175k salary and all gone

[175allgone]

This will ruffle some feathers, but after tax, mortgage , childcare, living expenses….there doesn’t seem much left. SE London, commuting, wrap around care. Whilst I appreciate I’m not having to watch my bills I’m hardly living an extravagant lifestyle.

People live the was I suggested in my OP. It isnt easy but every decision can be reviewed in your budget.

What job do you do OP?

No, the general solution is to stop whinging about your position and recognise it's a short term situation.

You're clearly a smart woman, and like I said before, I'm sorry it came as a surprise that living in Islington with two small children you wouldn't be able to maintain a luxurious lifestyle, but that's just life with small children. It's not forever. You need to cut your cloth, as hundreds of thousands of other people do.

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No nit really but you should consider if your choices are the right ones . Off course if this is a short term sacrifice and you are hiking for a better salary etc that’s different but consider that you probably could live elsewhere in the U.K. with slight less with 3 x the standard of living . We moved from England to Scotland due to this a few years ago and the quality of life the amount if holidays and the time I have with the children improved so much I wish I had done it sooner

Well not all.of us said that ! There were a few of us who tried to answer the question

I was paying £2k a month for one child ten years ago. I really wanted a Montessori style nursery though (not actual Montessori as that cost even more!)

Don’t forget a lodger in skeggy too!

thats the MN solution for everything

Your saving grace is that your biggest expense is short term - hang in there,it will get better once they get to school

There are plenty of solutions. You and your partner could both go part time at work to save on nursery fees. Downsize to a flat and don't live in Islington. My partner and I live in London and manage on less than half of that jointly and have a great life, we don't have kids but neither do we see a 3 bed semi as the minimum acceptable standard of property so our mortgage is £800 (bought in the last 4 years before anyone says I bet you bought it for 50p in 1972)

I haven't read the whole thread as there is too much of it . But why do you feel entitled too it ? When you clearly can't afford it . If you can't afford it you don't. Why is such difficult to understand .

How incredibly patronising.

Are you too precious and special to live in a terrace house? Or in Skegness?

I think it majorly depends on where you are living. We are on £70k a year and manage (not much left at the end of the month, but don’t watch what we spend majorly in terms of eating out, buying nice clothes etc). We however have no childcare costs (I am a SAHM so can do everything here from school runs to clubs and classes). We live in Yorkshire and have a nice little house with a small mortgage in a nice area of Yorkshire. We manage an abroad holidays a year and a couple of staycations. I saw that you have about £1,000 left at the end of the month after outgoings, we probably have similar if not a little more to be honest which is crazy when we see the difference in our wages. But that’s obviously as you live in a more expensive place therefore the mortgages will cost more and you require childcare as have by the sounds of it a really full on and busy full time job. £4,000 sounds a lot but I have no idea about childcare costs as never used extra childcare. However my cousin had 2 young children in nursery and I know her childcare was close to £2k so I guess it’s London prices ? Hopefully once the children are out of nursery stage and into school childcare won’t be too crippling!

Nope, just not looking forward to the commute

I wasn’t putting words in your mouth at all. Did you not even read what you wrote? You’ve been rightly roasted by others, too.

But off you flounce.

No I actually get £1200 child benefit a year.

I said it to show how much the government would have to give me to have the same income after tax as the OP does. The government doesn't hand out benefits to all low earners. The thresholds can be surprisingly low.

Would that be Skegness in SE London?

Seriously OP you need to give your head a wobble- there have been some snarky responses on this thread but also quite a bit of decent advice and some well meaning reality checks too. If you didn’t want to hear what other people have done, why did you ask the question?

Childcare is ruinous. I can't see that jt will go down much with school as you still need to pay for wraparound care and support in school holidays :-(

With all due respect you don’t have kids so you don’t have the massive outlay for childcare that OP does.

downsizing to a flat is not the solution - perhaps moving outside of london and facing a longer commute is but it’s clear that it’s the nursery expenses that are the issue here.

4k on childcare?? Hopefully you can get the discount soon??

2k for a full time childcare place os pretty average where I live and if either of them earn over 100k there will be no discount.
There were times when I paid more on childcare than I earnt.

My heart bleeds for you

hmmm it’s quite simple isn’t it?

You have a high salary but your outgoings are high so you’re left with £1k at the end of the month which you seem to be displeased with.

I also have a child and live in a nice area of East London, my earnings are lower than yours (70k) but my outgoings are also lower than yours, and I also have about 1k leftover at the end of the month.

I’m happy with my lot though :) We won’t be able to have another child until our LO is in school due to how expensive childcare but that’s the situation in this country like it or not...

Maybe you could go over your finances and make some changes if you feel the need to. You could hire a full time nanny to look after both your kids and save about a grand a month.

@blacktreacles if your LO qualifies for the 30 hours at 2 it should be the same free hours as school 😊

I think you're asking if you've missed any obvious ways you can manage, you probably haven't, although it may help you if you draw up and stick to a budget.

In terms of how others manage, you already know the answer to this: first they cut back wherever they can (holidays, eating out, cinema, treats, take away food and coffee, car), when that doesn't cut it, one or both parents seek additional employment (a second, third or fourth job; more hours in their existing job); some couples will also look at whether one salary is actually worth more than childcare costs and if not, one of them (usually the woman) gives up her job; they claim whatever benefits they're entitled to; the parents go without adequate clothing and food to ensure their children don't suffer; when it goes beyond that, all members of the family go without necessary items like food, adequate clothing and heating; when that doesn't cut it, they are eventually evicted / lose their mortgaged property and sofa surf with family and friends until they run out of options and end up completely homeless until, if they're 'lucky' they're placed in squalid, single room emergency accomodation whilst waiting years for a council property.