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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that those private school parents banging on about their fees

1000 replies

Thegreatergoodgerald · 23/05/2024 11:23

Seriously have misjudged how little anyone else gives a stuff??? NHS, social care, state education, public transport, bloody potholes everywhere - that’s what matters to everyone I know.
Not whether or not VAT is added to a business.

YANBU - it’s hardly the end of the world if Clemmie or Charles end up going to a state school. We have bigger things to worry about in the U.K. right now

YABU - of course everyone cares private school parents might have to pay more

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
Willyoujustbequiet · 23/05/2024 21:31

Tospyornottospy · 23/05/2024 21:22

MN is incredibly left leaning. I don’t think this is accurate whatsoever.

Just googled. Ipsos has it at only 18% opposed.

It seems cut and dried for the general public.

Tospyornottospy · 23/05/2024 21:32

PrincessTeaSet · 23/05/2024 21:28

I am sure some people do pick schools on that basis. I was saying that most don't (not in the state sector anyway!) I don't think you understood my point.

You seem to automatically assume that the best state schools serve only rich people. This is not the case. You will find a mix of backgrounds in any state school, due to the fact that they take from a local area and not from a group who can afford huge fees

Also school applications are handled by the council with no input from the school. It's a transparent process according to set criteria. You can't get in by making a donation.

I agree with you entirely that behaviour is hugely important. Private schools simply get rid of difficult pupils which state schools cant. I think most parents do support their children's homework and reading though, whatever their financial background.

I can absolutely guarantee if all the private schools changed tomorrow the way things happened would change.

in the most polite way, it’s naive to think people wouldn’t be able to bribe and by their way in, through whatever means necessary. If someone is saving 100k a year or whatever on school fees they are going to have money to burn on all sorts of things which will increase inequality.

Polishedshoesalways · 23/05/2024 21:32

Willyoujustbequiet · 23/05/2024 21:31

Just googled. Ipsos has it at only 18% opposed.

It seems cut and dried for the general public.

That’s because the general public have no idea of the impact on their own children.

Labraradabrador · 23/05/2024 21:32

Beansticks · 23/05/2024 21:19

Because of the inequalities it brings- privately educated kids are over represented in the top unis and jobs.

Is that due to the school or due to parental involvement and network? The biggest determinant of future wealth is the wealth of your parents, NOT school. On the other hand, when disadvantaged children are given access to schools with a wealthier demographic (private or state) they are more likely to achieve upward mobility. If you care about lifting up the most disadvantaged, the data would support efforts to bring more of these students into private.

Wewereonnabreak · 23/05/2024 21:32

Lilmaubetden · 23/05/2024 20:51

Thank you and I agree. It is depressing. But I also think it explains a lot about why this country is in the state it’s in.

You are absolutely right.

Tospyornottospy · 23/05/2024 21:33

Willyoujustbequiet · 23/05/2024 21:31

Just googled. Ipsos has it at only 18% opposed.

It seems cut and dried for the general public.

But who are they asking?

also I don’t really think it matters in reality how many people oppose or not. It’s like how the majority voted for brexit but that doesn’t mean it was a good idea.

someone needs to actually do the maths on this, rather than just trying to get voters on board.

PrincessTeaSet · 23/05/2024 21:33

Charlie2121 · 23/05/2024 21:08

Min wage 11.44/hr x 40 = 457.60/week

457.6 x 52 = 23,795

23,795 x 2 = 47,590 for a couple

They pay barely 2k income tax each meaning they take home over 40k between them.

They also receive child benefit if they have children, funded childcare hours etc

No idea where you get the figure of 34k from.

Think you're forgetting NI

Tospyornottospy · 23/05/2024 21:33

Labraradabrador · 23/05/2024 21:32

Is that due to the school or due to parental involvement and network? The biggest determinant of future wealth is the wealth of your parents, NOT school. On the other hand, when disadvantaged children are given access to schools with a wealthier demographic (private or state) they are more likely to achieve upward mobility. If you care about lifting up the most disadvantaged, the data would support efforts to bring more of these students into private.

absolutely

EasternStandard · 23/05/2024 21:33

Willyoujustbequiet · 23/05/2024 21:31

Just googled. Ipsos has it at only 18% opposed.

It seems cut and dried for the general public.

Because people can’t think it through and of course get the rich works

It doesn’t mean it will be good for state education

crumblingschools · 23/05/2024 21:34

Will look forward to threads after this policy to see how improved state schools are and how inequalities have been ironed out. I would really love to be proved wrong but this policy is not going to do what people hope it will

Polishedshoesalways · 23/05/2024 21:34

Wewereonnabreak · 23/05/2024 21:32

You are absolutely right.

I agree too. The race to the bottom is pitiful. Who the hell do they think is paying all of the taxes for schools, hospitals, benefits etc ??? What happens when these very people decide enough is enough en masse?

Tospyornottospy · 23/05/2024 21:35

whistleblower99 · 23/05/2024 21:27

This. MN is FULL of people who don’t work for whatever reason. Literally patting each other on the back all day. Left leaning because naturally - it’s someone else’s money. The entitlement is off the charts. We do have a majority of state dependence though.

Thank you for this - I agree and it’s given me the motivation to get myself off this thread and off MN this evening😀 echo chamber of bitterness and resentment. I’ll try not to let the chips on the shoulders hit me on my way out!

PrincessTeaSet · 23/05/2024 21:36

Tospyornottospy · 23/05/2024 21:32

I can absolutely guarantee if all the private schools changed tomorrow the way things happened would change.

in the most polite way, it’s naive to think people wouldn’t be able to bribe and by their way in, through whatever means necessary. If someone is saving 100k a year or whatever on school fees they are going to have money to burn on all sorts of things which will increase inequality.

You think these well paid professionals are going to commit fraud or bribery en masse to get their kids into a state school?

MyrrAgain · 23/05/2024 21:36

Charlie2121 · 23/05/2024 20:03

The whole issue with the proposal is that there are literally no winners so what’s the point of doing it?

Some private school parents have to move their children against their will.

Parents who no longer use PS will reduce earnings and pay less tax

Taxpayers have to fund additional state school places

Increased competition for grammars and the best state schools

Removal of bursaries for lower income families

Likely net cost to tax payer due to additional state pupils + ex PS parents paying less tax

Where are the winners? There are literally none. It takes an almost impossibly incompetent government to suggest the introduction of a policy which benefits not a single person.

indeed. and who benefits from these hypothesised wads of cash from the rich and over privileged PS parents? How much will it be and how exactly will it be spent?
I’ll tell you. No one knows and there won’t be wads of cash going into the state system. It’s the f’ing Brexit Bus bollocks all over again….🙄

Snugglemonkey · 23/05/2024 21:36

anotherside · 23/05/2024 17:37

Incredibly hard? And people on lower incomes don’t. Nah, given the UK’s poor social mobility, I’d wager that the majority of parents sending their kids to private school got a nice leg up from the bank of mum & dad in the form of house deposit and/or paying their university costs and/or family business/contacts etc etc. If anything I’d say private school kids’ parents probably work less hard on average than normal families on average income.

You don't know many private school parents, obviously. Or you imagine they are all millionaires, all private schools are like Eton, etc.

The reality is very different at many schools. Actually, many parents are immigrants. We have several friends who (like us) grew up in council houses. We all know the vital importance of education, because it changed our lives. Many are doctors, accountants, dentists, plenty work in the trades, or are small business owners. Many are self-made and lots work long hours, or more than one job to afford the school.

No one is saying that people on lower incomes do not work hard, but the reality is that many people could afford the fees, but prioritise different things. Holidays, cars, sky bundles, eating out etc.

VeraForever · 23/05/2024 21:37

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whistleblower99 · 23/05/2024 21:37

Tospyornottospy · 23/05/2024 21:35

Thank you for this - I agree and it’s given me the motivation to get myself off this thread and off MN this evening😀 echo chamber of bitterness and resentment. I’ll try not to let the chips on the shoulders hit me on my way out!

It is the same posters sat in their echo chamber of jealousy. If people spent more time actually studying or something instead of being on MN - they may find more opportunities. The Open University exists.

Polishedshoesalways · 23/05/2024 21:38

It’s a nasty spiteful agenda that achieves fuck all and will impoverish more working class children.

Lets raise the bar - what is wrong with that? Why can’t labour invest in schools - why can’t they promise to deliver for all children?

This is just a cheap shot at working people that will only serve to create more inequality.

Porcuine20 · 23/05/2024 21:38

My dd goes to a private secondary school and I haven’t complained once about VAT on school fees as I realise how lucky I am to be able to send her, and not everyone has that option. Not everyone sending children to private school is rich though. We are a very average income household, pay taxes (so are already paying for state education that we don’t use), live in a small, run-down house which was the first and only property we’ve bought, haven’t holidayed abroad since 2009 and are very careful with money. If I didn’t send my (SEN but bright) dd to her small, nurturing private school I am 100% certain I’d be trying to home educate her (so would have to give up work) as she wouldn’t cope in any of our local state schools and they couldn’t meet her needs. The very rich won’t be affected at all - it’ll just hit those who are making huge sacrifices to stretch to private school fees.

SofaThrow · 23/05/2024 21:39

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I've seen some fucking horrible posts on MN over the years but bloody hell....WTAF?

Willyoujustbequiet · 23/05/2024 21:39

SofaThrow · 23/05/2024 21:27

This is not the picture for very any state schools in the country and pretending that all is rosy is not going to help the staff and kids who need it the most.

I'm not pretending everything is rosy. I've acknowledged that previously.

But I'm absolutely fed up with sweeping ignorant statements about state schools - appalling behaviour/poor results/large class sizes/lack of SEN provision.

Its not representative of my experience. Or some others judging by this thread. There are many fantastic state schools that equal and indeed surpass some private ones.

MrsSunshine2b · 23/05/2024 21:39

Tospyornottospy · 23/05/2024 20:59

You completely contradict yourself.

you think there is an old boy’s network, but you don’t think people pick schools based on this?! Come off it.

private school parents will move to areas with the best rated schools and pay extra/bribe/contribute to get their children into them, if the move doesn’t help.

as for the personal attack calling me a snob (lol) - you are the one suggesting people care about money/who knows who.

I care about my children being in a class where children behave themselves and therefore aren’t at risk of violence and are able to learn with other children whose parents have prioritised their learning/bother to do the reading and homework each night. Which happens in private schools or excellent state schools. Not all state schools, that’s for sure.

I went to an independent school and yet I've never once been offered a job or interviewed with anyone I knew or met through private school. I once had an interview with someone and realised part way through I went to Sea Scouts with her son. I didn't get the job. Should my parents ask for their money back, because it seems like I didn't get into the old boys network?

VeraForever · 23/05/2024 21:40

You’re very welcome.

Marjoriefrobisher · 23/05/2024 21:40

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So unpleasant. Really no need.

Barbadossunset · 23/05/2024 21:41

AlwaysMeDoing · Today 19:51
When you read threads on state schools, there are terrible stories from established teachers about violent behaviour, shitty parents, crumbling buildings, staff leaving and lack of resources. Go to a private school thread and state schools are heartwarming melting points of diversity where kids of all backgrounds mix happily together and thrive academically, with a varied programme of extracurricular activities. It’s fascinating.

I agree. And when questioned that if state schools are better why object to private schools, the only answer seems to be the old-boy network.
As a pp has pointed out, networks exist all over the country in all communities. It’s not only privately educated people who pull strings.

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