Work event.. left me out of the planning

[Notthattimeofthemonth]

We have a work day out next month and they have asked us to bring in a baby picture and they are going to guess who’s who to get us all networking.

I’m the only black person out of 126 people going so wouldn’t take them very long to guess who’s who.

im trying to calm down before I address this as I’m currently infuriated.

how on earth do I proceed with this in the correct way..

My team did this once and I had to point out that not everyone on the team celebrated Christmas. The manager was horrified she'd not thought of that. She went and spoke to the person who said they'd be happy to take part with a picture of a Christmas tree from their local town as they didn't have one of their own.

White skinned people have historically been the oppressors. Brown skinned people the oppressed. The viewing of black people as ‘less than’ is a result of this history, meaning that every day, people of colour get treated differently just in the basis of their skin tone and heritage.

As white skinned people we can never truly know what that’s like. There is no comparison. On matters of the experience of women we wouldn’t tolerate a man telling us about a similar situation and minimising our experience so let’s not do the same to people of colour eh?

This is bad form. My work talked about this and I pointed out hardly any black people so would be a bit obvious. The idea was ditched. I think you need to speak up or confide in a colleague who can.

I get it. You are not over-reacting.

You really think the people she works alongside would actually laugh ‘at her expense’. Why?!!

I think people thinking this isn't a big deal are not looking at the big picture.

When things like this come up, those of us who've experienced racism and othering have a lifetime of emotional baggage coming into these situations.

It's not as simple as having red hair. It's being followed in shops, being nervous around cops, hearing racist comments, being called racist names.

This just reminds of us of the fact we are treated differently.

For a forum with lots of so called feminists who are passionate about equality there's a shocking amount of white women still struggling to grasp struggles that don't pertain to them.

Great Gods above. It's bad enough having event organizers come up with the "one interesting factual about yourself" nonsense, but to actually suggest it bottom up? Frying pan, fire.

And yet many people who do not celebrate Christmas in the traditional sense because of their faith/beliefs still make it a special day in their house fir family to gather ir a meal to be shared. They could have shared that if they chose. We should celebrate difference not flatten every difference and ignore customs.

Dear HR
Would it be possible to suggest we use a picture of something else in the ice breaker? Perhaps of our slippers, a favourite childhood toy, or an image of a favourite place to visit?
The current suggestion of a baby photo singles me out, which I'm sure is not the intention.
Thanks.

I’ve seen this before at work. Everyone can guess everyone immediately - it’s not really a challenge. It’s supposed to be fun. My office had one man. The one boy baby was him.

Is it? Do adults not do the same things?
'Is that your brother/sister with you?'
'Oh those 1960s knitted baby clothes! My gran was always knitting those hats.'
'Where did you grow up? It looks like....? '
'Definitely Jane- you can see her smile and dimples even at that age.'
'I had a coat /bike/doll just like that.'
'My mum and her brother looked just like these two here.'
'Aah this little girl looks really happy.'
'Ooh this one looks bad-tempered, look at that scowl.'

It's always the same stuff.

Am I the only one that's really bad at this game? I can't even tell the boy and girl babies apart 😕 (unless they are dressed head to toe in pink or blue, but all the pics I've seen have been very ambiguous)

Actually, since you ask. there is a very strong genetic connection with red hair and Celtic DNA, so you could argue that they were.

The Celts were enslaved by the Romans and murdered in their millions. The Celts were also enlaved by the Icelandic people.

Jews have a strong red hair gene too and they were enslaved by the Romans and the Egyptians, as Israelites and driven out of their homeland. Slavery isn't something that was invented by white people for the subjugation of black people. Black Africans were capturing and enslaving other Black Africans long before they ever saw a white man. And guess what? They still are.

Please don't patronise me. I understand the basic preachings of Critical Race Theory but as it is just a theory I am not obliged to accept it all as hard fact.

You say it'd be easy to guess but we did one of these recently and no one correctly guessed our asian manager in team of culturally diverse but racially monochrome people. Not that it matters - it just highlights that the diversity needs improving in a very obvious but fun way.

It’s bloody awful - a micro aggression at best - and the excuses being offered on this thread are shocking.

They did this in my sons primary class once. Didn't bother him or me at all.

Would I expect the majority to be excluded in the name of extremely misplaced ' inclusion'? Absolutely not.

Would a person with ginger hair and freckles moan about this game?? Doubt it.

@HeadDeskHeadDesk is that true about the Jewish redhead thing? Might have a look into that!

<sigh>

Havent we been through this.

@YaMuvva I wouldn't know.

I was answering the Op.

I don't here reading everyone's responses.

Off to continue with my actual life now

Bye love

Because they're so ignorant, do you mean?

https://www.irishpeople.ie/the-irish-slave-trade-the-forgotten-white-slaves-part-1-of-3/

It would appear so

It doesn't always work like that. A place I worked did this and everyone identified a certain baby as me, it wasn't it was a young woman who was at least 20 years younger than me and her photo was black and white from a professional photographer and everyone thought they were being clever as they could see the name and address of the photographer and it was where I grew up. They didn't realise she had been born there but grew up elsewhere.

It isn't the same as someone being the only black person which will make this guessing game pretty pointless.

No I didn't feel as though you were addressing me personally. Did I need to, in order to be allowed to respond?

I don't like the 'white people do this' or 'white people think like that' or 'white people always say xyz.' It's very Diane Abbott isn't it? That sweeping generalisation as if white people are one homogenous mass with identical opinions. It's not acceptable to speak about black people that way and if a white person did, they'd be jumped on for it, quite rightly.

If you are going to make the point about some white people, then at least say some.

And I would never say 'skin colour doesn't matter to me.' Not because it does, but because I am wise to that particular CRT modern-day trip wire.

I would never say 'But I can't be racist because I have black friends.'

a) see above, the CRT trip wire.

b) because I don't have a single black friend.

One woman at our event submitted a picture of when she was 9! Most not genderless newborn shots. Most people submit something that is funny, messy, in a costume. The one man was a toddler dressed as a cowboy. Another woman was toddler in a chicken suit (boss). Recalling there was a woman of South Asian heritage, clearly identifiable - most people looked like their photo - eyes, hair, skin tone, expression - but that wasn’t the point. The oldest person in office - photo was black & white!! It’s not a “guess who” contest. It’s supposed to be a conversation starter.

Well no one is born with freckles so you'd just need a baby photo where you didn't have much hair or with a hat on. Not the same as being black.