Giving grandchildren different amounts of inheritance

[Darinki]

Good evening all,
I am posting on behalf of a friend who isn’t massively tech literate but is seeking advice, obviously she will get professional advice but it is causing a lot of worry and I want to give her some opinions to help in decision making, she knows I am posting and has encouraged it.

My friend is in her 70s, she’s recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, her husband passed away in 2022.
She had two children, one passed away many years ago the other is in his mid 50s. She has 3 grandchildren, 2 are her sons and 1 is her late daughters. They are all between 18-22.

When it comes to assets all she really has is her house, she got a valuation done recently and it was was around 1.2 mil. She also has some cash savings but she suspects these will be spent on care as her condition worsens.
She has already spoke to her son and he has suggested when she re-writes her will they just skip a generation and go straight to the 3 grandchildren.
Her daughters daughter got inheritance from her mum, she owns property in London worth around 700k at 22 so not doing badly at all, she also has no student debt.
Her sons children will have student debt and other than small savings from their parents no house deposit etc.
Her son thinks because of this the inheritance should be split 10/45/45 or similar. This would still be say £100,000 if not a little more to the cousin who owns property already, but it would also give his 2 children the opportunity to buy a better property. They all live in the London/SE area so housing is expensive!
My friend however is worried that this is unfair on her granddaughter, and is getting herself very stressed trying to decide. She sees merit in both arguments.
so
YABU - It should be equal they all deserve the same
YANBU - It makes sense to give those who have less now more

Thoughts?

I think the son’s suggestion is outrageous and completely unfair. It should be split equal.his children will inherit later in life again when he dies but the daughters child will
not. She wouldn’t get less because she lost her mum early in life.

Surely it’s a no brainer?

As her daughter has passed, her portion goes straight to her child so 50% to granddaughter and 50% to her son.

Otherwise, split equally between each grandchild, but definitely not more to son’s kids. He’s being a right cheeky fucker!

In France the law requires half to the granddaughter and a quarter each to the other kids - as previous posters have said - the grandmother had two children so each of their families gets half:

I must admit, however, to having thought MiL was being extremely unfair when she used the same system to make a gift to her three grandchildren: my niece still has both her parents, but grannie gave 50% of the sum to the niece, her daughter's child, and 25% each to our sons : her son's children: (the fact that the niece is a spoilt spendthrift made it particularly galling - she lives rent-free in an appartment her mother owns and Daddy gets her car serviced and fills the tank for her): At least our children know the value of money:

So back to the OP, if grannie wants to "level the playing field" she can split it 33% three ways:

It should be split equally. In the proposed uneven split the granddaughter's lasting feeling would be my grandma didn't love / like / care about me. I also think it could cause difficulties in family relations going forward.

I have a friend whose mum died when she was young. There was a short moment when I was envious of her beautiful house as I could only afford shared rental. But I then gave my head a good wobble as it was only because her mum had died that she could afford it. She would have given up that house in a heartbeat to still have her mum.

I'm sorry for your friends diagnosis.

Equal split.
Some people are so grasping and greedy when it comes to inheritance

@Darinki reading your update the girl lost her mum when she was young child. The son is absolutely callous to say he doesn't like the girl. I bet he never gave any support in the years after her mother's death.

Go for a 50/50 split. No arguments. The girl inherits her mums share.
No way is 10/45/45 a fair split if the DD was alive she'd be entitled to her share.

I know someone who did the 90/10 split between a brother and sister, causing a massive rift between two who were close, 15 years on they barely speak.

Strictly I would say what would have been the daughters half should go to her child and the son is free to do what he wants with his half ,ie give to his kids. I think this would be what happened if she died intestate. If not at least divide three ways. The grand daughter maybe well set up financially but she lost her mother early on and no amount of money makes up for that.

This is a good idea !

You know a heck of a lot regarding your friends finances 😳

This

How is that fair, his family get 75% the DD 25%?

You either split equally between the DGC 33% each or equally between the DC 50% each. With the DGD getting her mothers share.

If she wants to split it between the GC only, split it three ways.

If she wants to split it between "her daughter's side" and "her son's side" split it 50/25/25 to the GC.

Either is fair, she just needs to think about how many people she wants to split it between (whether still alive or not! ) and do that equally.

I'd split it evenly between the grandchildren.

I don't think it's fair giving the gd half and the the boys get half between them either.

My gran split her will so that everyone in the family received the same amount, eg her son, dil, and 3 grandchildren . We all received 20%

Granddaughter should get at least 1/3 (split equally among grandkids) but when I think about it I'm with the others above that she should ideally get 1/2 (with 50 per cent going to each family, and the family with 2 grandkids sharing the their 50 per cent).

@Darinki he also wants it to skip a generation because his children would then only receive 25% each and his neice would receive 50%!! he is actually being very sneaky suggesting a miss of generation! she received inheritance from her mum but I am sure she would much rather have had her mum here in her life! I would seriously just not skip the generation and have it 50/50 between him and his late sister's offspring! I am saying this as a grandmother who has lost her daughter. her two children are currently staying in my house. they will share their mother's share of inheritance. their uncle, my son, will get his half, as per normal!

This is easy.

She should give each child 50% of her estate. Her granddaughter will get 50%, her son will get 50% to do with as he sees fit.

No way should her son’s kids get more because they were lucky enough not to lose a parent. Ultimately they will still inherit from their father so they won’t be worse of long term.

Son is a greedy, grasping shit bag. Imagine begrudging your dead sister's only child an equal share of her grandmother's money. Fucking hell, I really don't know how some people sleep at night.
Also worth bearing in mind that, depending what part of London she lives in, the GD is unlikely to be living it up in some luxury penthouse/5 bed townhouse. £700k unfortunately gets you very little in some parts of the capital - she could quite easily be in a one bed flat.

Equal share to the grandchildren, and the son is a CF to suggest that his own DC get almost all of the estate.

Also, what legacy does this leave the granddaughter with if she is pretty much left a very small portion of the estate. She’s inherited early because she lost her mum. It’s not always about the money - which many people do not understand - it’s the thought and reasoning behind it that can hurt beyond the grave.

I have no contact with my DM due to her abusive behaviour over my life. An aunt (her DSis) has just told me that another aunt (also their DSis) has cut me out of her Will and is leaving her estate to my 4 cousins only (aunt has never married/had DC). Apparently the reason is that I am NC with my DM (DSis) so she’s decided - and actually voiced this - that she is going to teach me a lesson by cutting me off. Now I’ve never imagined for one minute that I’d ever be in her Will - never even given it a moments thought and she has 3 siblings who one would assume would get her estate - but her apparent reasoning is just yet another stick to beat me with beyond the grave. Never underestimate how shit it can make someone feel.

I think either 1/3 each or 1/4 each to grandchildren plus Son. Anything else will cause upset.

How sad to be facing the end of your life and discovering your son is such a disgusting excuse of a human. I can't believe it's even being questioned... his proposal is outrageously unfair and unkind. What a memory to leave her grand daughter with.

@Darinki the perfect solution for all which won’t hurt anyone is 50% to son (who is entitled to 100% if she didn’t say otherwise), and split the remaining 50% equally between the 3 grandchildren. Then if the son wants to gift his share to his kids that’s up to him. All beneficiaries would consider this a fair split and noone would be hurt. In this case end result would approximate 42% for each of the unhoused grandkids and 16% for wealthy grandkid, without gran having treated them differently.
Also don’t have the dad mention his suggestion of giving up his share, no one needs to know this.

If your friend does skip a generation, she should consider explaining why in a letter of wishes and/or give the son a nominal amount. This is to stop him successfully contesting the will as he is a direct beneficiary.

I’d be tempted to forget to write a will ( would check with a solicitor there were no pit falls to this) then intestate rules would sort it out for me.

The son sounds awful.

I'd leave him absolutely nothing and split the rest 3 ways. And let him know his views are vile. I hope the granddaughter doesn't know them.

This. The poor girl only has that money because she lost her mum too young