To stay at home every weekend ?

[Woolygreyowl]

Is this weird / wrong?

Dc are at nursery / school all week. Each has one extra curricular activity a week. We walk (3 year old still uses buggy) but that’s still plenty of fresh air.

Every weekend we stay at home - the dc have toys / arts and crafts / the garden. It’s time to relax and do things at our own pace. They have a nice time and so do we. MIL has heavily criticised my parenting and SIL (who is a childcare practitioner don’t you know 🙄) thinks I’m affecting their ‘social and emotional development’ (?wtf!) because we are at home every weekend??!

Up to you - there’s no right and wrong, and the children see people in the week.

When I’ve tried this it makes me a bit depressed- I think I’m an introvert but I’m obviously not fully as having no variety or change of scene every weekend is too much for me.

But it’s down to what you and your children like - and you’ll be saving a lot of money this way!

I don't think most people are going to forests, beaches and farms for the sake of it at weekends, are they? If these things are nearby, great. If not, there are holidays and school break time.

We learned to cycle in the garden initially, whether on weekdays or at weekends I really could not say.

Most children did not go to restaurants until very recently. That's an expensive learning activity. If they learn to eat at table with good manners at home, they'll transfer that skillset to a restaurant no problem when the time comes.

People are different but a menu of farms, sea, forest, restaurant etc specifically as weekend learning activity for kids wouldn't be universal or anything like it.

If everyone’s happy and it works for you, I don’t see the problem.
i think it’s quite unusual though and don’t know anyone else who does this, it sounds really limiting. Of course we have some weekends where we don’t have plans, like this one actually. Ds and I went swimming this morning and dh went and did some shopping for garden stuff. Mil popped by for a coffee. No plans for the rest of the weekend either but we will definitely leave the house for some reason or other.
We work hard all week and the weekends are the time where we can do things we don’t have time for Monday-Friday so tend to make the most of it.
I love a relaxing weekend but even with no plans couldn’t stand not leaving the house at all, it’s not lockdown!!

I occasionally love a weekend at home, but every weekend? No. Why can’t you all meet up with your MIL and go for cake?

She wants to go with just her son apparently!

So what’s the issue then? He can go for an hour and you can stay at home?

One sec, so you don't even allow one of you to go out for a coffee at the weekend?

This all sounds suffocating to me.

Unstructured play is so important for child development. There are so many studies and books on this. Carry on!

I think it's ok if they're doing stuff in the holidays, especially at their ages. But when they get to 5/6/7 and they have to start writing 'weekend news' in class, it's nice for them to share that they went swimming, or to a park, or a play date somewhere. There are those who are OTT and think 'busy-ness' is a sign of achievement, but if your children are happy what's there to worry about? As with everything there's a balance to be found.

I think your husband should make time to see his mum every couple of weeks. You are at home the rest of the weekend. If she doesn't want to see you and the kids make the most of it and send him on his own 😂
It all sounds a bit suffocating to me but you do what's best for you. I can understand the comments tbh

I suppose if MIL doesn't need care, it's up to DH whether he sees her at weekend or not. No indication that he is locked in a cellar with the kids by the dastardly OP, but if so, yes do release him OP.

Seems a bit of a red herring where the child development question is concerned.

Dh goes to the gym both mornings but early , he sometimes goes out with his brother on a sat eve to the pub but MIL has been demanding a lot of his time and we see her during the week !

SIL should know better, home and being with you is proven to be the best place for our children.

After a busy week out the house, I can't think of anything better than spending two quiet days as a family.

It's like people have learnt nothing from all those lockdowns

MIL does get easily irritated by the dc and I think that’s why she is saying just dh, she likes things to her schedule and to take her time and add things so it would end up going for coffee but then she would need to be taken to the shops or to run some other errand etc. DH literally gets back from the gym as the dc are eating breakfast and he likes the time with them

and "unstructured play" is only possible stuck in your own house because...?

What do you think people who don't stay home at the weekend do? It doesn't have to be Legoland every time. It's a mix of kids parties, sports, clubs, weekend away just as much as a day in a NT place, a day in the forest or on the beach.

As as I said earlier, do whatever works for you. Staying for me is only when someone is sick - or an hour or 2 if there are chores to finish.

I wouldn't keep my dog all day at home, even if our garden is reasonably big, so I sure wouldn't force it on my kids!

I always find it funny when people sound bitter and start attacking those who prefer going out. Mine sleep better when they have a chance to run around and the garden doesn't compare to anywhere we can go instead.

@Chanelbasketballandchain the irony is your back is up because this lady does things differently, you sound quite bitter in your own post!

This feels like two separate issues though. Whats the real issue?

The MIL wants to see her son on his own at the weekend when he wants to have family time

or

Your SIL and MIL say you need to take the kids out more on the weekends?

I think you have have it just right Woolygreyowl, as they get older other things will come ,but for now just let them enjoy their imaginations and crafts. Mine used to love dens, washing their bikes ,prams etc., making 'towns' outside with twigs stuck in the lawn and little box houses and forget finger painting- feet are far more fun. Happy kids -happy life......

Enjoy your chilled weekends. When my children were little we did have lots of summer weekend days in the garden. They would spend hours outside making potions with bits of plant cuttings. They also did shows. We often had neighbouring children in the garden too - it was lovely. I do remember some simple day outs too. This was more for me as I found it a little claustrophobic 2 days at home with very small children.

I think we mixed it up a little, although I like staying at home now the children do their own thing! Today, I've just been to the supermarket and had a nap.

It's been lovely!

Lucky dc. Your lives sound balanced and healthy. Dc are learning to enjoy play and using their imagination (like we did inThe Olde Worlde Times). Without being carted off to this and that and everyone ending up frazzled

Sounds lovely, and frankly many people could do with learning the art off doing nothing. Why work so hard to provide a good home if you spend all of your time out of it?
I think the main thing is that it doesn't become stifling. We all know those families that never stop, but we also all know those who are afraid of the world and never have an adventure.

All weekend, every weekend is far too much I think. I usually have a chilled day and a day we do something (even if it's just the park or shopping). The only time we'd spend an entire weekend in the house would be if we were ill or we'd had a couple of really busy weekends. My kids all play football though so my weekends are forever filled with matches so it's rare we get one to relax. I like to go out and socialise too so often get a babysitter and go out with friends. You do you though, just don't be surprised when your kids get older, you have to do more.

read my posts? Why should I be bitter?

It doesn't mean that I have to agree that I am having a detrimental effect on my children's development or well being because we dislike being stuck in the house all day, let alone all weekend when there's so much to do outside 😂

Sounds lovely, and frankly many people could do with learning the art off doing nothing. Why work so hard to provide a good home if you spend all of your time out of it?

Home is a base, it's important but it's not everything.

We all had at least 2 lockdown to live through, they only confirmed what I thought before, house arrest is a punishment, not a treat

I personally couldn't.
We go out each day. Even if just to visit family. A park or something.
But each to their own