AIBU to think that bathing your kids once a week is not 'neglect'.

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This is spurred on by another threat about someone struggling to keep their house clean. They mentioned that their kids are bathed once a week. This caused a lot of negativity amongst posters, with some comments calling bathing your kids once a week 'neglect'. This surprised me!!

My DC is 4 and has on average 2 baths a week (and yes, sometimes that means 1 a week). It has never been part of our bedtime routine - it gets them het up rather than calming them down. Their hair is washed once a week in term time after swimming class (v long hair as per DC's request, which takes an age to wash and dry). On holidays we once went 3 weeks without washing their hair. Hair was not smelly and looked lovely throughout.
My DC is not smelly, not dirty and most definitely not neglected! They have clean clothes, tidy brushed hair, are very popular at school, and have a generally nice life. (They also have a miraculous ability to somehow stay clean even when eating bowls of bolognaise and poking around in the dirt at school, which is helpful 🙏. Obviously if/when they do actually get covered in mud I wash them!).

I did some poking around and the American Academy of Dermatology say that children below pre-teens do not need more than 1-2 baths a week as long as they're not actively dirty/smelly.
https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

So is it really that bad not to bathe your children very often?

YABU - Children are dirty and sticky, more washing please!

YANBU - As long as they're not stinking up the bus then it's fine.

That is quite unusual for the 1970s.

It’s not neglect but it is a little grim. Mine has always had a bath or shower, as we wanted it to be part of the bedtime routine and if it always happens then you don’t need to debate whether it’s bath night or not. In my view, it’s a good habit to get into before teens so that they continue when they are older and definitely need a daily shower.

Indeed.

'Top an tail' was what happened decades ago when they didn't have hot running water.

We average 2 baths a week and there are sometimes when it ends up being 5/6 days inbetween. I think it’s normal. I was told by the health visitor that they should be bather twice a week so that’s what I have followed

Just because you say shit doesn't mean it's true you know.

If your children smell enough that they need to be bathed every day then you are of course right to bath them. I would if mine did - she is 6 so doesn’t sweat like a teenager or an adult. I’d probably see a GP if my 6 year old had BO, actually, rather than lashing at out people who think that the only way to have “basic hygiene” is to have a full bath or shower every day.

It’s not supposed to be good for their skin to have a bath everyday

And daily in care homes and hospitals and in my house actually, now. In 2024.

Agree.

Children (everyone) wee and poo several times a day, walk around with bare feet, touch things, sweat, dribble.

No more than 1 day without a bath, often a <5 minute lather with soap everywhere. Cannot imagine a weeks worth of grime.

Maybe not to the level of neglect, but setting them up for poor hygiene and possibly bullying.

And I am an environmental person who worries about waste. But I and the children aren't going to be smelly and dirty. We modify our cleaning habits and products!

Not washing your kids hair for three weeks is some lazy ass parenting. It’s slovenly and lazy. Do better.

It really isn't.

I bathe my son once a day but I agree with you. It’s not out of necessity, well not most of the time anyway. He’d been fine going for a few days without a bath, it’s more just a habit we’ve got into now, plus he enjoy them. If we ever get to a point where money is getting tight every month I’ll be knocking daily baths on the head.

I wouldn't say once a week is anywhere near enough. They may not actively smell, but they will be dirty. Although we can wipe thoroughly after using the toilet, it won't remove everything. A week's worth of wee and poo residue alone is 🤢 never mind the rest.

Oh yeah, those were days.

Depends on the age. My DS is 2. He is either sticky with sun cream, has sand/leaves/mud in his hair (which is curly and retains everything) or covered in paint or food. He usually has a bath every other night but he’ll have a bath every night if he’s particularly grubby. I imagine (hope) he’ll become slightly less grubby as he gets older and perhaps need fewer baths, then will become stinky again when he’s a teenager and need more!

'Top an tail' was what happened decades ago when they didn't have hot running water.

😂Don't be so silly. It's just the term used for having a wash at the bathroom sink -face, hands, bits and pits, as my mum used to say. And teeth, obviously, but not in the same water!

I do find it funny, that on these threads there are a lot of people who think that showers are the ONLY way to keep clean. They're not- in the 70s, we used to have a bath every evening and a top and tail wash in the morning. So I'd guess you could say that people who ONLY shower once a day are gross and disgusting and other such hyperbolic words.

Oh and we also used proper soap- quite often Knights Castile or Wright's Coal Tar. None of this namby-pamby shower gel.

Not 'BO' no, but kids do get sweaty you know and their bums need a good daily thorough wash. Not a quick wipe with a smelly stained flannel.

People need to parent and teach their poor 6yr old's basic hygiene. Do we bother with twice daily teeth brushing or is that an environmental pollutant too? .

Why do you call it a 'full' bath or shower? Showers take minutes. Granted kids need supervision so it probably is easier to give them a quick once over with a wet wipe.

Not a quick wipe with a smelly stained flannel

Jesus, there's an image 😁🤮

Congrats on your gender neutral post. It really helped, and of course protected you from being outed.🤔

Thinking that this poster is nose-blind and eye-blind. She might not notice the pong, but guarantee others do. Those who spend time with children know which kids smells fresh and who is stale. Stale hair, pits and bums. Stale. Week old hair looks it & smells it.
Similar to wiping a plate or mug vs washing plate w soap & a scrub.
& Dirty kids getting into dirty bed.
Sorry OP, people who are up close to your kids notice, they don’t say it to your face.

Hospital wards have a handful of bathrooms and 30 patients. Some of the patients are actually bedridden so unable to access said bathroom. Not comparable or even relevant to slack parenting. I think we can all agree a top and tail in a hospital bed is not the gold standard of cleanliness.

Most people have at least one bathroom and what, 2 kids for example. Teaching and maintaining hygiene does take motivation and incentive on the parent's part but come on, it is a very basic requirement.

Inadequate is the word I would use. How often clothes are changed and washed is important too.

One of the main barriers to increased use of public transport is unclean, scruffy and smelly people are too prevalent.

I am saying having a bits and pits wash a couple of times a week between showers isn't lazy or grim etc. Some people rely on them full time.

I am disabled. I don't smell because I shower every other day. I am also not lazy.

As a child, baths were once a week and face and hands between. Clothes washed when visibly dirty, spot cleaned if only minor stains.
Washing machine filled by hand, no driers only a spinner. Everything hung up to dry.
We lived.