AIBU to think that bathing your kids once a week is not 'neglect'.

[ThisWillBeInteresting01]

This is spurred on by another threat about someone struggling to keep their house clean. They mentioned that their kids are bathed once a week. This caused a lot of negativity amongst posters, with some comments calling bathing your kids once a week 'neglect'. This surprised me!!

My DC is 4 and has on average 2 baths a week (and yes, sometimes that means 1 a week). It has never been part of our bedtime routine - it gets them het up rather than calming them down. Their hair is washed once a week in term time after swimming class (v long hair as per DC's request, which takes an age to wash and dry). On holidays we once went 3 weeks without washing their hair. Hair was not smelly and looked lovely throughout.
My DC is not smelly, not dirty and most definitely not neglected! They have clean clothes, tidy brushed hair, are very popular at school, and have a generally nice life. (They also have a miraculous ability to somehow stay clean even when eating bowls of bolognaise and poking around in the dirt at school, which is helpful 🙏. Obviously if/when they do actually get covered in mud I wash them!).

I did some poking around and the American Academy of Dermatology say that children below pre-teens do not need more than 1-2 baths a week as long as they're not actively dirty/smelly.
https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

So is it really that bad not to bathe your children very often?

YABU - Children are dirty and sticky, more washing please!

YANBU - As long as they're not stinking up the bus then it's fine.

Decades ago we were only bathed once a week, we survived, was i neglected ? No. We only had one bath a week because we only had a coal fire, no central heating and no double glazing, the houses had frost on the inside of the windows during winter, far to cold to have a bath every night.

With you OP. Nurses on the ward when dd was born advised 1-2 x bath a week. Daily for children under 10 is not required, unless obviously muddy/suncream covered. At that age they don’t perspire the amount adults do for one.

That was like a religion in our house. Sunday night bath, nails cut, fringe trimmed...

Wow - you sound very worked up. Maybe go and have a nice calming bath?

No this is just utter crap

I think the voting might be confused by the header and then the different question you actually asked.
I don't think a bath once a week is neglect, but I do think kids should probably be cleaned more often than that.
They might not have obvious dirt on them but they still sweat and poo, and seven days worth of build up is a bit rank.

I shower daily (or skip a day if I’m just slobbing at home) but that means full body wash (yep shower gel on the vulva as well!), shampoo, condition and Mitchum. I never wear a top that touches the armpits twice.

My kids bathe every other day and in between face/hand wash and wet wipe on the bum.

Bedding changed every other weekend.

I think we have the right balance.

It sounds like they probably aren't doing what a lot of kids do if they only need a bath once a week. At 4 mine spent a lot of time outside playing in mud, sandpits etc. I assume you wash sun cream off when they wear it?
Mine didn't have a bath every single day at that age but definitely needed to most days even I they didn't have their hair washed.

It’s not always neglect but it is in some cases- if you have a few children some can get by on once a week others will need more but if all only get washed once a week then you’re neglecting the grubby one that attracts food/ always gets dirty playing football etc. At the swimming pool the lifeguard has had to step in to stop how long some kids are taking showering, their parents do two shampoos and I sometimes wonder is that them done for the week. And no, it’s not less well off parents not being able to do it properly at home.

Although I only had a bath once a week as a child I was taught how to do a strip wash every day.

I shower every day now because it wakes me up and loosens my joints - not because I feel dirty.

I remember as a child visiting grandparents and other relatives who didn't have a bathroom, just a tin bath to be filled by hand. Many of the men were miners so would really need a good wash at the end of their shift. Given the palaver involved in filling a tin bath with hot water, I doubt the rest of the family were able to do the same. I don't recall thinking any of them were smelly or disgusting.

It's not neglect. But doing the bare minimum for your children before you slip into neglect isn't great care.

I will 😃

I’m not sure neglect is the right word but it’s pretty disgusting. I wouldn’t wash myself once a week so why on earth would I do that to my children. Do you not love the feeling of being clean after a shower and putting clean pyjamas on and getting into clean fresh sheets? If you like it, then so will your kids. Kids get pretty gross in the course of an average day. Fingernails usually have dirt under them, faces might have food on them. They’ve been to the toilet several times. It all adds up. Nothing wrong with a 5 minute shower every day. I usually shower twice a day in the hot months or if I’ve been particularly active. Can’t even imagine sending a child to bed dirty. It’s lazy.

I personally think it’s gross but you carry on. Young kids don’t always wipe properly after the toilet, they are covered in sunscreen and filth from the garden. A bath or shower every night is needed I think

A long time ago, under a different name I got ripped apart for not bathing my kids daily. That children must be washed daily or SS should be called and my children removed level of ripping. I carried on bathing my kids every 3-4 days, less often occasionally.

Several years later, I got ripped apart again after asking how to address things with an older relative who had been staying with us for several weeks and had neither a bath nor a shower in that time and noticeably smelled bad and the aforementioned unwashed kids were starting to complain. I had provided shower seats, grab handles, non slip mats etc. But apparently it was still my fault.

That's MN for you. Double standards all over the place.

This

Up until puberty, DD would have bath/shower 3x week tops. During puberty , everyday

I always put my kids in the bath each night when they were younger. Unless you just have them plonked in front of a screen to stay clean then most kids will benefit from a wash and it sets good bedtime routine habits.

I voted YABU. Having said that, I don’t consider it neglect, particularly when looking at this in isolation with no other signs of neglect. But I do think baths or showers are needed more than once a week, kids can grotty very quickly and a quick wipe down definitely doesn’t feel like enough imo. Mine have baths or showers daily, it’s part of the getting ready for bed routine for all of them but appreciate some people will think that’s overkill!

Yep, our toddler has periodic eczema flare ups and the practice nurse at our GP advised that it is not a good idea to bathe him more than once or twice a week (leaving aside any specific need after a muddy day out!).

It's funny how the eczema advice differs.

I have two DC who had childhood eczema (one mildly and one more moderately, both grown out of it now)

Majority of people we saw with older DC (now 9 so wasn't that many years ago) advised against bathing everyday. However the other DC (now 6) was sent to a specialised eczema nurse who did an afternoon a week at our surgery and she advised to bath everyday. She said as long as we bathed in the prescribed medication then it was fine. The theory being applying layers and layers of emollient over a period of days is useless as the skin couldn't absorb it. So best to clean skin everyday and then apply whatever we were using several times a day onto clean skin.

As I say both children have now grown out of it so who knows but the eczema nurse we were under really knew her stuff and was very passionate about helping to control it for my DC3.

With regards to bathing in general, mine have 2 or 3 baths / showers a week (plus when they swim which is x2 a week for one child and x1 a week for the others) unless it's really hot and then it's everyday. Hair washing is a massive sensory ordeal for DC3 so we let her wash hair once a week but when weather is very warm she is more open to hair washing.

Oh dear God, here we go again @ThisWillBeInteresting01
It's crystal clear which thread you mean.

And someone there also linked to a US 'expert' commenting on it.

It's not neglect, no.

BUT it's also better to have a child with a clean bum at bedtime than one which is wiped badly, if we're going to be blunt.

The idea that it's bad for the skin to bath daily is rubbish.

Many people with eczema are advised to bathe daily with moisturising washes and apply cream/lotion afterwards.

There are zillions of shower or bath products that don't damage the skin.

Bathing your kids once a week is just plain revolting. Gross and yuck. I’d wager a million bucks that these are the same people who don’t brush their kids’ teeth or wash bedding regularly either. Then many of them try to justify it by saying that they’re being environmentally friendly by using less water and fewer toothbrushes. These parents need a slap around the ears to smarten them up. No two ways about it.

Of course one bath a week is not neglect. It's only a problem if they're not washing AT ALL in between baths. There were posters on that thread saying the kids would smell and be ostracised at school, what a load of rubbish. Nobody needs to smell if they wash at the bathroom sink regularly, they don't have to be fully immersed in hot soapy water every single day! That can be bad for their young skin anyway.
I had a weekly bath & hair wash as a kid in the 1970s, as did my brother & sister, we certainly didn't smell and had plenty of friends in primary school.

You sound very angry and defensive. I don't change towels hourly nor do I have 6 bottles of zoflora however when my dc were small they did indeed have daily showers. They don't have shit immune systems

Kids need daily showers. Or they smell. Just because your can't smell their sweaty feet or grubby sweaty bodies doesn't mean other people can't. Teach your kids basic hygiene fgs.