To have elective surgery DH disagrees with?

[WhatWouldYouDoEh]

I'd be interested to know if anyone has been in a similar boat and what did you do?

"Surgery" might be a bit strong - it's LASEK or LASIK. Something I've wanted to do for a long time as I hate wearing glasses or contact lenses.

My DH has seemed supportive so far, but now I'm at the point where I've had an initial consultation and I'm suitable to go ahead, he has said he doesn't agree with me having it done. He's concerned about the potential complications (mainly driving at night).

Ultimately he will respect my decision and not stop me going ahead, but now there's a voice of doubt in my mind.

He called it "vanity" surgery and has said he doesn't think it's worth the risk.

I have dreamt of being free of glasses for years and can finally afford to make it a reality. I must admit now I am having doubts.

I had laser surgery with the flap with Optimax about 30 years ago!
im 55 now and now wear glasses again, but just this last year. 29 years of freedom 🙏🏻
also the lens I have now is minimal not milk bottle

I've had LASIK surgery, admittedly almost 20 years ago now, in the centre in Crete that the doctor who invented the method (Dr. Pallikaris) was the director. The surgery itself was uncomfortable for a few days (painful only on day 1) and annoying with the amount of drops I had to put in my eyes. Light sensitivity remails a problem to this day (I have to wear sunglasses even on a bright overcast day). I had perfect vision for about one year. After a year my right eye started having poor vision. Went to the dr. Developed a condition called keratectasia/keratoconus, which basically means my cornea "sagged" due to it being thinner and developed a point to it. This means light gets filtered through it abnormally, which means my vision is affected and cannot be corrected with glasses, just hard contact lenses (which my eyes won't tolerate post LASIK as cornea is too thin). Currently vision in my right eye is 1/10 and only way to fix it would be a corneal transplant. Yes complications are low, but if you end up being the unlucky one having one you'd wish you never went through with it, I sure do!!

Omg do it, it changed my life!

Yea I'm an an anaesthetist and when it gets debated at work the reply is "why does every ophthalmologist wear glasses then?" I'm a bit of a wimp in avoiding the unnecc

I had lasek.
Massively fast recovery - my eyes were sore and gritty on the day of the op, that's all.
It was life changing and one of the best things I've ever done.
If you're funding it, explain to dh what a big difference it would make, and the savings over time on glasses and contact lens schemes.

I would do it without hesitation if my prescription was suitable. I can't wear lenses either and would love to be free of the hassle and inconvenience of my specs. It's true that there are risks and, as the pp says, if you're the one who gets complications then you'll probably wish you hadn't gone ahead, but lasik/lasek really isn't new and pioneering anymore, and personally I think the risk is a good one, especially having done your homework and knowing that you'll commit to good aftercare.

I think the bigger problem is your DH's attitude. If something went wrong, would he really throw it in your face for all time, or would he step up and be supportive, just as you would expect him to if you had an accident or developed an illness or disability? If the former, then personally I'd be thinking twice about the relationship as well as the surgery.

I had laser surgery about 30 years ago and there was a different technique in those days. It worked well and I was glasses free for over 20 years - then the usual long-sightedness because of age happened. I do think it was worth it. I have awful allergies so contact lenses became impossible for me to wear. I might have had more luck with the new disposables. The stuff about night vision being affected is true. It's really only a problem with driving at night. I'm fine at night on a familiar route. It is harder when it's an unfamiliar road and the hazing lights can be a bit disorientating.

Ignore him. I had it done when I was 25 and it was life changing. I've only recently had to start wearing glasses again and already looking at my options to have surgery again. It is absolutely not a 'vanity' surgery!

Exactly this!!! In the 25 years since I had it done I saved thousands of pounds on glasses and contact lenses.

I had Lasek in 2006 and still have perfect vision. My eyes were light sensitive for a few years and never knew night driving could be an issue - I am fine.
my DH had LASIK in 2004 and still has perfect vision. Best thing we have ever done.

I had LASIK done 20 years ago and I went into the surgery with great apprehension and fear of complications or side effects.

Best thing I did.

I had 15 wonderful years without glasses and then my vision started deteriorating again and now I wear varifocals.

I am still really glad I did it.

Of course go ahead with it if you’re comfortable with the risks etc. but if you haven’t tried contact lenses for a while they have improved a lot. I have a complex prescription and am allergic to standard contact lens solution but can still get contact lenses which are comfortable 14 hours per day. Still a faff and expensive though.

Oh and I have had no complications, perfect vision and went to Vision Express as its what I could afford.
Now I'm older I do have age related long sightedness, which I know was to be expected, corrected by simple reading glasses from poundland.
I was scared of complications, and I am so grateful I had none, but given the same choice again, I'd 100% do it.

Someone in a vague circle of mine had a complication where their vision fluctuated throughout the day.

Glasses are sometimes moderately annoying, but significant side effects would be life-changing and nothing would be worth the risk for me.

My vision is entirely corrected by my glasses though, if it wasn't I can see I would be tempted.

For swimming, I just have prescription goggles and a sacrificial old pair for if I want to mess round in the pool with my head out the water. I got the goggles for about £20 off Ali Express a few years back and they're fantastic.

I had lens replacement and it has transformed my life. I had it done at an eye hospital, privately. I have gone from my eye sight being so poor I had to sleep with my glasses under my pillow because I couldn't find them in the morning on the bedside drawers, to not needing glasses at all. I have forgotten I ever wore them unless someone reminds me.
20 minutes per eye to do, instant results, no issues. No more red marks on my nose, smeary glasses, feeling frumpy. I love it.

I know three people that have had laser eye surgery, two very successful, the third one has a lot of light sensitivity and has to wear sunglasses even on not overly bright days as it hurts her eyes too much.

i wouldn’t say it is a vanity surgery, it’s to improve your eyesight (does your dh have poor eyesight? Sometimes people don’t get it or the appeal of not walking around half blind each morning before you put glasses on in or contacts or even how much it affects other things like sport or swimming!) and if it is going to make you happier, it’s your choice - you know the risks.

Honestly, you're going to get responses from 'best thing I ever did' to 'I know someone who went blind!!' so where does that leave you? If you've done your research, weighed up the odds and feel confident in your surgeon then go ahead. It's nothing to do with your DH - your eyes, your life, your money.

I had my eyes lasered quite a few years ago and wish I'd done it earlier. I was told my eyes may still decline in terms of needing glasses for reading and I'm fine with that. If I drive at night I wear very very low prescription glasses with a coating on them to reduce glare but it's not a big issue. I wore contacts for years and it was such a relief to end that faff and the joy of waking up in the morning and being able to see is great.

A friend of mine had it done a few years ago - she was probably about 60 at the time, and had had a really high prescription since childhood.
She doesn't wear glasses for distance at all now, prefers not to drive at night, but I'm not sure if that's related to the procedure, she avoided it before.
She has reading glasses, but a light prescription.

For me, the savings on contacts have been offset by having to buy a lot of specific eye drops due to dry eyes, so there isn't that much saving.

At baseline it depends on your attitude to risk.

The risks may be rare, but for the individual person it's binary - it either occurs or it doesn't.

When I looked into it, I decided I didn't like the risks so didn't proceed. Others decide differently. Many have had good outcomes, as described above, but for me, I was uncomfortable putting myself at risk of serious complications which would never happen with my glasses.

It's so not for vanity to want to be able to see when you open your eyes 🙄 the benefits are incredible, swimming for one and that's just the icing on the cake of actually being able to SEE when you open your eyes

My partner was kind of the opposite - he knows I’m a total scaredy cat but he really encouraged me to go for it, as I was always complaining about glasses or dry eyes from contact lenses! * He was totally right to be honest - 9 years since I had LASIK now, and all great.

• I’m wary this is MN, so just want to emphasise that he didn’t pressure me in any way!

As a lifelong contact lens wearer with a very high prescription I thought about laser surgery for years. However, my lenses were pretty trouble free so I decided against it. Now I’m older I’ve had bilateral lens replacement surgery for cataracts and it is absolutely the best thing ever. It’s amazing to be able to see on opening my eyes every morning. It’s a pity your ophthalmic surgeon had advised against this as it’s the best permanent option there is.

I'm hopefully getting LASEK surgery this week!
The idea of being able to just wake up and see, not having glasses sweating off my face or fogging up when travelling, and not getting my hair caught in the hinges is bliss. I wore contacts for a long time but they have their own risks and can be a pain if you want to go swimming etc.

Everyone I know who's had it done only regrets not having it sooner, doesn't mean that I won't be the one it all goes wrong for but after researching I'm willing to take the chance.

I had Lasek because of the shape of my corneas weren't suitable for anything else. I had it done 18 years ago. I took a weeks leave. I couldn't read properly for a few days and had to watch tv with sunglasses on for a few days as it was a bit too bright. Within a week one eye was 20:20. The other eye wasn't quite as good, so they redid that eye at no extra cost 6 months later. For the first few days I listened to some audio books.
My grandson was 6 months old when I had it done and he was a bit freaked out by this stranger as he used to stare and grab at my glasses 😀. I never regretted having it done for a moment.