Work event.. left me out of the planning

[Notthattimeofthemonth]

We have a work day out next month and they have asked us to bring in a baby picture and they are going to guess who’s who to get us all networking.

I’m the only black person out of 126 people going so wouldn’t take them very long to guess who’s who.

im trying to calm down before I address this as I’m currently infuriated.

how on earth do I proceed with this in the correct way..

What do you mean by "not everyone sees race"? Of course people see it, unless they are blind, in which case they wouldn't be participating in this kind of ice breaker anyway.

Some people might not think about race or consider it to be a "big deal", but that is typically evidence of their own privilege - they don't think about it because they have never had to think about it. That is the very essence of white privilege. That doesn't mean that they don't see race, it just means that they're blissfully unaware of the structural racism that is evident in so many parts of our society.

Ignorance and a lack of awareness are not sufficient justification in my view for choosing an icebreaker that will inevitably be "othering" for some participants. The fact that they may have planned it without thinking is really no excuse... they should have been thinking, so why weren't they?

I am white so I can't say i know how you feel but in similar circs I'd be incredulously angrily amused....also a bit eyeroll because FFS who still does this crap any more? I think I'd raise it before the event if I was feeling kind or you could walk in with a tiger grin and pin up a picture of yourself then let the organiser realise what they had done 😈

Most staff are brown/black and I was in the minority. It's the same thing! I wish people would stop being so offended. 🙄

I did this ice breaker once and was immediately identified because I was the only one young enough to have a coloured photograph 🤣

Lol!

And in my case I was identified first as I'm the only red head. 😆

I am sorry I think you are over thinking the baby photo - I would be more concerned about the lack of diversity at your work place though!

I think YABU. We did this at work recently and most pictures were very easy to guess due to distinguishing features (ginger hair, beauty spot etc). It's an ice breaker, not supposed to be hard, just to show a cute/funny photo.

Oops, busted!
I have had two of these events foist on me in the past six months (one at work) and have on both occasions provided a baby photo of my half sister: nobody has been any the wiser (and some people have even guessed "correctly" that it was my photo).
But we don't have any black staff members : in your company's case it really doesn't seem to have been thought through properly........... I like the idea of providing five photos of black babies: choose celebs and you don't even have to include one of you if you want to really make the point.

Incase the previous 10 pages haven't made it clear enough-

OP is the only Black employee of 125. There is a excruciating lack of diversity in a company that supposedly crows about its EDI efforts. Then, to top it off, the company wants to indulge in a stupid icebreaker that will simply highlight the lack of diversity and other the Black individual.

Telling the OP it's a harmless game and that they need to stop getting offended is a microaggression. Racism doesn't have to be loud and intentional to be racist- microwaggressions are often subtle and unintentional.

Perhaps that’s the silver lining. When OP is the only black baby amongst a sea of white it’s a conversation for sure. She will without a doubt be the first one chosen and it might make everyone realise the lack of diversity!

No. 126 people can take part in an alternative 'fun' activity that doesn't single out the one person whose skin is a completely different tone to the other 125.
This isn't a difficult concept to grasp.

Good humour need not be subservient and of course she doesn’t “have” to do anything she doesn’t want to do.

I hate this icebreaker… it’s a bad one for many reasons including the OP’s situation. It can also be bad for anyone…who’s had a fire and lost all their baby pictures, was adopted as a young child, in a foster home as a baby, or don’t have any for other reasons.

(I don’t have any of me as a baby because my sister took all the family photos after my mum died).

There will also be a fair amount of people that won’t be able to provide one because they don’t want to be bothered with digging one out of the shoebox in the back of their closet.

Remember not everyone’s life started in the digital age

If this was about sexism in the workplace or the "othering" of a female employee amongst 126 men and the advice was to "address it with good humour" there would be outrage (rightly so) on Mumsnet.

Whatever happened to the concept that people go to work to work. With none of this stupid games and forced participation for laughs and jollity nonsense. Maybe once a quarter a bonding trip to the pub for those who wish to go.

I truly cannot stand this sort of crap. And it's usually an HR nightmare as well.

I disagree. I think this is thoughtless and one of the many ways people of colour are made to feel ‘othered’. Whilst not done in a mean spirited way, I do think it is not considerate of diversity.

Incase the previous 10 pages haven't made it clear enough wow ok @sweetpickle2 i really wanted to have a conversation to aid my understanding but you’re just being rude. I’m not even gonna read your shitty post now.

Sooooo ignorant…, 🤦🏼‍♀️

Massively overthinking

Sorry, it isn’t. Mumsnet is remarkably tone deaf when it comes to EEDI and work.
I run team days and events and would never suggest such an activity. Not just because of race but because some people don’t have baby photos. You have two choices, you could suggest they scrap the activity but that would definitely shine the spotlights on you as pp would probably work out you’d objected or participate and also point out that this was ill thought through.
I hope you’re ok, the initial event and some of the responses here must have been quite jarring.

A poor idea in so many ways... people could have an identifying facial birth mark or an obvious disability... it's not simply about colour of skin

1. They haven't left you out.

2. It would be the same for any white employee if they were the only one with bright ginger hair.

Supply three or four pictures of other black babies among your family or friends, so they still have to guess.

Bravo! Absolutely, nothing worse than enforced ‘don’t we all love each other’. When I was younger I’d choose to go to the pub. As I’m older now I prefer to go home. During the day, I’d rather get on with my job than be forced into bonding activities that only mean I have fewer hours to get the job done.

'Back in the day' we used to do these all the time. However, we've stopped doing them, as we're aware if you're the only person of colour, you'll stand out for the wrong reasons. We also stopped as if photo's could also be black and white or have that 70s orange tinge which again, could single people out.

There are so many ice breakers, dropping the baby photo one, is no loss.