Should I refuse reception settling in days if I can?

[Jiski]

Hi,

Has anyone ever gotten their child to stay full time when it’s supposed to be a settling in day. Can you do it? How did you do it?

I’ve read on an old post that it was possible, but the link to government guidance doesn’t work and I don’t know if I just can’t find it or if it’s outdated advice now.

My son already goes to nursery full time and does lots of other activities like Squirrels and swimming so he’s used to long days. Also, I don’t think he needs to settle in as he’s been to playgroup at the school a number of times and should be in a class with 3 of his nursery friends.

FYI I don’t have any annual leave left as my annual leave year resets in November.

Thanks

I think I’ve gotten confused here. I thought by settling in days the op was referring to what my DDs school call taster days. The children visit the school before the summer holidays, usually June here and have one or 2 half days getting to know the school and setting. It’s usually one half day leaving before lunch then a 2nd leaving after lunch so they can experience what it’s like in a busy lunch hall.

Is the op referring to half days in September? That totally changed my response. Our school do full days from day one but allows those children who might not cope to finish early if need be, which I think is the best way to do it.

I'm really interested in this thread, having just caught up.

I'm in Ireland, my DC are teens now but all had staggered starts / finishes over a few weeks.

Yes, a pain, but I think worthwhile - it's exhausting for them (and all of mine were in crèche & Montessori before starting school so well used to being in school-like settings). School is just a big step up.

I have never heard of anyone requesting full days from the start - I don't think it's a provision here. Plenty of parents were quite exercised about the staggered times though.

I work f/t, single parent. My minder picked up earlier, I juggled work hours & took leave. It wasn't easy but was ok.

I understand it's very hard for some - I've never known of anyone who was unable to get a degree of flexibility in work to accommodate this to at least a workable level.

I understand it's very hard for some - I've never known of anyone who was unable to get a degree of flexibility in work to accommodate this to at least a workable level.

The ironic thing is the ones with the least amount of flexibility are the teachers. Let's be honest there would be uproar if a teacher took the first few weeks off to settle their own kids in.

A poster above said earlier they'd only had a handful of kids start full time in the last few years, two of which were children of the staff. It's funny how they didn't afford those same staff the flexibility they demand of all the other parents. Surely if it was for the benefit of the children they would be encouraging those staff to do half days to support their children's oh so important transition...

Here in my part of Scotland they start 9-3 from day 1. Works fine too. It is a big step up but I think many are fine with full days and in this day in age when most parents have to work it is a huge inconvenience.

DS is 20 and it was half days till Xmas, total nightmare and completely unnecessary. My DN who is about to be 23 didn't start until Xmas then half days.

I wish we had been able to insist on ft.

Where I am, parents would have DC in afterschool or with a minder, who'd be happy to do the earlier pickups

I'm not saying it's not an issue in the UK, as I don't know. But in Ireland it's in the category of 'a bit of a pain but ok' and just lasts a couple of weeks.

In the UK it would be for many just as I've described it. Unless you had a childminder before they started school you wouldn't able to just find one for the settling in process and they wouldn't be able to access after-school provision because it starts after the school day ends not at 12 or what ever random time they are finishing that day.

The point is the OP and her child are entitled to a full time place on their first day. The fact some schools try to guilt parents into sending them part time for a while claiming it's in their best interests etc is redundant. She's entitled to that place and therefore should not be prevented from taking it up.

Not sure after school provision would help, since it's school hours that would need to be covered? If you had to cover it through paid childcare, you'd be looking at a CM or maybe nursery who had a space during the day that they'd be willing to use on someone who was only going to need it for a short time.

I'm not saying there are no providers in the country who'd do that, but it's not the easiest ask.

This. And the guilt tripping if you can't/ won't comply. And the way that, somehow, mum always ends up being the one contacted.

This culture is a massive barrier to women pursuing their careers to a point where they can achieve equity with men, and needs challenging.

We don't really have settling in at the school my daughter will go to.
Normal school is 8:50-3:20.
Settling in period is from Weds when term and Thursday 9:10 - 3pm. Then full hours on Friday.
So literally cutting 20 mins from start and end of school for 2 days

As an aside - I'll be requesting part time for my child for the first term at least.

My daughter's year went full time from day 1 in response to parental feedback. Teachers only knew them from a handful of transitional visits the term before. They all coped absolutely fine.

My daughter will turn 5 in the first week of reception. She will be absolutely champing at the bit for the stimulation of school and there's no way I'm dragging it out with a settling-in period.

This is the same for my son. He’s already too old for his nursery class. We do lots activities like kickboxing, tennis, squirrels and swimming but he needs more. He can already read 3 letter phonic words and can count quite high up. I wish I could have sent him a year early.

Omg that’s crazy. If it was until xmas I would lose my sh..t!

Can I ask why you’re only sending your DC part time - they will miss a lot of key learning and friendships

I think a lot of children get like this for the last term of nursery, mines already desperate to go to big school and mentions it a lot. He'd be genuinely set back way more in his settling in if he had to go back to nursery rather than attend F2 full time once he'd started at school.

I hope you and the others do all send your kids full time. As I've said more than once on this thread it's genuinely never been an issue in any class I've taught that they are all in straight away.

@Parker231 she's still only 3. She will be 4 and a few months when starting reception. She has some other difficulties too and she genuinely wouldn't cope with a full day.
If she is suddenly able to over the summer holidays then I wouldn't be averse to sending her. It's more likely that she'll go every morning, eat lunch there and then we'll pick her up. Gradually increase the afternoon

This is such a good point. If schools want to pretend that settling in days and a long transition period is for the benefit of the children, then a teacher who is also a parent should be allowed time off to support a staggered start. But we all know that doesn't happen, because parents would rightly complain if their child was missing a teacher for several days / weeks.

I suspect that the majority of teachers who are also parents, would happily send their children full time from the start. As they know that consistency and routines are important, and that a mix of half days and children being collected by random friends / family members is going to be incredibly confusing for young children.

If schools want to pretend that settling in days and a long transition period is for the benefit of the children, then a teacher who is also a parent should be allowed time off to support a staggered start.

Indeed it won't happen as you've noted there would be parents complaining left right and centre. However, it was noticeable how that poster made the point that of the 4 who had been full time from day 1 two of them had been the children of staff which did rather emphasis the overarching point that it wasn't actually in the best interests of the children.

DD and DS attend same school. When DD started we were told a gradual start was a requirement but several parents said it wasn’t possible for them, including me, and so about 1/2 the students were full time from day one.

when DS started they made the offer of choosing and again it was about 50/50. Its a 3 class entry so quite a large school.

I remember my primary in the 80s. Autumn born children started school in September, Spring born in January and the summer babies in May.
Even though learning was more relaxed and play based I still think it really disadvantaged some of my friends who went to Yr 1 expectations with a just a few months of school experience. The rest of us had been learning to read in a small class for two terms more. They also often just weren’t used to focusing on a group at all at carpet time. Many of them lagged in the lower groups through primary.
That was the extreme end !

Wow I am an 80s child and we all started full time in September

I have a similar dilemma. Our school has a 3 week settling in period of shorter days (a complete mix of timings - some mornings, some afternoons, some lunchtimes)

I cannot take 3 weeks annual leave in September. I also have a 6 year old so have 13 weeks of school holidays to cover as well.
I can't really justify taking any annual leave outside of the school hols so just don't know how to cover the staggered start for my youngest. I took annual leave for the eldest but when you have older kids it's really hard to manage. Especially as it means doing 4 school drop offs / picks ups a day as they are all at different times.

All three of my kids started reception full time with no staggering - whole year group chucked in at once - and they all started at different primary schools!

I remember feeling quite bad for my PFB at the time, as he'd only been going to preschool three mornings a week beforehand and was exhausted the first week. He soon adjusted though!

3 weeks! Fuck that honestly I'd be emailing the school asap regarding my child starting full time from day one of term. How can anyone think that level of disruption and lack of routine is done with the child's interests at the centre?