To have not gone over to my neighbour's with her parcel?

[CowboyJoanna]

So the other day, a deliveryman pulled up on the street with a parcel for my neighbour who lives across the way. She's a slobby stay at home mum so she was in the house at the time, but for some reason never collected it. None of the neighbours either side of her were in, so the deliveryman brought it over to my house and asked me to take it in for her. I asked the deliveryman to leave a note for my neighbour to come and collect, but I don't think he understood (he was an eastern european bloke with broken english).

Anyway, I kept the parcel in the hall all day, waiting for my neighbour to collect it. But it became abundantly clear the deliveryman had not left a note, because she was sat on the sofa all day. When my DH got home from work, he asked me about the parcel and I explained it was a neighbour's. He said to me "leave it there and if she so wants it she'll come over. The deliverymen always leave notes". So we left it there.

Nothing came the next day. Neighbour was still in the house all day, as always.
But this morning we got a bang on the door.

It was the neighbour, and she proceeded to hurl a mouthful of abuse at me. "The fuck's your problem? Why didn't you bring me over my fucking parcel you cheeky bitch? That was my daughter's fucking birthday present and I was losing my fucking mind over it getting lost". I told her it wasn't my fault because I asked the deliveryman to leave her a note and I assumed she would come and collect it if she so wanted it. But she shouted "I got the note yeah but it's MY FUCKING PARCEL AND YOU JUST SAT THERE WITH IT".

It's not like I opened it or anything, but I'm wondering should I have gone over? I thought to myself, it's her parcel so if she wants it so badly she should've answered the door instead of sitting in front of the telly. And she didn't need to be so bloody rude.

Firstly i never said that secondly i clarified my position here

I certainly wouldn't expect a neighbor to delivery my parcel

OP you are an incredibly rude snob.

You don’t like her and withheld her parcel. You should have forgotten in your mind she is a ‘slob’ and the ‘Eastern European bloke’ didn’t do his job properly and just been the bigger person. You sound like a right bxxxxxxx

You'd think so wouldn't you? And yet the number of folk on this thread who think it's their job to deliver parcels. Even saw it described as 'passive aggressive' not to take it over. Wth is that all about?😄

Honestly Sandy, I don't know either. I wish I could say I made this all up.

I didn't understand what the hell she was talking about either. But honestly I think she was just pissed I didn't take it over to her in time for her daughter's birthday or something.

It’s very rare I say this, but I simply don’t believe parts of your story. I don’t believe she said ‘I got the note yeah..’. If she got a note, why on earth would she say she was worried about the parcel getting lost? And if she’s being as obnoxious as you say, there’s no way she’d admit to getting the note.

You said yourself you thought delivery man didn’t leave a note. Why on earth, given that, didn’t you take the parcel over?

YANBU. If I take a parcel for a neighbor, I absolutely expect them to come to my door for it, and always go and collect parcels from my neighbors if they have been kind enough to take one in for me. On what planet should it be you're responsibility.
I ain't no DPD driver, I won't be bringing your parcel over, and if I have it long enough that I have to bring it over, you can bet it's the last time I'm taking in a parcel for you.

No good deed goes unpunished.
What a cheeky mare!

She may have been on a toilet with a diarrhea when the postman rang.
Assuming she was just lazy to open the door only shows the contempt you hold for her (for whatever reason).
Also, she obviously never got that note from the postman.
As soon as it became likely she is unaware of her parcel sitting with you (say not coming to collect by evening), it would have been nice of you to have crossed the road, knocked on her door and at least told her about the parcel if it was heavy for you to carry.
But then, you are not really a nice person are you? 😐
Also, sincere apologies for my bad grammar, english is just one of several languages I try to speak.

Given she told the OP “I got the note yeah but it's MY FUCKING PARCEL AND YOU JUST SAT THERE WITH IT" (it’s right there in the very first post) your she obviously never got that note from the postman. would seem to indicate it’s you that is contemptuous of the OP.

Given the way she was spoken to for being kind and taking the parcel in, OP’s contempt for her neighbour is at least justified.

Pot and kettle spring to mind

@ElbiTut No, she was sat on her sofa, expecting people to be running around after her, by the sound of it! The OP wasn't in the wrong at all, she's not paid to be a parcel delivery person, she did her a favour taking the parcel in! The neighbour sounds like an abusive nightmare!

Me contemptuous of a person I never met and based on one thread she posted? Are you projecting? What world would we be living in if everyone was so vain?!? Luckily lots of ppl are just trying to be a nice to one another!

Also, the op did not know the lady got the message so it is irrelevant. Actually the op assumed the neighbour did not get the message (the postman prejudice) - and then chose not to inform her about her parcel.
I have no clue if the op's neighbour deserves her contempt or not or why - completely irrelevant.
The op asked if she should have taken the parcel to her neighbour. That was the question if I am not mistaken.
And if you take in someone's parcel and if you have the slightest doubt they may not know it is with you - yes absolutely you should at least inform them.
Just reading all the justification for op's behaviour here just makes me more grateful for my wonderful neighbours. Literally everyone takes in other ppls parcels when needed and lets them know, in fact some people use it as opportunity to go over to say hi and chat... I must be living on another planet then 🤷🏼‍♀️

You did not say “OP you didn’t know for sure whether the neighbour had got the parcel, so you should have gone over and at least let her know.” Which has some merit as an argument, though is hardly definitive. But that wasn’t what you said. You claimed the neighbour obviously never got the note. An assertion that was a direct contradiction of the OP.

So you displayed contempt for the OP by disregarding her statements and asserting that the situation was different.

It was overreach, presumably to try and provide a firmer foundation for your own unkind words. Something you do again here - claiming that “Literally everyone takes in other ppls parcels when needed and lets them know” a claim that is disproved by the numerous posts on this very thread by people who do not do this. If you are well versed in different languages you should be aware of how different cultures can be. To assert that everyone does things one particular way is rarely going to be anything other than, well, a bit foolish.

Hahah omg are you serious? The lady chose to hold neighbour's package without letting her know! No argument can save this... Even if the neighbour pissed all over her lawn the day before - still wrong.
Logic is not your strongest point?

Also what is wrong with me being grateful for my neighbours? And why pull the cultures thing into this, seriously, I can assure you there are people coming from different cultures in my neighbourhood. This is not about cultures, but about ppl being kind and thoughtful neighbours or not (Are you suggesting some cultures find it normal to take keep people's belongings? - that is a pretty steep hill you are going down but hey ho...logic?)
And the op's actions and words here show she isn't a nice neighbour. Maybe her neighbour isn't either, we don't know that but again - irrelevant.

And with regards to me saying 'obviously she didn't get the message' - it was based on OP saying how the neighbour said she was worried the package got lost. I don't see how that goes with her actually getting the message saying where the parcel is. But maybe I missed something - possible.
It is also possible that OP, after realising not everyone here will gloat together with her over stressing out her neighbour, she simply started embellishing the truth slightly (as many sociopaths do when met with disapproval, but let's not be presumptuous...).

The onus is on the parcel owner. You’re not a delivery driver and you have done your neighbour a favour by taking it in.

I hate social interaction and I am not comfortable knocking on people’s doors. I leave it for the neighbour to come to me once they’re home, if I see them in the garden I will mention it and get the parcel.

If I get a note that parcel is with a neighbour, I have to go and knock. It’s not their job to bring it to me.

YANBU.

The onus is on the parcel owner. You’re not a delivery driver and you have done your neighbour a favour by taking it in

I take parcels in for people sometimes, and they don't always get a note left.
Even if I say to the driver "yes I'll take it but can you let them know it's here", half the time they don't. 🙄
So I'll keep it for a couple of days max to give them chance to come round and collect, and if they don't then I'll walk it round.
Several times met with "ooh, wondered where that was, didn't even know you had that!"

That’s nice of you, but it’s still not your job or responsibility. Keeping it safe is all you signed up to.

I've had a lot of things said to me in the past, but never been assumed that I'm a sociopath that's a new one.

Very bizarre comment

You both behaved weirdly/badly.

But lesson learned, you no longer accept parcels for her.

Apologies, it was uncalled for. I am definitely in the minority when it comes to this topic and I will accept that the neighbourhood I am in is the odd one out I guess. 🤷🏼‍♀️

As I quoted the first time I responded to you, OP was very clear that the neighbour had said she DID GET THE NOTE. OP put this in her original post at the start of the thread, not later on as an embellishment. I suggest you try reading What people write instead of developing your own scenario in your head and basing your replies on that.

And now more overreach - to try and paint the OP as a sociopath on the basis of this thread! Even if she had embellished (which she didn’t, making things up appears to be your trick not hers) that would be a ridiculous claim. You make yourself look more foolish every time you post.

I’m not sure what you think logic is, but your working definition isn’t going to be recognised by anyone versed in maths or philosophy.

Could you quote the bit where I said it was wrong for you to be grateful for your neighbours? I think this is yet more overreach by you - making up what you want someone to have said so you can have something to argue against because you can’t engage with what’s actually been said.

I pulled “the cultures thing” into this because we’re talking about common expectations and the way things are viewed. That is cultural. People think about things in different ways. That you frame what OP did as “keeping people’s belongings” is perhaps an example of this. I would frame what OP did as looking after the neighbour’s parcel. She had no intention of keeping it. She didn’t open it up and use it. She kept it safe for the neighbour to collect, out of the rain and away from thieves. A kind act.

If this was a kind act ( agreeing to take a parcel plus the way how the OP described her thoughts about her neighbour - lazy etc...) - I am honestly scared to think what an unkind act from her side would look like :((
Man, the bar is set really low nowadays even for basic human decency.

Ps honestly I could not care less if I seem foolish to people with a moral compass like yours, or op's for that matter. Happy to stay foolish.