Travelling abroad to see a friend and she hasn't booked time off work

[seeitthroughmyeyes]

Hi all, long story short, I worked in an industry where everything is done via teams and online with occasionally travel abroad.
I made very good friends with a colleague who lives in Spain. She left the company last year and have both promised to meet in person.
I took the plunge and said I'll come out and see you this year once I know my dates with work etc. we both arranged a date for me to come out and I booked the flights there and then. We've not spoken much since as life gets in the way and we no longer work together everyday, which is fine.

Anyway, we were messaging today and I asked her what the plan was when I arrive and I've found out she 'couldn't' take the Friday off work because someone else at her job had and they require 3 people in the team. This is fine, no worries, would've just like to have known.

Also, it's bank holiday in the UK Monday so I'm not flying until late evening so I could spend as much time there with her. I've also found out, it's not a bank holiday in Spain and she hasn't managed to get that time off either. So for two of the days I'm going to be loitering around Spain by myself and a bit nagged off I've spent this money only to see her for two days.

I am hugely grateful that I do not have to pay for any accommodation, as I will be staying with her but AIBU to think she could've at least told me?

Well to be fair that is what the OP implies. I am on my own abroad so what else can I do but drink.

I'd actually love this! But then I love exploring new places on my own and I would find four straight days with one person a little intense.

Maybe once the weekend is over you'll be glad for some time to do your own thing? Hope it goes well.

Spare days to spend in Madrid OP? You don't know how lucky you are!

Sorry but why on earth would other countries have the same bank holidays 😵‍💫

I think it’s a perfect compromises as yoi get time together and then time apart seeing as their is the first time you’re spent together in person. If you’re arriving Friday it’s a waste of a day for her to take off seeing as you won’t be landing and out the airport by 8am

You are totally unreasonable!!!

You aren’t a child, why do you need babysitting for the whole time you are there? It’s great that she is letting you stay with her and you will have the whole weekend with her.

You can do what you like the other days, you aren’t a limpet stuck to her.
My goodness.

Look at the one to one guided tours - you could do a gallery, some shopping, a food tour. This isn't a problem, OP, this is an opportunity to experience a city on your own. You might find you like it!

Do we think this may be a classic miscommunication / crossed wires in terms of expectations? I would find it very odd if someone I’d NEVER met expected to come stay with me tbh; especially for 4 days whilst I was working. I’d be dreading it. Are you SURE you were invited to actually stay with her for this length of time??
oP you have to be so conscious not to be a burden; no expectations of her feeding you or being around. Also keep the place tidy and make sure you are out of the way during her working days as otherwise it’s all a bit much. As others have said, I’d be offering to cook / Take her out for dinner and bring a very nice gift if she’s letting you stay for that long.

there’s so much to do in Madrid. You will easily fill the Friday once you land and the Monday before you fly! It’s a great place to potter around.

Monday is your fault as what is she meant to do if it's not bank holiday there?
And Friday- I guess work overrides that. You will have 2 days with her and evenings too so that sounds fine.

A day on your own in Madrid will be fun! I did this a few years ago and did the sightseeing bus, with a stop off at a fabulous Tapas market for a long lunch. There's loads of museums etc to visit too.

To be fair to OP I think what she might be meaning is that if the friend had told her she couldn’t get the days off, OP might have gone for less time ( I’m guessing op is taking the Friday off). But, op, she might have felt that sounded like “ you can’t come those days” which may be why she said nothing.
In the end Monday is a Bank holiday so you have only “ wasted” one extra day of leave - and I’m sure you will enjoy it once you are there. Just don’t cramp your friend!

It's not that crazy a concept. Many BHs are aligned to Christian festivals (Christmas, Easter) so Spain and the UK do mark some of the same days, albeit the UK moves the BH to a Monday if the actual holiday falls on the w/e.

You aren’t a child, why do you need babysitting for the whole time you are there?

Wanting to spend time with the person you are visiting isn't needing to be babysat.

You weren’t aware that other countries on public holidays meaningful to them? Odd. So you just assumed she’d have a British bank holiday off? 🤣
And you couldn’t think of anything to do in a city like Madrid but drink cocktails?
Madrid is fabulous! The internet is awash with suggestions.
I wouldn’t expect her to take 2 days off for you when you’re there all weekend anyway.

Four full days with you would have been too much. This situation provides some variety for both of you, and is a good balance.

Sounds bloody marvellous!

She'll be spending time with her, it just won't be 24/7 🤷‍♀️

They've also never even met each other before do having time apart is probably essential.

Oooo. I'd be finding a nice hotel with rooftop pool and bar to hang out at with a book while she's working. Sounds lovely. Only two of the four days too.

YABU. You are being a real CF! She is kind enough to put you up, for free, in an expensive city, and you want still more!? I really hope you take her out for a nice meal or something to say thank you. I have had too many people treat my house as a B&B (I live in a very swish area of London) to read posts like yours with any grace.

Two days on my own in Madrid sounds absolutely perfect to me!

It's a gorgeous city with loads to do. You'll be absolutely fine on your own.

I don’t think the May bank hols are aligned to Christian festivals though????

Yes, they are. Most countries on the continent have public holidays that are related to National/religious/local festivals.

I'd love two days alone in Madrid!

Are you a child?

How ridiculous that you are expecting her to take time off work when you sound like a friend, but not necessarily her lifelong childhood friend. She probably only has 20 - 25 days of holiday per year so taking 2 days off is a lot!

Why can't you sightsee & dine out etc yourself?