To stay at home every weekend ?

[Woolygreyowl]

Is this weird / wrong?

Dc are at nursery / school all week. Each has one extra curricular activity a week. We walk (3 year old still uses buggy) but that’s still plenty of fresh air.

Every weekend we stay at home - the dc have toys / arts and crafts / the garden. It’s time to relax and do things at our own pace. They have a nice time and so do we. MIL has heavily criticised my parenting and SIL (who is a childcare practitioner don’t you know 🙄) thinks I’m affecting their ‘social and emotional development’ (?wtf!) because we are at home every weekend??!

If they are only doing one thing in the week and you aren't even going for a family wander to the park or beach then yes, yabu

Horses for courses.
I would feel suffocated and stir crazy staying at home with small children all weekend. I like to be out and about and visiting people and places. However, I wouldn’t dream to say I was right and you were wrong. It’s completely personal.

What rule book are you reading?

The kids are running around in the garden!

They don't necessarily 'run on the company of other people', they just recognise that there's a lot more to the world than their own four walls, and want to experience it themselves and show it to their children.

I couldn't stay at home all weekend, every weekend, but I do agree it is relaxing after a busy week. I work full time, I've been in uni this week, out with friends one evening, helped with the cubs another, and went for a walk last night. I have been home all day today and am not planning on going out anywhere today. I've been catching up with all my jobs, so I can relax and enjoy half term with my children. As long as the children are happy and getting fresh air and stimulation, etc, I can't see the problem. My husband and son have been gone for hours getting a greenhouse this morning. My other son has been on the computer. I'm sure your children are having a more educational weekend than him!!

me and my kids stay in every weekend, we only go places in the holidays. Not on the weekends.

is he at nursery all day every day???

It’s up to you but I do think the odd trip to a park to socialise with new kids or a petting farm would be good for them.

This sounds lovely OP and I highly suspect your children will love having a nice, chilled time with their parents. You're making lovely, cosy, homely memories for them.

i work full time, have 2 teenagers and a toddler...that's exactly what i do as i'm 40 fat and knackered. slightly prefer that to being and patronising prat though

So you do take them out and about in the holidays. Nothing wrong with enjoying your home at a relaxed pace over the weekend, I find it's overly busy during Saturday and Sunday anyway, our youngest would have a meltdown with too many people around.
It sounds like this is a MIL and SIL problem, let them crack on and you enjoy your peace.

Every weekend? It's rained for about the last 18 months. You can do an hour puddle jumping in the park much more easily than an hour getting soaked on a patio.

Sometimes after school we go to the park, they do so much during the week and get all their homework done too so that the weekends are just free for playing

Yes half terms and holidays we go out

I'm mid 40s and thinking back to my (very happy) childhood, we never went on days out. We played in the garden, did crafts, went to the park but there wasn't any soft play or petting zoos and whatnot. Everything was centred around home and our bikes and make believe. I've turned out ok! 😂

I think it's all to do with your personality type. If you recharge by being at home and you're all happy with that, then do what works best for you all. It's no one else's business.

exactly. mom threw us in the garden and we got on with it. too much expectation placed on parents now. petting zoos for heavens sake!! why??? to have a screaming kid running off from chickens or goats, no thanks been there done that. kids don't need constantly over planned faux fun.

Sounds fine to me, there’s no huge reason to go on days out when they’re little too often, you can adjust it as they get older. I’m flabbergasted that someone would say this to you or about you.

My father in law once made a comment about how sorry he felt for the kids that I didn't take them out every weekend and every day of the school holidays. I believe it's unnecessary and expensive. But, it caused an argument between myself and my husband who said, if I went back to work it wouldn't be unaffordable and his dad was right, they should go out more often.

So I did, and now I work occasional weekends and leave them with my husband, who also doesn't rush around taking them out. So my point was proven.

Other people should keep their opinions to themselves.

We are currently at home in the garden enjoying the weather, playing games, tending to our home grown vegetables and just generally resting after having a busy week at school/after school activities.

I have one trip out planned for the half term holiday and the rest we will just be going with the flow.

You are happy, your kids are happy who cares?

it's my worst nightmare, I can't stand being stuck at home doing nothing, my own kids love - and need - to spend energy doing sports and clubs, meeting friends, going to parties or wherever day trip we do, and we all have a great time when we are out and about.

It means that I have to listen to some people commiserating because "my poor kids don't get a chance to chill, are over-stimulated" and I am basically an awful parent 😂 I rest and relax by going out and doing things. My kids go to clubs because they enjoy them, not as a punishment!

My point is that, whatever you do, you will get criticised and someone will pity your kids. You can't win either way.

It's definitely less hassle to stay at home tbh. I enjoy both but I wouldn't criticise someone else for what they do. They are in nursery so they are socialising. My boys love being at home after a week in school. If mil keeps on tell her to take them out and give you a break.

If this works for all of you currently and the children are happy, relaxed and not overstimulated and you and your husband are able to recharge your batteries, I think this sounds great. No doubt the children's requirements will change before too long and you can make changes then.

Great that DH has your back and pushed back with MIL and SIL. Do what works for your family. 🌹

Do you not go to friends/family or outdoor attractions at all on the weekends? What about play dates/ children's parties etc?

Staying at home every weekend doesn't sound normal or healthy to me.

I would be bored but if it works for you that's fine, as long as you are ready to change things up if your children ask to see people and go places (which at least one of them will at some point).

But don’t you have any friends to go and see? Don’t you go on trips or travel, go to the cinema, theatre, fetes, every go and do anything different? It sounds really dull. Kids need time at home chilling 100%, but they also need new experiences, exercise, nature and friendships.

This
sounds very boring for your kids