Giving grandchildren different amounts of inheritance

[Darinki]

Good evening all,
I am posting on behalf of a friend who isn’t massively tech literate but is seeking advice, obviously she will get professional advice but it is causing a lot of worry and I want to give her some opinions to help in decision making, she knows I am posting and has encouraged it.

My friend is in her 70s, she’s recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, her husband passed away in 2022.
She had two children, one passed away many years ago the other is in his mid 50s. She has 3 grandchildren, 2 are her sons and 1 is her late daughters. They are all between 18-22.

When it comes to assets all she really has is her house, she got a valuation done recently and it was was around 1.2 mil. She also has some cash savings but she suspects these will be spent on care as her condition worsens.
She has already spoke to her son and he has suggested when she re-writes her will they just skip a generation and go straight to the 3 grandchildren.
Her daughters daughter got inheritance from her mum, she owns property in London worth around 700k at 22 so not doing badly at all, she also has no student debt.
Her sons children will have student debt and other than small savings from their parents no house deposit etc.
Her son thinks because of this the inheritance should be split 10/45/45 or similar. This would still be say £100,000 if not a little more to the cousin who owns property already, but it would also give his 2 children the opportunity to buy a better property. They all live in the London/SE area so housing is expensive!
My friend however is worried that this is unfair on her granddaughter, and is getting herself very stressed trying to decide. She sees merit in both arguments.
so
YABU - It should be equal they all deserve the same
YANBU - It makes sense to give those who have less now more

Thoughts?

This it is how probate would handle it and is fair.

If there were no will granddaughter would receive half of the estate. Suggesting skipping a generation is actually son's way of ensuring his children get more than they would have done.

If she skips a generation, it should still be split 50/50 down the family lines. So in this case, granddaughter gets 50%, grandchild1 of son gets 25%, and grandchild2 of son gets 25%. That's the only fair way.

The fact the granddaughter has money due to her mother dying when she was a child, should not hold any weight in this. Losing her mother was not a good thing after all...

Agree with what others are saying, it's very obvious the son is trying to get 2/3 instead of 1/2 secured for his line. Disgusting.

More! He wants 90% 😳

@Moglet4 oh yes, you're correct, I forgot that part!! Absolutely shocking. It's totally vile behaviour of the son.

Thank you everyone,
I have shown my friend all the replies and we have spoken about it.

She is going to discuss with her son/grandchildren but is thinking 1/3 each may be the fairest way to do it. Or 1/5 each (so 2/5 for the granddaughter) but she knows her son is unlikely to support this despite it leaving his line better off than what the will currently states (50/50).

It is appalling she is being put through all this stress!

Of course the son is rooting for his children to be given the majority of the money. What a vulture. It should be split evenly. The poor girl lost her mother, hence why she has a bit of extra money.

If it had been the dgd coming forwards and suggesting that, then I'd still say that I think the will should be made out at best 1/3 each.
As it's the son I label him greedy and should be refused. 50/50 is what I say because of his greed.

I would also suggest that she either writes the dgd a letter telling her it is not her wish that she gives it to her cousins, which goes with the will, or does something to stop him putting huge pressure on a believed young adult to give her cousins her inheritance. Because I'll bet he will at least try to tell her that her granny would have wanted that to persuade her to change it.

Another vote for a 50:50 split between son and granddaughter. If the existing will achieves this, there is no need to rewrite it, and it is less likely to be successfully challenged than a will newly written when close to death.

Either -

1. split evenly between ds and Dd (DD’s half would then go to dgd and ds could split his evenly with his children if he wishes).
2. split evenly between the 3 dgc.

It’s not fair that dgd misses out because her mum died young. Presumably DS’s children will eventually inherit from him when he passes.

Absolutely it should be a fair split. Her son sounds very grabby

It is appalling she is being put through all this stress!

It is indeed appalling and shameful, but she has the power to shut it down and tell him its 50/50 and therefore, discussion closed.

Son is awful. 33 % each grandchild is very generous. Otherwise
GD 50% : GS 25% : GS 25%

Actually if her current will says 50/50 she just needs to say 'I'm not changing it stop being grabby'

End of discussion.

Oh - I like this. All empathy to you and your friend @Darinki.

Half to late daughter's child and half split between the other two. In normal circumstances the two children would have inherited and that would then pass to their kids i.e. her grandchildren.

Her son doesn’t have to support it and she doesn’t have to tell him what her final will ends up saying. I’d take the advice of the poster who suggested leaving a clear letter to the gd, with a copy to her solicitor.
Not one of my siblings and I would have DREAMT of asking my long dead parents what was in their will. My mother more or less cut my only brother out, with good reason. It was her money.

Being an only child, I got £Xk from my late GM's estate I was 23. My three cousins who were 15, 12 and 8 at the time got a third each of what I got into a trust fund until they were 18.

Sorry but your son is being a CF! If you split equally between the 3 grandchildren his kids will already get more than if you split between your two children. So his kids already better off! Your DGD shouldn't be penalised because she already lost her mum!

Sorry your friends son/DGD!

Her son is being a bit of a plonker. His sons will eventually inherit from him, hopefully at a more usual time in their lives than his poor niece.

She should leave 50% to her son and 50% to her granddaughter. And a note to explain that she fully intends for all her worldly goods to be shared equally between her 2 children, her granddaughter standing in lieu.

Anything else would be to the financial gain of her son and his kids. If she want to aim for equity she needs to tell him to step bavkm

She doesn't need to discuss or disclose the contents of her will with anyone. She can smile and nod at her son and write whatever she wants. Just make sure a solicitor is named as executor, not mr grabby

I would strongly advise her she tells her son nothing apart from she has considered what he has to say and she won't be discussing it further as it is causing her undue distress. And hold the line.

Shame on him.

The son sounds horrible. Is he normally that bad?

The poor woman will spend the final months of her life knowing that her one surviving child sees her as little more than a human cash machine, meant to ensure that his children can buy property in one of the world's most expensive real estate markets!

I just cannot wrap my brain around this level of greed and entitlement.

Essentially he'll walk all over his late sister's grave, cheat his niece out of an inheritance and make his mother's final months stressful just so his kids can "get on the property ladder" - Unbelievable!