Work event.. left me out of the planning

[Notthattimeofthemonth]

We have a work day out next month and they have asked us to bring in a baby picture and they are going to guess who’s who to get us all networking.

I’m the only black person out of 126 people going so wouldn’t take them very long to guess who’s who.

im trying to calm down before I address this as I’m currently infuriated.

how on earth do I proceed with this in the correct way..

@HidingHereForTomorrow no I don’t think it was arranged to be racist, I think it’s a very badly thought out activity that can easily be replaced with something else.

I didn’t claim they were?

YANBU. It's othering and runs the risk of microaggressions. I'd raise it with your senior, pointing out that there seems to be an outstanding training need here in terms of equality and diversity.

this thread is wild!

of course it’s fucking stupid to do an exercise that is going to have 125 white babies and one black. Ffs.

Whilst it’s unlikely to have been deliberate and isn’t racist, is it a demonstration of how much people really don’t consider diversity in the workplace, not just race.

They just trot out the same old shite and the perspective applied is zero, why would you need to consider race when your race and the race of 99.5% of your colleagues is white after all.

embarrassing for all involved!

@Notthattimeofthemonth, you are absolutely right to be annoyed by this. I'm guessing it wasn't done maliciously, but it's a classic example of the kind of things that organisations get very badly wrong when it comes to EDI.

I was about to say that I would definitely raise this politely with the organisers - but maybe that's easy for me to say because I'm white, and I'm guessing that raising it as the one black person on the team might be a different experience.

And I'm also lucky to work for an organisation that does put a lot of work into tangible improvements to EDI, and the organisers would genuinely want to learn from their mistake. So I can see it might not be as easy as 'Oh, just tell them'.

Ignore the people telling you you're overreacting. You're not.

I would message whoever was involved in organising it - I would hope (!) that it's nothing more than a thoughtless oversight, and if so then whoever dreamt it up will be mortified when it's pointed out to them (but they won't do it again!)

I hope you're not the only person in your team who has noticed. I like the idea of printing out a few baby pictures of black celebrities to put in alongside your own.

I am gobsmacked they think this is ok OP! They should definitely change the activity. It’s an outdated, cringe activity anyway…

Even putting race aside - what if someone grew up in care or had a difficult childhood and has no baby pics? It’s just excluding people unnecessarily.

I think this is a shortsighted idea, skin colour and race will draw attention and people will make guesses/comments based just on that. And there are lots of reasons why people might not have baby photos - fleeing abuse, family reasons, adoption, moving countries etc. which shouldn’t have to be discussed if not wanted. It’s not a brilliant idea from a HR department

Aside from the issue you raise OP which i get I don't get how people are going to be expected to identify 100+ people from a baby pic. Are you gonna spend 6h doing it? A team of 5 or 10 maybe but that is just bonkers. To be honest some people just don't think at all, whether it's about the one black person or the non-drinker or that not everyone is available at 6pm due to caring responsibilities or whatever else. Sigh.

Maybe a bring your servant to work day ?

This icebreaker is a lot more ND and a subset of disabilities friendly than many I have encountered. I can see why they thought it would be a good idea. For once I would not feel so othered or even be fully excluded by the plans.

you are right op that it does have unintended consequences and that isn’t acceptable.

these things are hard. They almost always get them wrong and exclude someone in the process. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak up. I never do because I don’t want to draw attention to being disabled in the workplace unless absolutely necessary.

I am white, OP, and get it. I am sorry they were thoughtless/lazy in their thinking.

It sounds like a very thoughtless activity, and I can see what the OP would be upset. I’d bring it up with HR in a non-confrontational way because it’s probably an unintentional mistake but an important learning point that needs to be addressed.

If HR dont scrap that activity and come up with something else, then I’d raise it formally with your line manager, as it us important people start taking these things seriously.

good luck OP, and YANBU!

tell us you're white without telling us you're white

No I think you’re right. I have missed the point. But I’d like to understand why. I posted again to say I think the activity is old fashioned. It feels a bit tone deaf rather than racist to me, but I am a white woman and I fully accept that often these things go over my head. I’d really like to understand why it’s racist. Genuinely I think it may well be racist but I’m too ‘white’ to see why if that makes sense. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to learn. I do, I really do!

It takes thoughtless to a new level, it really does (and I bet they'll take a while to figure out why).

A quiet word with HR and get them to do something equally cringe-worthy but which doesn't single anyone out inappropriately.

I can absolutely see that this is infuriating, and while I agree with you it probably stems from thoughtlessness rather than malice, it's still, in my opinion, racist. The whole point of incorporating EDI into our workplaces is so that this kind of thing doesn't happen.

I see from later in the thread that there may still be a chance to head this off at the pass, and wish you luck with making that happen! If it was my workplace, where there is an EDI committee, I would raise it with the chair of the EDI committee and they would escalate it as a matter of urgency. And as a middle manager, if I managed to let something like this slip through I would absolutely want it to be pointed out to me, and would appreciate the person who did so.

I’m black and this is a ridiculous email to send.

Frankly this doesn’t offend me at all and I’ve been in a similar situation where I was one of 2 black employees one male and one female and it was easy to figure out who is who and everyone had a laugh.

If OP is offended reach out to the organizer and tell them to look into other ice breaker simple not this ridiculous email. intent is critical and as OP said her colleagues are all nice people so why escalate things to this level for something so trivial.

I actually think it's the opposite. Not everyone sees race, and the organisers perhaps just planned it without thinking, because someone's race isn't a big deal to them.

YANBU. I think if they aren’t mortified when you bring it up then they’re not just thoughtless. Pretty poor that they’re HR and didn’t think it through. They may not be racist but it does sound like your department needs diversifying. 1 black person out of 126 is poor seeing as nearly 4% of the U.K. is black.
The people you work with are clearly so sheltered they have not had to consider people with different coloured skin before. That needs changing.

Bugger! I quoted the wrong quote!!!! It was meant to be quoting you @sweetpickle2
Please do help me understand why it is racist. I can see it’s not right but I don’t quite get why….

Race would be a big deal if they were black, or had family, friends and loved ones who were black. Saying someone’s race isn’t a big deal is something someone would say if they’d never had to think about their own race.

Do you know the organizer? If yes why not just reach out directly and ask if they can change the ice breaker due to the obvious reason that you’re the only black person?

you don't get it if you're not always excluded from everything by default.

when you are excluded by people's thoughtlessness, whether it's race or a disability or something else, it hits differently.

the "flesh coloured" or "skin tone" clothing that comes in one colour.
the "run don't walk" instructions when you're in a wheelchair.

it's like a punch on your arm. one punch is fine. when it becomes the fifteenth relentless punch of the day it hurts.

not to mention, it's literally an activity supposed to include people. and instead, it's excluding them. for many reasons.

there is also the issue of who the f they're hiring in their company if only 1 in 125 people is black. on average there should be 5 people minimum if it's reflective of the general population.