Giving grandchildren different amounts of inheritance

[Darinki]

Good evening all,
I am posting on behalf of a friend who isn’t massively tech literate but is seeking advice, obviously she will get professional advice but it is causing a lot of worry and I want to give her some opinions to help in decision making, she knows I am posting and has encouraged it.

My friend is in her 70s, she’s recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, her husband passed away in 2022.
She had two children, one passed away many years ago the other is in his mid 50s. She has 3 grandchildren, 2 are her sons and 1 is her late daughters. They are all between 18-22.

When it comes to assets all she really has is her house, she got a valuation done recently and it was was around 1.2 mil. She also has some cash savings but she suspects these will be spent on care as her condition worsens.
She has already spoke to her son and he has suggested when she re-writes her will they just skip a generation and go straight to the 3 grandchildren.
Her daughters daughter got inheritance from her mum, she owns property in London worth around 700k at 22 so not doing badly at all, she also has no student debt.
Her sons children will have student debt and other than small savings from their parents no house deposit etc.
Her son thinks because of this the inheritance should be split 10/45/45 or similar. This would still be say £100,000 if not a little more to the cousin who owns property already, but it would also give his 2 children the opportunity to buy a better property. They all live in the London/SE area so housing is expensive!
My friend however is worried that this is unfair on her granddaughter, and is getting herself very stressed trying to decide. She sees merit in both arguments.
so
YABU - It should be equal they all deserve the same
YANBU - It makes sense to give those who have less now more

Thoughts?

Split equally. That way you aren't just giving the grandchildren money but you are giving them the gift of not living with resentment towards one another. End of the day it's your friends choice not the sons.

I think your friend should give 50% to her son and 50% to her late daughter, so directly to her granddaughter.

It is up to her son to split his inheritance with his two sons. The granddaughter should inherit the 50% that would've normally gone to her mother.

Her son it outrageous suggesting anything other than this. Even suggesting an equal split among the three is pretty bad - as it wouldn't be that way if her daughter was still alive.

The 10/45/45 split is vile.

Her son believes 90% should go to his kids? Ha. I bet he bloody does.

This post is hard for me to read. I won’t be getting any of my father’s inheritance and I don’t want to say why as it may be outing but because of this I feel it is really important in this situation to share equally. Three of my father’s children (including me) will not be getting any inheritance and this isn’t because we have been bad kids etc.

What a shame your friend has to ask this question

Her sons children will receive money from him when he dies, but thankfully for them, they have a dad who is alive right now

50% to son
50% to daughter, therefore granddaughter as her mother is dead

Anything else is wrong

I actually think the granddaughter should get more.
If the daughter was alive the estate would be split 50/50 between the son and the daughter. And then on their death, their estates would pass to their children.
So I would be saying something like the estate should be passed to my children, and in the event they are not alive, their portion should be passed to their children.
That way, 50% to granddaughter, 50% to son for him to do as he wishes. He can pass it on to his kids if he wants.... I expect he probably won't!

50% to son, 50% to Grand daughter
Son can then choose to give his children what he wants
Grand Daughter should not be treated differently because her Mother died

Equal split between the grandchildren seems the fairest way. There will always be minor inequalities in life- should one DGC get less because they might not go to university and therefore not have loans to repay?
My DPs have skipped our generation and have split equally between our DCs.

And yes, per previous posters, what a horrible thing that has been forced on your friend. I hope she can have a more peaceful path.

Split 3 ways between grandchildren (even this is a bit unfair in respect of 2/3 then going to one 'branch of the family, so GD is losing out because her mother died) or 50/50 to son and GD.

Would also suggest she does not make her son executor as he seems greedy. Leave it with a solicitor.

Either 33% each per grandchild or 50% to son and 50% to grand daughter.

Her grand children of her son with surely inherent from him when he dies.

So the daughter’s daughter loses out because her mother died?

Thar would be incredibly hurtful.

Three way, equal split is the only way to go!

This

This would be the fairest thing to do

Actually, if doing it that day the daughters daughter should get 50% (daughters share) and the sons kids shouldn't get 25% each (daughters share). He's being completely outrageous......

Actually, if doing it that day the daughters daughter should get 50% (daughters share) and the sons kids shouldn't get 25% each (daughters share). He's being completely outrageous......

*25% each (sons share)

My sister died young. My parents had four children and have written their will so that their assets are split 4 ways - quarter to each of their surviving children and a quarter to their granddaughter whose mum died. That seems fair to me. Your friend's son is being unreasonable.

I would do either 50% son and 50% granddaughter or 33% per grandchild. I definitely would not do what your son suggests.

Yes this.

Any other way will likely have a devastating affect on your family.

Your GD is MASSIVELY disadvantaged to lose her mother so young. If you further disadvantage her by not passing down an equal share then I have no words.

Your Dson is a CF.

Equal split is the best way, and even then they're better off than they would be under most wills.

The son is a CF. Under the terms of many wills, his sons would get 25% of the assets each (half goes to their dad, then it's divided between the two of them). So by skipping a generation and giving each grandchild an equal share, his kids are already better off than they usually would be.

To demand more on top of that is ultimate CFery.

This. I just don't think it's fair to not split such a massive amount equally between all three DGC.

1.2million with inheritance tax etc divided by 3 will give the two grandkids a very large deposit so think her son is unfair in the way he would like the house value divided.

What a nasty uncle her son is, poor girl has lost her mother. Even without that loss what he’s suggesting is unfair. She should either split it equally or give half to the granddaughter and 25% to each of the others.

50/50 is fairest split as others have said for the reasons stated. I hope she is not influenced by him. He is being selfish and greedy.

She has a will that may have been agreed with her late husband. Honour his wishes and leave her will as it is. She avoids stress.