Party but I know what you mean. She's a Corbynite and had said various odd and unhelpful things over the years — as have most MPs. I mean, Starmer has said that some women have penises...

He's engaged in a Kinnock-style purge of the left and the worst zealots in order to look more attractive to those who want a more centre-facing party. The letter Abbott wrote was the means they used to suspend her. Lloyd Russell-Moyle, prime public example of Labour's misogyny, has been kiboshed by a well-timed allegation of something he is alleged to have done eight years ago. It's tactical. How do I know this? My Labour MP, who I'm canvassing with several times a week for the next five weeks, tells me.

I don't accept there's no hierarchy of suffering.

Stating 'There's no hierarchy of suffering' doesn't make it true, just as chanting 'Transwomen are Women' doesn't make that true. I would think better of you if you were to say 'I believe there is no hierarchy of suffering' rather than state it as fact. It would be more honest. Sadly, I think over-reaching in this way has a tendency to undermine whatever cause these authoritarian statement are used to support.

Insisting there is a hierarchy of suffering over and over again doesn't make it true either. It's an opinion, not a cold hard fact. Something it seems most people struggle to understand the difference between, these days.

But if you are going to insist on it, then I'd say this: There are still Jews alive today who lived through the Nazi Holocaust and were directly affected by it, as well as their families being indirectly affected by the removal of just one or two generations.

Compare that to the suffering of black people alive today in Britain who are separated by over 200 years from the abolition of slavery in the UK. On that basis I think it's a bit flimsy to argue that Black people automatically rank higher on this theoretical hierarchy of suffering than Jews do.

The whole idea of ranking or evaluating people by skin colour for any purpose whatsover is a pretty revolting concept anyway, and one that most developed countries have spent the last 50 years trying to eradicate.

So the experience of someone like Diane Abbott, who has experienced the most appalling and vile racist abuse on a week-to-week basis throughout her life because of the colour of her skin, is no more horrifying than (reaching here for an example from my friendship group) the secular Jewish Oxford-educated professor of my acquaintance whose father was a leading political figure? I've rarely heard him talk about experiencing anti-semitism in all the years I've known him. You're saying that his suffering is on the same level as Diane Abbot's because black people were enslaved 200 years ago and the Holocaust only happened 80 years ago?

Is that really what you're arguing? Do you have any idea how racist that looks?

I don't think you can distil this down to examples of individual people pitted against one another in a race to be the most hard done by. I could equally find examples of black people who have been born into wealth and privilege, have gone to Oxbridge and have stellar careers and compare them to someone who has suffered predudice and disadvantage all their lives who isn't black.

It's futile going down those rabbit holes.

And while I don't doubt that DA has received huge amounts of racist abuse in her time simply because she's black, I think it's certainly true that she attracts huge amounts of abuse or derision for other reasons that are nothing to do with her skin colour and everything to do with the stuff than comes out of her mouth.You could say the same for Jacob Rees Mogg, or Boris Johnson in that respect.

If race were the only, or the main driving factor in abusing DA then surely all high profile black and non-white MPs would report similar levels of abuse. Do they?

I'm not going to quibble with you.

I support my Jewish friends while also sympathising with suffering Palestinians, which means that some of the Jewish people I know feel I don't support them passionately enough. For not reviling Jewish people and Israel I'm blocked and insulted by lots of acquaintances who are out there calling for Israel to be wiped off the map. Anything that makes the pro-Israel case look racist is deeply troubling, and suggesting that black people don't suffer as much as Jews because slavery was 200 years ago is frankly appalling. I'm going to leave it there. I have to get ready to go canvassing now.

And
Many of Jewish faith dress in a way that identifies faith.
And
Diane - clearly not a deep thinker.

Being Jewish isn't a race though. You can be black and Jewish. White and Jewish.

My best friend is Jewish. Her kids are Jewish. Her husband immigrated as a child from Israel.

She is well aware that her kids and my kids are not treated the same. Mine is black. He can't hide that.

My best friend is Egyptian Jewish. She says herself that being black means she’s the lowest of the low in the Jewish community of the UK. That many synogogues, Jews and even rabbis reject her family point of sight. She also experiences point of sight racism from everyone else for being black - many assume she’s muslim and she’s scared of telling them her real religion as the backlash against Jews in the UK has been focussed on people like her.

White Jews need to sit down about racism and stop muddying the waters & let their black counterparts speak up about the racism they experience. Until they do nobody’s going to take them seriously.

I think it is classed as a race as well as a religion actually. While Jews can be Polish or Ethiopian or Iraqi (as can Christians) I do think that being Jewish is often as much a racial characteristic as a religious one. You can certainly look very stereotypically Jewish in terms of physical facial characteristics, whereas I don't think you can look very Muslim or very Christian or very Hindu.

No, it’s not. That’s what Hitler thought. But there is no single racial characteristic that unifies the entire Jewish population. Ethiopian and Syrian Jews (and their Hindu discendants in India) look very different to Eastern European Jews.

A mistype. Which I then realised how it sounded so corrected myself. Problem?

I KNOW!! The point I’m making is that racism is in the PRESENT. Not the past. We need to look at it all. Not get into ‘whataboutary’. But racism is not a thing of the past. People of colour have to deal with it ALL the time.

The point I was making was that racism is still happening. ALL the time. I wasn’t comparing. Any sublimation, oppression and hatred towards any group of people is wrong.

I don’t think hierarchy is helpful. There are differences though. Doesn’t make any of it more or less OK. Doesn’t say anything about the level of suffering or distress caused. Understanding the differences helps.