To be raging against DH?

[H13]

I know in the grand scheme of things this will seem very minor but I am so angry I can't get past it.

Our little girl is 9 months old, she struggles with her sleep so exclusively contact naps on me in the day (otherwise she genuinely wouldn't nap). She is better at night but her top teeth are coming through so this past week its been taking ages for her to fall asleep.

At 9pm tonight I'd finally got her to drift off when my husband accidentally made a loud noise and she woke up. I was a bit annoyed and we had a sort of jokey argument while I got her back to sleep again. Once she was finally off I stood up to put her in the cot and he purposefully made another loud noise to wind me up. This time she woke up crying and refused to go back to sleep.

She has only just managed to go back to sleep nearly 4 hours later. I understand it was an ill timed joke but I genuinely can't look at him. He apologised when he did it and said he thought I'd laugh but then left me to try and get her to sleep whilst he went on the computer. He only came off it two hours ago and even then wasn't much help and just kept saying she never sleeps for him.

I just get no time to myself, the only time I can scroll on my phone or read and just switch off is when she's asleep. I give him so much time to himself and never complain. I'm honestly so so mad at him I've made him sleep on the couch. AIBU?

No. He was being a dick.

The only thing you're unreasonable about is not complaining more. He sure as hell wouldn't be joking about making loud noises if he knew he'd be the one up with her for 4+ hours.

He needs to learn how to settle her.

Might I suggest you go down at 3am and bang a couple of woks together right by his stupid moronic skull? Just a joke of course.

Ridiculous behaviour. You have two babies.

YABU for not handing her over to him immediately. She'll start settling for him if you make it a regular practice.

And yes, he's a dick.

Sad but true ! Communication is key.

You haven’t communicated how you feel. You’ve made him sleep on the sofa and despised him and also doubted yourself !

Could you have addressed it ?

I know online it’s easy to say this and that - but just back to basics and believe in yourself !

If my DH had done this I'd have quite happily murdered him, never mind just sleeping on the sofa 😂 My little one was such an awful sleeper too so I completely empathise with how you're feeling.

If it took you 4 hours to resettle her, then new rule- if he hasn’t tried for 4 hours straight then he doesn’t get to say baby prefers you. I nominate he gets 4 hours straight of baby settling every night for the next week, because that was a total asshe move.
but you need to be more assertive to get this- so he was on the computer, hand him baby say she’s yours too, you woke her you settle her. I’m going to bed, I’ve decided it’s long past time I had some husband support and I’m going to get it from now on so I get some sleep.

Yup. Dick.

Why didn’t you just ask him to settle her? He’s her dad, he woke her, he can snuggle her back to sleep.

The “she doesn’t settle for me” doesn’t make sense. Turns out she doesn’t settle for you either. So take it in turns.

The motto in our house was

you wake them, you take them

it makes all the adults take responsibility for their actions

I'd have handed him to her and gone to bed. He'll figure out how to get her to sleep eventually - after all you had to do it.

What a stupid twat he is though. I could only imagine a 14 year old thinking that would be funny.

Also sorry, but it is quite a cruel thing to do to your daughter too. Does he think she is a toy or something? babies are like the rest of us humans - they don't like being woken up by loud noises when they are in pain and have just managed to get to sleep - I'd be livid.

Rage away - what a fucking arse
He genuinely hasn't got a clue what it's like does he? Inconsiderate twat

He’s a massive twat, you should’ve handed over baby settling responsibilities to him the second he did that and gone to bed.

He should be trying to settle her. He has to at least try for a couple of hours each day.

I’d have murdered him. Unfair on you and also the baby.
I’d be accidentally waking him up when he was asleep and we would have lots of power cuts.

On a conplete sidenote, when ours had so much pain we used some painrelief before trying to get them to sleep at night. Good luck, this is tough!

YANBU that he is awful. He needs to do more to learn to settle your DD. You need to go out and leave him to it sometimes. Even spend a night somewhere else and leave him to learn how to do it. Yes you might not sleep much for worry but he will learn how to handle her (or at the very least learn why not to wake her up after she's got to sleep!)

You should have handed the baby to him and told him he was responsible for settling her again. How dare he play on the computer while you try to fix his mistake. I'm thinking that he probably behaves badly in many spheres of your life. I mean, did he really think you'd laugh? Was there anything funny about this?

Is he particularly stupid?

I would have handed the baby over and walked out.

This.

I'm feeling the red boiling rage just reading this. I'm actually having to take some deep breaths.

He doesn't understand how soul-destroying this is because it doesn't impact him. It's really convenient for him that she "never sleeps for him."
I couldn't be in the same room as him for a while.

What does any of that mean?

👏