To stay at home every weekend ?

[Woolygreyowl]

Is this weird / wrong?

Dc are at nursery / school all week. Each has one extra curricular activity a week. We walk (3 year old still uses buggy) but that’s still plenty of fresh air.

Every weekend we stay at home - the dc have toys / arts and crafts / the garden. It’s time to relax and do things at our own pace. They have a nice time and so do we. MIL has heavily criticised my parenting and SIL (who is a childcare practitioner don’t you know 🙄) thinks I’m affecting their ‘social and emotional development’ (?wtf!) because we are at home every weekend??!

Personally I love weekends at home. We also cook, play games, crafts. Mine are a bit older, 8 and 11 and they do loads at school in the week. We do go out if they’re getting bored or we have parties or meet ups arranged. Or they’ll go out with their Dad. But don’t blame you for staying in. Family down time is precious.

I actually think nowadays kids lives are too timetabled, they have no time to just chill be at home.my Best childhood memories have been chilling at home with my family . Nowadays people pack out their weeks with extra curricular activities which for many parents is necessary but then therr should be some chill time on the weekend! I am think you should do what works for your kids!

Not your responsibility, if she wants her to go out, she should take her herself. It's her problem, not yours!

They will judge her on what ? Maybe your children will judge you because they didn't like being on the go 7 days a week. We can only do what we think is best at the time.

Like so many discussions on here, so many people arguing for one side seem to think there are only extremes........ everyone who has an alcoholic drink must get legless......everyone who dares to walk in a house with shoes has apparently always either traipsed across a muddy field or jumped up and down in dog shit ....... etc

People who go and do something outside their house at a weekend aren't usually depriving their dc of downtime. They aren't out all day, both days. Most people do some sort of mix.

I can't actually understand how a family where parents are out of work during the week, don't actually have a need to go out some of the time at weekends, anyway.

I’m a homebody so sympathise, but getting out and about will add to your children’s life experiences and development. They are learning all the time and need more exposure to the world than they’re getting.

One half term we went go karting, swimming, cinema, Southend funfair and Go Ape as well as that really high/long death slide that was at Waterloo.

Woo, pack it all in, let’s make sure the kids are never bored!

On the Saturday, we asked them what they wanted to do next week.

Can we just stay at home mum?

We never did that again - took 2 little kids to remind us quality over quantity and sometimes the best place to be in the world is at home.

Nothing wrong with it at all, kids need down time also, plus quality time with you and family, plus your weekends sound lovely.

Some weekends we do have a
'home' one, but only now and then. An activity can be just for an afternoon and is always beneficial for fresh air, experiencing life outside of school and work, meeting up with friends and relatives. So for me personally I couldn't stay in every weekend, there is so much out there to do and learn from. Sometimes we're out both days, others just one, still plenty of time to do home stuff. Me and dh both work so weekends are a time to have family fun. Xx

Oh that makes sense now! Even more reason to tell them to do one.

Do what you want but I’d go insane doing that every weekend. There’s a whole world outside your house and garden.

Sounds like you have a great balance that works for your family 😊

I read so often on here people say that they would go crazy if they didn't go out - I'm the opposite I have no idea how people cope with going out every week.

We have on DD who is nearly 4, she goes to nursery all year round (starting school September though), we stay in most weekends but sometimes go to soft play/family get to get hers once per month and special occasions in the family. We suspect ASD/ADHD in both her and me! We absolutely both need enjoy the downtime. I know for me personally I usually spend the start of the following week frazzled and looking forward to a relaxed weekend after a busy weekend. We are not built for this busy world and that's ok! If everyone is happy and doing well I don't see any issue, I think we will be doing similar when DD is at school 😊

I will add also we do have short visits from family most weekends too

But they go out in the holidays and sometimes after school OP has said, which is pretty normal especially if you're on a budget

Do people just hate their homes and families that much they can't bear 48hrs at home?! I honestly struggle to understand it when people are paying a shit ton of money for a mortgage/rent but they don't ever want to be there

I always took my daughter to children’s museums, petting zoos, actual zoos, school plays, nature walks, things like that there.

I love my house but staying in every weekend is not for me. We rarely have expensive days out but I want to be out and about, I spend the working week indoors, I don’t want to spend the weekend stuck on one place.

They will judge her on what ?

Never going out, what did you think I meant?

There is a balance between "being on the go 7 days a week" and just sitting at home like a potato each weekend.

Well I think it’s great that DH wants family time with his wife and DC.
He works all week and wants down time interacting with his family - lovely!!
Mumsnet is all about moaning about DH’s that work all week then go out doing whatever all weekend - or seeing their mum with out their DC at weekends… so your DH should be a mumsnet dream…. Not only does he spend his spare time with his DC but he also arranged his gym time and drinking time for when his DC are in bed… AND he stands up for his wife against his mother and sister! HE SOUND PERFECT @Woolygreyowl
If the kids are happy playing in the garden at weekends then great!!…. As long as they’re not sat in front on the TV or playing computer games, I think home time playing is great! Many kids these days just simply don’t get enough time to play and explore their imaginations!… I think your balance of doing things in school holidays is great, and through crafts they’re learning essential motor skills!!

Weekdays are bloody hard work! This is what we do most weekends too because we’re all too knackered! Kids are allowed to have downs time and time to do imaginative play, they don’t need entertaining every bloody day. Tell them to piss off. Your family, your rules.

Do people just hate their homes and families that much they can't bear 48hrs at home?! I honestly struggle to understand it when people are paying a shit ton of money for a mortgage/rent but they don't ever want to be there

That's an odd leap.
No-one on this thread has even vaguely hinted at that.

Overwhelmingly, people are saying it is odd to spend every minute of both days, every weekend without ever having a change of scenery, or interacting with other people, or taking your dc to crack on with all the 'stuff' that needs doing in life, or to something that will be fun, or just a change from routine.

not sure where you get overwhelmingly from? the vote is 80/20 in favour

She doesn't sit at home like a potato, her children play, do art and crafts etc. Maybe her children will judge her in a positive light because they were allowed to just be.

That really depends how far they're walking, doesn't it 🙄

I suppose it all depends what “home” is like.

Staying at home for us includes looking after our horse and hens, plus watching cows and sheep in the field next to the garden. A village with a vast private country estate to roam around just over the garden fence (like a NT stately home but without the tourists).

We have a beautiful multi level garden, another family of children next door to
play with. A treehouse, a play house and a billion indoor and outdoor toys.

Staying at home doesn’t involve just 4 walls.

Conversely staying home in a small
flat or inner city tiny terrace would be a very different experience indeed.

That is a potato experience to me. They are still at home and not experiencing outside life.