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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I refuse reception settling in days if I can?

234 replies

Jiski · 23/05/2024 20:06

Hi,

Has anyone ever gotten their child to stay full time when it’s supposed to be a settling in day. Can you do it? How did you do it?

I’ve read on an old post that it was possible, but the link to government guidance doesn’t work and I don’t know if I just can’t find it or if it’s outdated advice now.

My son already goes to nursery full time and does lots of other activities like Squirrels and swimming so he’s used to long days. Also, I don’t think he needs to settle in as he’s been to playgroup at the school a number of times and should be in a class with 3 of his nursery friends.

FYI I don’t have any annual leave left as my annual leave year resets in November.

Thanks

OP posts:
WittyFatball · 23/05/2024 20:08

Yes, you just need to tell the school you can't accommodate part time. They be able to sort something out, for example him going into the Year 1 or Nursery class for some of the day.

sheoaouhra · 23/05/2024 20:11

But if you mess up the timetable, then you mess it up for all the other children in the class too, someone else cant have their turn in a short session with a very small class - the school should not be taking your child full time if that is not what is planned and in place.

BecuaseIWantItThatWay · 23/05/2024 20:12

It's really important to phase these transitions, even if your son is used to full time childcare, it's a different environment with different care givers and that's a lot to ask of a young child to immediately be OK with.

Could you take a week of unpaid parental leave for this purpose? UK parents are entitled to 18 weeks per child.

https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

Unpaid parental leave

Employer and employee guide to unpaid parental leave - eligibility, how much leave can be taken and notice periods

https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

Reugny · 23/05/2024 20:12

BecuaseIWantItThatWay · 23/05/2024 20:12

It's really important to phase these transitions, even if your son is used to full time childcare, it's a different environment with different care givers and that's a lot to ask of a young child to immediately be OK with.

Could you take a week of unpaid parental leave for this purpose? UK parents are entitled to 18 weeks per child.

https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

BS.

Original poster
Jiski · 23/05/2024 20:13

unfortunately that would be completely unaffordable

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 23/05/2024 20:14

Most schools where I am tend to do a sensible level of settling in (they stagger start dates but everyone starts FT, unless otherwise requested) but it's not the schools problem you don't have any annual leave left.

Its a long time from now until November, how are you planning to cover illness for example?

Original poster
Jiski · 23/05/2024 20:14

I’ve got holidays booked and I get sick leave

OP posts:
Parker231 · 23/05/2024 20:16

You are legally entitled to send them full time from day one - we did. Settling in days would have been more disruptive to the routine they were already use to.
I sent an email to the school and it wasn’t a problem. They were with their teacher in class from that first day.

If you and your DH both work full time, don’t waste your holiday entitlement unnecessarily - you’ll need the time off for school holidays.

ChanWork · 23/05/2024 20:16

What's your plan for after school care? Will they take him earlier in the day?
I had a childminder and she did the early pick up as she was going to be having Dc after school anyway.

WittyFatball · 23/05/2024 20:17

Crunchymum · 23/05/2024 20:14

Most schools where I am tend to do a sensible level of settling in (they stagger start dates but everyone starts FT, unless otherwise requested) but it's not the schools problem you don't have any annual leave left.

Its a long time from now until November, how are you planning to cover illness for example?

Kind of is the school's problem if they are requesting the parent keeps their child home?
The school is funded for a full time place.

Reugny · 23/05/2024 20:18

My DDs school wanted her to do 3 part days to settle in.

She was in PT childcare since she was 10 months and then FT from when she was 3.

To cut along story short the class teachers (she has 2 as they do different days) agreed that she could stay full-time if she was happy. She was so did.

On the other hand we know children whose parents wanted them to go PT for the first term to two terms for various reasons. The children were FT from the beginning at their schools Again it took the individual reception teachers to agree that was best for those individual children.

Blankname22 · 23/05/2024 20:18

I asked the same question at the school open day. The head basically looked at me like I was nuts and maybe a cold hearted parent to even consider it.
He empathised the settling in process. I said it doesn't suit working parents like me. I also asked could it be optional and he laughed. Then I asked could be be spread over a week instead of two and he said no and walked away.
I suspect it's more a settling in process for the teacher, allow them to set up the room in peace, gather resources to suit the class and arrange assistants. And probably mentally build up the hours so they also cope with the new group of children.

WittyFatball · 23/05/2024 20:22

Blankname22 · 23/05/2024 20:18

I asked the same question at the school open day. The head basically looked at me like I was nuts and maybe a cold hearted parent to even consider it.
He empathised the settling in process. I said it doesn't suit working parents like me. I also asked could it be optional and he laughed. Then I asked could be be spread over a week instead of two and he said no and walked away.
I suspect it's more a settling in process for the teacher, allow them to set up the room in peace, gather resources to suit the class and arrange assistants. And probably mentally build up the hours so they also cope with the new group of children.

I bet the head isn't allowing any of the teachers or TAs at his school to have September off the settle their children in thought! They'll be the ones whose children have to go full time from 1st September.

Original poster
Jiski · 23/05/2024 20:22

We don’t need/haven’t requested wrap around care as my husband and I have sorted out flexible working hours.

OP posts:
OhYoko · 23/05/2024 20:22

Blankname22 · 23/05/2024 20:18

I asked the same question at the school open day. The head basically looked at me like I was nuts and maybe a cold hearted parent to even consider it.
He empathised the settling in process. I said it doesn't suit working parents like me. I also asked could it be optional and he laughed. Then I asked could be be spread over a week instead of two and he said no and walked away.
I suspect it's more a settling in process for the teacher, allow them to set up the room in peace, gather resources to suit the class and arrange assistants. And probably mentally build up the hours so they also cope with the new group of children.

It's not for the teacher though, is it? It's not like teachers have the privilege of building up to taking on a whole new group of kids with other year groups. It's for the kids!

Fine if you want to not do it and the school legs you, but it's not for the teachers.

WittyFatball · 23/05/2024 20:23

Reugny · 23/05/2024 20:18

My DDs school wanted her to do 3 part days to settle in.

She was in PT childcare since she was 10 months and then FT from when she was 3.

To cut along story short the class teachers (she has 2 as they do different days) agreed that she could stay full-time if she was happy. She was so did.

On the other hand we know children whose parents wanted them to go PT for the first term to two terms for various reasons. The children were FT from the beginning at their schools Again it took the individual reception teachers to agree that was best for those individual children.

When children start school under compulsory school age, it's the parents choice to send them part time - the individual teacher or school doesn't have to agree.

Smartiepants79 · 23/05/2024 20:23

What are school suggesting as the transition?
If it’s only the first week is there really no way you can accommodate this? Family, friends?
The move to school is a big deal. You are potentially going to have a situation where your 4 year old is going to be spending half his first week, on his own being shuttled around to random other classes.
In my school there is only 1 reception class. The time in the first week that they are not in school is spent on home visits. The eyfs staff are not in the building.
If it’s just a few days I’d strongly advise you try and make it work.

coupdetonnerre · 23/05/2024 20:25

Get someone to watch your child at home OP. I don't understand why you need to make things difficult for the nursery from day 1. Is it a private Nursery?

TinyYellow · 23/05/2024 20:25

The school has a lot of experience of settling children into school, it is not the same as nursery. Some schools do go over the top with half days for weeks but you mentioned a day? How long is your child supposed to be settling in for?

Tbh, I think starting school is a big enough event in a child’s life that it’s worth taking the time off work for.

ZipZapZoom · 23/05/2024 20:25

Yes you can send them full-time from day 1. The school isn't allowed to refuse.

Oblomov24 · 23/05/2024 20:26

I asked to go full time asap. I already knew the rules that they basically couldn't refuse me. 2 x 1/2 days, then full time.

spanieleyes · 23/05/2024 20:27

We have settling in days in the summer term, then straight in full time in September.

Reugny · 23/05/2024 20:28

WittyFatball · 23/05/2024 20:23

When children start school under compulsory school age, it's the parents choice to send them part time - the individual teacher or school doesn't have to agree.

Show quote history

Not all the children were 4. They had other reasons they required that flexibility. If you look at general school admissions policies some of the children fell in those groups.

olympicsrock · 23/05/2024 20:29

You are being perfectly reasonable.
The school is paid for and staffed to have them there full time.
Some children need a settling period , some don’t. Neither of mine did , it was optional.
It makes it easier for the teachers if they have few kids the first week. Do what you need to do.

BecuaseIWantItThatWay · 23/05/2024 20:29

Reugny · 23/05/2024 20:12

BS.

Show quote history

😂

Which point, the need for transition or the ability to take unpaid parental leave?