Should I refuse reception settling in days if I can?

[Jiski]

Hi,

Has anyone ever gotten their child to stay full time when it’s supposed to be a settling in day. Can you do it? How did you do it?

I’ve read on an old post that it was possible, but the link to government guidance doesn’t work and I don’t know if I just can’t find it or if it’s outdated advice now.

My son already goes to nursery full time and does lots of other activities like Squirrels and swimming so he’s used to long days. Also, I don’t think he needs to settle in as he’s been to playgroup at the school a number of times and should be in a class with 3 of his nursery friends.

FYI I don’t have any annual leave left as my annual leave year resets in November.

Thanks

Totally agree. It’s unnecessary and outdated. The children then expect tondi short days and go home. They are devastated when it becomes full time. Most if not all have been to nursery/ pre-school. Send them full days or keep at nursery till strange settling in is over. All schools where I live have now stopped this.

that approach is fine in my opinion but I’ve heard of schools doing three or four weeks or short days and in some cases even up to the October half term, that’s when it bei ces impossible to accommodate for working parents. Not sure what the op situation is

These long drawn out staggered starts do seem ridiculous - my kids school do 2 half days then full time. Surely keeping changing things is more disruptive? I'd ask for full time if you can.

However OP, I think you need to be more careful not to both book up all your annual leave this early in future as presumably you don't even have a calendar of when inset days will be yet, and your sick leave doesn't cover your child being ill and unable to go to school or emergency school closures from power cuts or whatever.

Hard for teachers who don't get any annual leave though!

If school won't change it, Do you have a relative who could help, even if it meant them coming to stay for a few days? If not I guess you are going to have to have one of you take parental leave and duck up the cost somehow. It's hard though.

Back in the mid 1990s one of mine had a term of mornings only as she was a March birthday ,my second had half a term of mornings only as her bday was October ...end of Feb birthday was the cut off between the two !!!

I think it's important to reiterate this very valid point.

There is no evidence to back up a part-time transition being beneficial. It's largely done because the school 'has always done it that way'.

All those saying it's good for the children are in my professional and personal experience talking nonsense. It's not based on the fact it's better for them at all and as I and others who work in schools have pointed out on this thread a prolonged drawn out process actually makes the children less settled.

Have you talked to the school? They vary a lot, like pp, we had a few settling in days in July and FT from day 1 in September wit optional early finish. We had a home visit from a teacher and TA together before first child started, not with second but not sure if that was because they already knew us ir because they no longer did them. Each school does things differently just talk to them.

“Gotten”

Our school got rid of most of this this year. All the children join the class from local nurseries and preschools, most from the same setting next door. I think they did 2 half days in the summer and then two in september then full time.

It was fine.

We all need to settle in. To a new job, new home, new situation. He needs to get his bearings and start making friends. He needs to settle in. Please make it work for him.

Our school the reception teacher actually said it was better for the children to have clear understanding that its full days from day 1.

Yes and to settle in he needs to experience the whole school day. He needs to understand the routine of going to school, having lunch and leaving at the end of the day. He needs the consistency of every day being the same not chopping and changing and some of the kids not being in or not eating dinner on Monday but eating it on Tuesday etc.

Routines are so important in helping them settle so how can days or weeks of uncertainty help him do that effectively?

My ds's nursery offered half days to help cover the transition period although of course you would have to transport between the two. Would that be an option?

But children can't truly settle into a situation until they're in full time and with a full class. Settling into a class of 10 and leaving at lunchtime isn't helpful when the reality is a class of 30 and full days.

And that's before we get to the the random people collecting, and confusion over why they're at school today, but then off for 2 days. Then back at nursery for a day, before another half a school day, and then being collected by great uncle Jim as both of their parents are at work.

Just send him in OP.

There'll be others doing the same, the evidence that short days are beneficial is absent, it doesn't work for you and your family and he's already well used to nursery.

In my experience, the staff aren't just sat around doing nothing on those half days, they're doing home visits and preparing for the new term. The school won't just take your child because half days are inconvenient for you - they're inconvenient for lots of people but they make arrangements (I used a childminder, other people asked family or friends).

Well said.

I honestly don't understand why people keep saying settling in sessions and staggered starts are beneficial. They're not, and most EYFS staff realise children cope better when they have routines and consistency, which won't happen until they start full time and with a full class.

The school have no choice but to take him. They are not doing the OP a favour. He's entitled to be there full time from day 1 and pretending otherwise is misleading and why parents don't feel like they can argue against the pointless settling in process some schools still operate.

you just need to sort something. unpaid leave, work around it with DH, as family or friends. I get it is a total pain but it's your problem to sort...

It isn't OP's problem to sort. The school need to offer a full time place from day 1.

Only if he's already 5 - in this country compulsory school age is the term after the child turns 5, so legally school don't need to provide the 39 weeks of schooling until then (nor do parents have to have their child in education until then). It may be inconvenient, but it's true, I know because parents in my child's year challenged it and failed.

not until 5. ours refused.

It's not from when they are 5 that's just completely inaccurate. They are entitled to a full time space from the September they turn 4. The documentation couldn't be clearer.

Only if he's already 5 - in this country compulsory school age is the term after the child turns 5, so legally school don't need to provide the 39 weeks of schooling until then

That's not correct. Compulsory school age is separate to the age at which schools are required to offer a full time place. The age a child is required to be there doesn't equal the age at which the school is required to provide a full time place.

When my son started school 14 years ago, he had 6 weeks of part time as a summer born. Luckily I was on maternity leave but he thought he had done something wrong as he wasn't allowed to stay for lunch with the other kids. It made transition to school harder for him. Fortunately, it was optional 4 years later, so my younger one was full time from day one.

I can't believe the staggered starts thing is so ongoing. Dd is 18 and started school after all the weeks of faffing about (mornings/afternoons/leave before lunch then leave after lunch) had been completed. It was fine.

Ds is 16 and had to do the start, headteacher acted like I was mad saying it was so much better as kids got tired and weren't upset in afternoon. For two weeks he had to be picked up halfway through day walk home then walk back and home again after collecting his sister. He was exhausted from the extra school run walk and just cried with me instead. Much happier when in school properly.

Poor ds 10 was collected by the hodge podge of my friends as I had a new job... Ending at 2.30 daily so I could be there after school every day as he needed more attention. But I couldn't then leave at 12 for two weeks.