DP always has to bend the rules. AIBU?

[TravellingSpoon]

I find it embarrasing and so infuriating.

He sees rules as a bit of a 'challenge' and thinks I am a goody goody, but its beginning to really grate on me and it outs me off spending time with him. We have been together just over 2 years, dont live together and live 20ish miles from each other. We see each other a couple of times a week.

Recent examples include.

• we went to an event that said no food/drink would be allowed in. He decided to take drink anyway and then when he was searched and subsequently it was removed had a bit of a strop.
• We are going to an open air concert thats outside. Picnic blankets are allowed but not chairs. He is planning on bringing a chair and has bought one specially.
• We are going away in the summer. The flight details are very clear on baggage restrictions under our ticket type. It says a carry on bag and one small personal item. He is planning to bring a big backpack and his cabin suitcase.

There are more, but these are the most recent. I find it so embarrasing when he gets found out. He thinks its a risk worth taking and I should just relax.

Would you be botherd by this? Its the cringe factor for me that makes it painful.

nooooo this would make me want to die 💀

Rule bending - fine, as long as you shrug and go "Them's the breaks" when you get caught/forced to pay for extra luggage.

Weapons grade nobber when you get caught and start arguing the toss with the poor staff who are doing the job.

He calls you a goody goody??

I couldn’t like or respect someone who comes out with such obnoxious schoolboy crap, much less be in a relationship with them.

Yes. Men like this think they are being tough when actually they are showing what d**kheads they are.

This is the tip of the iceberg. Image how you're going to feel in twenty years time.

Every single incident will store itself up in your memory, breeding resentment and regret.

Every row, tantrum, sulk, every scornful insult to your values and character.

If you have children, it will either be a constant battle over which parent is right in their teaching - or he'll flip and turn into a tyrant insisting on rigid rules.

Imagine your future and think about if that's what you want. I'd stick my phone on record for each upcoming thing and capture what happens, his reactions and behaviour.

He sounds like a little child. How embarassing for him

You are not suited. This is who he is.
Dump.
People will 100% judge YOU for being with him.

Well, he sounds thick as mince. It’s a male arrogance thing by the way, I know several men like it. They want to ‘win’. He’s not going to win against an airline though, and if he argues they may refuse to let him board. Speaking from experience (not mine, thank fuck).

What an immature dickhead.

It works perfectly well until you start dating adults.

Depends what the 'rules' are. I've taken food (pork pies and sarnies) to an outdoor concert where no own food was allowed because I object to paying for overpriced event crap. The way I see it, I've paid more than enough for the tickets without the organisers gouging more out of me

the one about the chair actually made me laugh

but the plane one is just a tedious waste of time.

agree he sounds childish. I think he doesn't have enough risk and adventure in his life!

Sounds like a Boris Johnson style knobhead - “the rules are for the proles, not for me.”

I’d dump the dickhead.

I think if we are honest a lot of men are like this. It appeals to their competitive side of having to win at stuff.

You're not from London, are you... 😆

I couldn't live like this. It sounds unbearable.

Absolutely. 100% true.

It’s fine what you did about taking your own food. You don’t do it on principle to show how tough you are.

That would stress me out no end.

And if he gets grumpy when caught out, he’s going to be seriously pissed off when he has to pay about £80 each way for his stupid rucksack.

I love a bit of civil disobedience but these are lame

I don't care on principle about rulebreaking, but I think you need to consider the purpose of the rules. I wouldn't care about trying to take drinks in where they're forbidden, because to my mind that's about unreasonable profitmaking. He needs to chill when he gets caught though. But presumably chairs aren't allowed at the open air concert so as not to block other people's view, so I would see that as selfish tbh. The flight baggage is just stupid as there's no way he's going to get away without checking bags and paying through the nose for it. Overall, I guess I would question his judgement. You've certainly managed to come up with quite a list, so it also seems a bit pathological tbh. If you really are "a goody goody", and that isn't just him being rude, then you would seem to be quite incompatible.

Just so he knows, every member of staff that has had to deal with him thinks he's a cunt.

I think its so weird. I have known people like this and they will try to break a rule just for the smug feeling of having got away with it, even if they didnt need to break the rule in the first place. Say the "no food or drink" thing, one person in particular I know will go to extrordinary lengths to take something, and then probably not consume the item they took!

I think its an "I win haha" feeling that they crave, its pathetic. And no, I couldnt be with someone like that I would find it too stressful. As for the chair at the event thing, that is fucking ridiculous, its hardly like stashing a bottle of water in your handbag is it?! Someone WILL say something. I would be refusing to go with him and either go alone or with someone else.

When the OP gets around to dating one of those, then it would make sense to refer to them as a partner. But seeing as she's currently dating an obnoxious nine year old, Boy seems a far more accurate description.

what on earth does that have to do with the price of fish?