Giving grandchildren different amounts of inheritance

[Darinki]

Good evening all,
I am posting on behalf of a friend who isn’t massively tech literate but is seeking advice, obviously she will get professional advice but it is causing a lot of worry and I want to give her some opinions to help in decision making, she knows I am posting and has encouraged it.

My friend is in her 70s, she’s recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, her husband passed away in 2022.
She had two children, one passed away many years ago the other is in his mid 50s. She has 3 grandchildren, 2 are her sons and 1 is her late daughters. They are all between 18-22.

When it comes to assets all she really has is her house, she got a valuation done recently and it was was around 1.2 mil. She also has some cash savings but she suspects these will be spent on care as her condition worsens.
She has already spoke to her son and he has suggested when she re-writes her will they just skip a generation and go straight to the 3 grandchildren.
Her daughters daughter got inheritance from her mum, she owns property in London worth around 700k at 22 so not doing badly at all, she also has no student debt.
Her sons children will have student debt and other than small savings from their parents no house deposit etc.
Her son thinks because of this the inheritance should be split 10/45/45 or similar. This would still be say £100,000 if not a little more to the cousin who owns property already, but it would also give his 2 children the opportunity to buy a better property. They all live in the London/SE area so housing is expensive!
My friend however is worried that this is unfair on her granddaughter, and is getting herself very stressed trying to decide. She sees merit in both arguments.
so
YABU - It should be equal they all deserve the same
YANBU - It makes sense to give those who have less now more

Thoughts?

She needs to think about the fact that the grandchildren will see it as how much they're loved, not the value of the money. The granddaughter will be thinking that she loves the others more.

Splitting it three ways between grandkids is more than his children would have got if she split it evenly between her two kids.
seriously this granddaughter has lost her mum she does not need to feel her grandmother thinks she’s worth less than her other two grandkids due to her uncles greed.

1/3 each would seem like a compromise that gives the son's children plenty of help but without leaving the niece hard done by.

360k is plenty of money, though presumably there will be IHT on that.

Split equally between the three grandkids. As others have said the son's kids will inherit from him when he dies. Hope your friend is not feeling too pressured op. She can keep the contents of her will private.

Poor granddaughter.
The Most important fact isn’t that she gained a £700k flat, it’s that her mum died really young.
Again her grandmother’s inheritance isn’t about the monetary value either, it’s about how her granddaughter would feel to know she’s been seen as deserving only 10% for whatever reason but that her cousins deserve considerably more.

My god, I absolutely hate wills and how money grabby people get about them.

Better yet tell your friend to sell her house and blow £1.2m on experiences of a lifetime!

Equally. Or she gets her mother's 50% and the son gets 50% and can give that to his children.

I’d have to split equally.
GD only has money because her mum died. Son’s dc will also inherit from him in time so split in 3 equally is fair.

Share it equally.
Anything else will lead to resentment and upset.

So because the DGD mother died, she loses some of her inheritance?

Seems unfair?

In fact I would argue that actually it should be split 50/50 between the two family's, so the DGD gets what she would've got had her mother not died.

When my grandmother died us three grandchildren received 1/3 each (although our inheritances were 4 figure sums, not 6 figure ones!). To me this felt fairer than the prospect of getting 50%, while my cousins only got 25% each.

Giving one grandchild only 10% is crazy. Especially as the two other grandkids presumably will also receive a second inheritance when theirs parents eventually die.

I would argue that had the daughter been alive, the inheritance would've been split 50.50 to the two family's.

They then could've varied the will (they have two years), to pass to their children if they wanted.

So actually I think the DGD is still not getting her fair share.

The son is being greedy and unfair to suggest that! It isn't the granddaughters fault that her mum died and she's already had some inheritance. I would split equally and make it fair. The son has no right to tell his mum what to do with her will and her money just so it benefits his sons.

I’ll say firstly that it’s completely up to your friend. However, having been at the end of a ‘tiered’ inheritance, it hurt. My Gran did the following:

Cousins ABC- £15k
Cousins- DE- £1k
Cousin F- £0

My brother and I were cousins D and E and, whilst I spoke to my gran regularly, my dad had a falling out with my auntie who was the mum of cousins ABC and F. My auntie was the favourite and I wonder whether that had something to do with it 🤷‍♀️

My gran clearly hated Cousin F.

This is what I would.

No this is wrong.

Why would she punish the girl for something out of her control.

It needs to be equal. Her prior circumstances are irrelevant

I would do this too

Her son is being a bit naughty to try and influence his mum like this. Presumably the sons children will inherit from him in due course just as the daughters daughter did. If the daughter was still alive presumably she would leave a 50 50 split between her children . I think 50% should go to the son ( he can give it to his kids if he wants) and 50% should go to the grand- daughter.

unsurprisingly Interestingly not one person has said

”oh yes. The sons proposal sounds reasonable and fair”

I think that says a lot…

So the son has suggested the inheritance skips a generation...

Wily fucker!

It should not skip a generation and should be 50/50 to gran's children. Now because the poor niece's mum has died the 50% will then, quite rightly, go to her. What she inherited from her mum, and what she will inherit is of no business to nasty uncle. He will get his 50% and can do with it what he chooses.

It should absolutely be 50/50 and gran can surely see that.

That would be VERY unfair on her DGD. I think she should do either:

1. Equally split between the 3 DGC (so 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 each)

2. 1/2 to her DGD (late daughter's child) and 1/4 each to her DGS (son's child). This would mean effectively her children get half each and assumes they would pass their shares to their own children.

Your friend's son is being awful.

I think your friend should do the equal split (option 1) and explain clearly to her son that because he has more children, this option actually benefits them so they will be getting more help.

In my family we the inheritance went to the children equally with the share for the dead one going to his children. Anything else would be wildly unfair.

I’m sorry, but there’s only one ‘fair’ way of doing this and it’s certainly not what her out-of-order son is suggesting. Half to the son which he can then give to his children straight away if he wishes or hang on to for them to inherit in his death and half to the granddaughter.
Also if Grandma has effectively 1m as you seem to suggest the 250000 is still a bloody good house deposit, even in the SE!

This.

Split equally. That's the only way.
What if one of the kids married well? What if one of them has five kids and the other two one? What if one gets a well paying job the others chooses a career less financially rewarding?
You can't take all that into account.

I'd also be getting the grandkids together to discuss why I'd done it that way and giving them a copy of the will each so the greedy git couldn't muck about with it. He just showed he's a scumbag, don't let him act it out.