Would your husband…

[Sunflower8710]

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

If you read my previous comments you’ll understand why I’m so “wet” 👍 I’ve been followed by men at night and so I feel unsafe in the dark and avoid going out on my own at night when possible. If I must then I will but I avoid it if I can. Hope this helps.

So have I, and likely most women in this thread. Being scared of being on your own driveway 20 feet from your open front door with your partner in the house is an extreme reaction to this though. I’m genuinely surprised that you don’t see this.

I haven’t said it’s not an extreme reaction though?

But if you know it’s extreme why aren’t you doing anything to get your confidence and independence back?

How do you know I’m not? I’m not sure I need to disclose any of this in order to answer a question by OP on an internet forum 🤣

DH would go and get it if I asked, probably.

I wouldn't ask him to do it by himself unless I was ill - it was my mistake to throw it away! I would be more likely to ask him to help me (assuming he wasn't asleep) by holding the torch or something.

My husband would have been to get it before I had finished my sentence.

I’d go myself but if I couldn’t or didn’t want to for some reason he would go and get it for me.

Is there a reason for that? I mean I'd go for my husband as he is disabled but if we were both fit and well we'd go ourselves if we made the mistake and we wanted the thing unless there was a particular reason eg years ago if I realised while breastfeeding then he'd probably go, if he was helping child with maths homework I'd go. Without a special reason I don't know why one of us would rush off to do it for the other.

Women are more than capable of doing icky jobs. I'm thinking of some of the poonamis I've dealt with.

I'd sashay up the drive with the 12-bore cocked over my shoulder, just willing someone to try something on.

Why?

Do you have issues that make you unable to perform such tasks?

My husband would get it if I asked him too

Yes. I am not stating otherwise. I would suggest that grocery shopping and childcare still tend to fall more on women and "icky" jobs on men.

I'd get it myself, I wouldn't ask my husband. We've got these big posts with lights at the top called 'street lights' where I live. This means I'd be able to see outside without the need of a torch or need a man to go to the end of our drive for me.

As soon as I starting putting shoes on DH would ask why I was going outside and then go himself.

I wear slippers indoors, he wears shoes so quicker for him to go. Plus I have terrible night vision and our bin is at the end of our 100 foot garden that has no lights.

If it’s just the driveway - why would I expect (or want) my husband to leave the warm bed to get something I accidentally threw away?

So you occasionally get something from the bin and she does all the shopping and childcare. Great.

Because the very least you’d be able to is walk down your drive after dark if you were getting help. And DH would be supporting you in that to regain your independence.

Why> is there a reason you can’t walk to the end of your drive? And that he’d rush out so fast?

id hate that. I’m all grown up and perfectly capable. I am fortunate enough that I can walk to the end of my drive, having a vagina doesn’t make this an obstacle for me.

I would hint wildly. Then when he went and got it I would thank him,profusely.

I would also tell him where he left whatever he ‘lost’ the next day. ( though I do that anyway).

My husband would get it, but only because he is kind and not because he should do this. I’m equally capable really.

We have no street lights, but we have security lights and I’ve a torch. If I said shit I put x in the bin, just going to get it, in all likely hood my husband would say want me to, I’d respond don’t be silly of course not.

But he does tend to do that, any heavy or hard work jobs he’s like leave it, I’ll do it. Which is sweet but so unnecessary and secretly quite annoying. I’m fit and able bodied and just as capable as him in most instances, if I need help or want him to do it I will ask.

for those saying their husbands would do it. What do you do when coming home in the dark , does he have to meet you and escort you to the house?

My husband is also very kind, but I wouldn't need to ask him?

You ask him because he's kind?

If you're capable, why would you ask?

I wouldn’t necessarily ask - I’ve never been in this situation to be honest - but I can imagine I might ask if I was feeling very lazy.