To stay at home every weekend ?

[Woolygreyowl]

Is this weird / wrong?

Dc are at nursery / school all week. Each has one extra curricular activity a week. We walk (3 year old still uses buggy) but that’s still plenty of fresh air.

Every weekend we stay at home - the dc have toys / arts and crafts / the garden. It’s time to relax and do things at our own pace. They have a nice time and so do we. MIL has heavily criticised my parenting and SIL (who is a childcare practitioner don’t you know 🙄) thinks I’m affecting their ‘social and emotional development’ (?wtf!) because we are at home every weekend??!

I find being at home on the weekends really stressful, can’t keep up with the mess, DD wants a lot of attention and will get bored and we revert to screens. So we get out all the time (still spend 5-6 hours a day at home) to soft play, parks, bounce parks, family visit, swimming, museums, play cafes, feed ducks, forest walks, library, gala days etc

Are people not reading the OPs updates.
She says quite clearly they go out and do stuff after school, during the holidays etc 🙄

We are total homebodies and have been since we had kids. Weekends are to stay homes, do ordinary stuff, play games, be lazy, cook, watch movies, relax and recharge, sometimes we socialise, go out, go to the park, cycle, go on walks etc, but largely we prefer to keep to ourselves and not have a schedule. NOTHING wrong with this. Please don't listen to others who can't do this and hence can't understand how others do it. You don't need to have a routine with the world on weekends. Madness.

We stay at home most weekends, but always have visitors, kids have a few acres of land to play, garden toys, a zipline, trampoline, a pool, toys, crafts, devices etc. We work full time and the Sat&Sun are spent cooking,eating,swimming and catching up with housework, laundry and shopping. Tbh the last I want is trail the kids in busy places on my days off.
Maybe once every month we'll go to a party or a nice park , the beach etc, we only go out to eat for special occasions.

Every family is different when it comes to how they spend their weekends.

When the kids get older and if they express an interest in taking up sports or going to places on the weekends, will you keep them at home still, as you prefer to stay in on the weekend?

I think this is a bit strange to be honest. I would get cabin fever. But it’s your life to do what you want with.

However, if SIL is left to take MIL out every weekend while your DH refuses to take her anywhere, I can understand her frustration

I've read all the OP's posts, but still think it is odd to stay at home ALL weekend.

It is 6 or 7 weeks between holidays.

MIL and SIL can mind their own business. I'd do what I wanted, taking into account what I thought was best for my family. Different people like different things, and who's to say that what's best for one is best for all?

My way of life would be misery for some, but I can guarantee that their lifestyle wouldn't be for me, either. If your children are happy and well-adjusted, that's what matters.

I feel sorry for kids who have never spent the whole weekend being at home and devoting their time to building the world's biggest brio train track that goes around the whole house and then making little stations and houses out of cardboard and tunnels out of books....
That's what weekends at home are all about to me.

My reality of this would be ds4 building it and ds2 running in and smashing it to pieces, then ds4 bawling his eyes out!

It's not fun.

Out and about to parks and soft play make out lives bearable.

But saying that, we do spend time at home as well.

Interestingly, my DCs often ask to just stay in and chill if I suggest going out so they obviously do enjoy it.

Personally though I find it easier to be out as they just seem to constantly fight at home.

I hadn't actually seen this before my post but yes, 100%. Maybe I just don't have the right DC for home time to be idyllic.

@Hungrycaterpillarsmummy well yes unfortunately that can happen 🙁
(hopefully they will grow out of it....)
What I meant though was sort of a response to those saying they couldn't imagine being "at home doing nothing" all weekend. But I can always (and could as a child) find plenty of stuff to do at home.
I have many memories of being quite annoyed that I had a abandon a Lego build/craft project/book I was reading/sewing project/jigsaw puzzle/complex game with my Sindy dolls or whatever I was doing to go "out".
There's a saying/meme that says something about preferring to be at home because "that's where my stuff is".
Why is taking children out to see some farm animals seen as superior to staying in and helping children play with their trains?

We stay at home a lot as well. Find they need it to relax and want to just play with their toys - ASD child particularly loves to be in. Is balanced though with weekends with birthday parties or a playdate or camping trips so not every weekend but often think we must be quite boring compared to others who seem to have more plans

I love having downtime at the weekend and my kids do have a lot of screen time (sorry / not sorry).
We've had a hectic week and I've loved having no plans today. However by mid afternoon I did feel the need to get outdoors so I popped the toddler on the back of my bike and we went to the park. Only for an hour but it broke the day up.
I don't think you're doing anything wrong if your weekdays are busy but sometimes it's nice to get out too.

I remember building duplo with my dad and a game where we rode on his back as he crawled along the floor.
Little children have pretty simple tastes and a sense of security is about the best thing you can offer them imo.

But kindly do you think they are like that because they don’t get much of that type of activity?

I think that’s very true. I also think often it’s the adults who don’t like staying home. Some adults don’t really like playing with children but are happy to be out and about pointing things out to them etc. I do believe though that playing is one of the most important activities for children when developing, and observation based activities ( at museums etc) and other structured activity is not as valuable until they are much older.

Bit judgy. Can think of many reasons for 3 year olds to be in pushchairs. Environment, distances people walk, and child development schedules vary hugely from family to family.

Can't stand these comments. You wouldn't say it about putting them in a car seat would you. Sometimes it's just not practical to walk long distances with a 3 year old. Apparently it's fine to stick them in a car, but couldn't possibly put them in a pram. At least they are getting fresh air and might walk some of the way. There is nothing wrong with using a buggy for a 3 year old.

Can't get worked up about your weekends if the children are still young. Depends on the family doesn't it. We have a small garden so go out more. Kids probably do need time on park equipment though, depends what you've got in your garden.

It only sounds limiting to me as it sounds like a decision rather than just an playing it day by day and the lack of birthday invites is quite odd.

Don’t you never wake up and fancy lunch out or a trip to the nearby river or park when it’s sunny?

If it was my mum saying this it would be a manipulative ploy to get me to take her out. Sounds from your other posts that she’s doing the same thing and not even being very subtle about it.

I would recommend speaking to other family members directly because if everything goes through her she’ll lie and twist things. She’s using what’s known as ‘triangulation’ in the narcissism world.

You could test her by pretending to take your DC somewhere she wouldn’t want to go.

yup...and in this case there is a disability too.

Sounds perfect to me, it’s lovely to have that down time at home with children. It’s simple happiness, especially after all the mayhem of the week, running around, trying to do everything. How dare anyone especially your family make assumptions on your parenting.

Who cares what anybody else thinks, you know your children are having much needed time to enjoy slowing down and being in their home. Soon enough they will be off doing their own thing at the weekends with their friends. Enjoy this time together.

Personally I think it’s ridiculous the way some parents constantly feel the need to entertain their children at the weekend through excursions and activities.
Each to their own.

Wow how judgemental. Not your business