Work event.. left me out of the planning

[Notthattimeofthemonth]

We have a work day out next month and they have asked us to bring in a baby picture and they are going to guess who’s who to get us all networking.

I’m the only black person out of 126 people going so wouldn’t take them very long to guess who’s who.

im trying to calm down before I address this as I’m currently infuriated.

how on earth do I proceed with this in the correct way..

It's really thick of them and you are very much being left out because you can't participate in the activity the way others are going to be. I hate team building events for this reason. I can't walk very well and have lost count at the number of times people have suggested activities that will involve walking as part of team building.

They didn't think, OP, and I can understand why you feel hurt and angry. It's a kind of blind, thoughtless racism and a real fail on their part.

I would contact the organiser with: 'Not sure why this issue wasn't considered when you chose the icebreaker, but as the only black person in the organisation I'd feel more comfortable if you would find an alternative discussion topic.'

You're right, it's really not on. Just because they didn't mean to be racist doesn't excuse them for being racist. There's no excuse.

@Notthattimeofthemonth - they get it on Reddit!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/blackladies/comments/r0hez2/when_they_wanna_have_a_baby_picture_guessing/?sort=old

Submit a picture of a white baby and watch them squirm.

Do you know who came up with the idea?

Send them an email with a pic of you as a baby with a comment of “Err.. how’s this going to work then?”

CC your manager!

1. Left out can also mean not considered. Which is what has happened here.
2. No it wouldn't be the same. Ginger hair is not a protected characteristic.

Why should OP have to do the work to mask her employer's lack of diligence?

Oh no OP, I can see how this is upsetting for you. It would also be upsetting for people who don't have baby photos. I wouldn't be able to participate for that reason. It's a stupid idea and they should choose a different ice breaker instead that doesn't need to consider diversity or peoples upbringing. Obv a privileged person came up with this who doesn't know their privilege.

However you choose to address this just make sure to not get fobbed of with 'feel free to draw yourself as a baby and let people guess'.

The whole idea is problematic.

I don't see this as anything other than a fun thing to do op. I actually feel sorry you feel like this. Having said that, I accept we all have different personalities. If it was me I'd be inclined to say something like there are no points for guessing which one is mine.

OP asking a bunch of primary white women this question was never going to go well.

My ds is adopted and I don't have any baby pics. He'd be bringing a picture of a black kid who looks exactly like him. Lol

Same for me and my siblings. Very few pics of kids removed to care. Also mixed race. I suspect they'd figure out who I was pretty quickly.

It's othering and it sucks especially for HR! Who thought to do this?

45+ years of racism-awareness in schools and organisations, colour-blind casting on TV and in movies and still this...

@Trainsplanesautomobiles maybe, but not sure most people would if they have felt disadvantaged because of their race many times throughout their life.

It would be exactly the same in the sense that it would be very, very easy to identify them. Do you think many people would say they were justified in feeling hurt, left out or not considered?

It would also be fairly obvious by the style and age of the photo if one member of staff was 65 and all the others were under 30. Do you think they'd be justified in feeling hurt, left out or not considered?

The game is going to be fairly easy anyway. Most people are fairly recognisable as babies unless they are only weeks old.

What if the company is in an area where the majority of people at white? What are they supposed to do, not hire the people applying because they at white and leave a position empty?

You have no idea what you would feel like unless you are black.

It's pointless to pretend you would be fine with something like this when you lack the life experience.

Well this thread shows exactly how white people still don't understand racism. It's sickening. I'm sure all of you here would say 'skin colour does not matter to me. I have black friends' etc without questioning how ingrained it still is in society.

I'd object not based on skin colour but based on the fact that I hate cringy ice breakers

Ginger hair is the same thing? Really? Is it really?

First of all babies hair colour can change. Second of all please don't compare being ginger to being black.

It's so bloody insulting.

I don't have any baby photos. This type of 'game' excludes all sorts of people. If they want to do something to get people talking, they could use baby photos of famous people?

Same 😬,this icebreaker is pretty common and I think is pretty outdated. Not much thought has gone into it at all. Not everyone will have a baby photos, especially those who have been through the care system or have fled from another country?

I would probably just go a long with it anyway, it’s just one of those things (that’s pretty pointless).

@Notthattimeofthemonth NRTFT, but such events are famous for shortcuts like copying what someone who cared did for a successful event before lockdown.
If there are 126 people attending, I can't imagine that they'll use more than a dozen of the pictures, so most people would be excluded.

I am saying that the only ginger person would have the same issue with the guessing game. People with very red hair tend to have it from birth, it doesn't really change colour much, it might get slightly darker or lighter with age but it's still pretty obviously ginger.

And someone 20 or 30 years older than the rest of their colleagues would have the same issue with this guessing game.

That is in no way saying that being ginger is comparable, in general, to being black.

I work in EDI and see this as one of the unthinking, ridiculousnesses that happens all the time in our organisation. You are right to be cross. I would certainly raise it in advance and maybe suggest 10+ red herring pictures are added in the interests of diversity and to prevent awkwardness.

I'm not concerned about this is in my workplace as I live in a place where the majority of people are white... Maybe this is the case where this person works? Men in my profession are also a rarity, should managers have even more of a shortage of my health profession because they only want to hire 50% men 50% women?

I wouldn't say that, no. And I don't have a single black friend.

'White people don't understand racism' is a bold statement. You mean ALL white people?

These comments make me feel sick. Our poster shouldn't have to raise these issues with the organisers because that in itself makes them feel singled out all over again. The organisers are at a major fault here but it is also widely indicative of the prevailing culture in most workplaces. I am so sorry this has happened to you and that you have also been subjected to such thoughtless comments here too.