Work event.. left me out of the planning

[Notthattimeofthemonth]

We have a work day out next month and they have asked us to bring in a baby picture and they are going to guess who’s who to get us all networking.

I’m the only black person out of 126 people going so wouldn’t take them very long to guess who’s who.

im trying to calm down before I address this as I’m currently infuriated.

how on earth do I proceed with this in the correct way..

They may genuinely have suggested this without thought, so you think that's what happened?

Provide pictures of 10 black babies so you are still included.

I honestly think you are overreacting here.
It’s One activity to get people talking.

These things aren’t really about guessing who’s who, it’s about cooing over baby pictures.

Do you think they are being racist ?

Definitely overreacting x

I believe it’s a genuine mistake as I work with a very nice bunch of people. It’s just hilarious as we have a huge chat on EDI prior and it’s evident we have absolutely no EDI in any of our teams.

Ask them to chose a different ice breaker if you are upset about it.

I think you may be overthinking - the point of these "ice breakers" is not the puzzle of working out who is who but to get people talking. It doesn't matter if they can identify you straight away (and if it does bother you, just find a photo where you are very indistinct/heavily dressed up/behind view at a distance). Actually if you are instantly identifiable you are more likely to have people coming up to you and remarking on your photo.

Your title is misleading, they haven't left you out, they are including you. How many people are taking part, maybe the organiser doesn't know how many black people will be there.

This probably isn’t the best place for me to ask. My mistake

Does it matter if people can identify you quickly? Surely it’s just supposed to be a type of ice breaker to spark conversation, not a big deal. I have taken part in things like this before and also have a physical feature that has been apparent since I was a baby, meaning that I’m easily identifiable. It doesn’t make any difference to anything.

Dear HR and Organiser of the event.

Can you explain your thinking on this for the one black person? Do I have to sit through 125 people saying 'ooh which one is you' or 'well, no need to network with you, you are obviously the one black baby' or what? I'm genuinely confused how this helps networking!

Many thanks

OP'

No not at all. This is utterly brainless of them.

Jesus Christ, OP you need the Black Mumsnetters topic, people here don't get it.

It is problematic because it will draw a lot of attention to OP and it will be awkward for her. There is the potential for people to have a little laugh at her expense because of her skin colour. Just because it's not maliciously meant doesn't mean it's okay and shouldn't be challenged.

Hi OP - could you please clarify whether you mean you've been left out of the planning because you were supposed to be involved in planning this event?

Or did you mean because the planned ice breaker is thoughtless, because it singles you out on grounds of skin colour?

I assume you mean the latter, but wanted to double check. If so, I think you should raise this with the event organisers, explain why and suggest a different icebreaker. For example, each person could be asked to give a one sentence interesting fact about themselves and everyone could try to guess which fact goes with which. person.

In my case I am the oldest member of the team so my baby photos pre-date colour photography, and it would be easy for everyone else to identify me.

Many years ago at a previous workplace we had a guess the baby competition and we all identified the youngest member of the team because hers was the only colour photo

I do see why this has upset you. And presumably it would also be the same if there was only one person with red hair on your team. Or only one person with a visible disability. I think they just haven't thought it through in terms of how it might single some people out.

2 options really. Raise it ahead of time, or see how it pans out and give it as a feedback point after the event. It is a rubbish ice breaker and networking activity. Do you believe it was done intentionally? Does the person organising know there is only 1 black employee attending? Is it being organised internally?

YANBU. It's thoughtless at best.

It's the unconscious racism in our society. I would raise it - and ask them to rethink. They should be fairly mortified but it will be really good learning for them without too much pain aside from some embarrassment. It would defo get raised at our place. We are not that diverse racially and we are committed to learning how to spot this kind of thing in our own actions. So our organisation would be glad you pointed out the error.

I feel like the issue here is not the ice breaker (although incredibly insensitive and bordering on racist) but the lack of diversity in your company! Shocking!

And yes maybe move this to black mumsnetter board because lots of people don't get it and are already either pretty ignorant or defensive (which says a fair bit)

Tell them

As I am white I have no idea if this is ok or not but it does seem to bother you so there must be some reason for that.
There is a Black Mumsnetters area so maybe ask on there, you might get some more useful answers

Personally, I'd take in a picture of a white baby, and then let them squirm as they try to ask "is that really you" without actually asking it. To which the correct answer is "Yes. Why where do you think I really come from ?"

But that's because I am old and fed up to the back teeth of casual misogyny, racism and ageism, and don't see why I should be the one to blush.

Incidentally, there would be no way for anyone to know if anyone else was using a spurious photograph. Which suggests the event has been planned by a fluffy HR department.