Travelling abroad to see a friend and she hasn't booked time off work

[seeitthroughmyeyes]

Hi all, long story short, I worked in an industry where everything is done via teams and online with occasionally travel abroad.
I made very good friends with a colleague who lives in Spain. She left the company last year and have both promised to meet in person.
I took the plunge and said I'll come out and see you this year once I know my dates with work etc. we both arranged a date for me to come out and I booked the flights there and then. We've not spoken much since as life gets in the way and we no longer work together everyday, which is fine.

Anyway, we were messaging today and I asked her what the plan was when I arrive and I've found out she 'couldn't' take the Friday off work because someone else at her job had and they require 3 people in the team. This is fine, no worries, would've just like to have known.

Also, it's bank holiday in the UK Monday so I'm not flying until late evening so I could spend as much time there with her. I've also found out, it's not a bank holiday in Spain and she hasn't managed to get that time off either. So for two of the days I'm going to be loitering around Spain by myself and a bit nagged off I've spent this money only to see her for two days.

I am hugely grateful that I do not have to pay for any accommodation, as I will be staying with her but AIBU to think she could've at least told me?

I don’t really see it as much of an issue. I went to see a friend in New York and they did the same. Before I went I came up with a list of things to do and they helped plan a day for me, I had a great time buzzing around by myself.

Bank holidays in Spain:

Many are the same - Christmas Day, Boxing day, in some parts of Spain Good Friday and Easter Monday.

However, every town/city has their own bank holidays based on their unique Patron Saint. Which can mean that you have a day off while your husband working in the next town over has to work.

They also don't move them to the next Monday like we do in the UK. E.g. Labour Day 'bank holiday' in Spain is always the 1st May, regardless of the day. So it could be midweek or even Saturday (I think if Sunday its moved to Monday).

How old are you op?

I live abroad and it’s just like being back at home and not always easy to just take time off.
Could you not walk around Madrid yourself, go shopping, for a coffee, see the sights, go by the pool etc, then meet her after work?
I’d love it and have done it a few times in different countries when staying with friends when younger.

Wander off and explore a few local places.....

You sound ungrateful and hard work as well as VYABU

There is so much to do in Madrid. You'll be fine for a few hours on your own. Take in the sights, museums, galleries.

Book in the sun in the Retiro, by the Palace or in the Plaza Mayor - Heaven!

I suspect that as your friend lived abroad in the UK she's a fairly independent person and thinks it's not unreasonable for you to go sight seeing etc on your own and catch up with her in the evening and morning. I have lots of friends visiting, I wouldn't have any annual leave to spare if I took days off for every visit.

Did she actually invite you? It seems from your OP that you told her when you were free, consulted on dates and told her you were coming. Did she actually invite you to stay in her home?

I have found in my life that there are two camps of people. Those who give a casual wave of the hand and say we must meet up again if we are ever in the same place (which sometimes happens and sometimes doesn't but the intention is well placed). Then the second camp, which I think is very very British, is for someone to relay the sentiment in the first example and the other person views it as 'free' accommodation where they can save a few quid by spending time in a foreign place. There are lots of nationalities that absolutely would not appreciate having someone stay with them based on a very loose and casual invitation (but lots of British people don't seem to pick up on how nuanced this is).

In any event, I'd stay well out of your friends way on the days she is working. Madrid is wonderful and you won't be stuck for things to do and see and then, because you are getting 'free' accommodation, I would treat her to dinner on the Friday and Saturday night as a gesture of gratitude.

I’ve only dipped into the thread, but just wanted to say you’ll enjoy yourself.
I visited a friend in the USA who had to work most of the time. She showed me how the transport system worked the day after I arrived and off I went!

It sounds a bit much for a "first date".

If I became good friends with someone at work - I certainly wouldn't impose myself on them for several days.

You two don't even know each other as friends.

I'd be totally freaked by someone that went straight from "It would be great to meet up" to someone who actually the same day bought plane tickets and wanted to live in my home for a few days.

You sound weird. In a scary way.

I travel by myself I always go on free walking tours GuruWalk in every city I visit. There are several so you could do two on the Friday and another two on Monday, one in the morning and another in the afternoon, in English. These walks are very interesting and there will be a group of all English people. At the end give the guide at least 10euros at least. Restaurants will certainly help you chose a menu most have them in English. Your mobile will help you get from A to B. Maybe look in the web to prepare yourself. Madrid is an international city and the tourist industry is use to speaking English. Don’t worry. I envy you.

This a bit much! I have several phenomenal friends that I made via work. We’ve done similar. They have an open invitation to stay in my home and I do in theirs as well. Last weekend we hosted the neighbors adult kids for a few days because her house was full.

Seems like you may just be a bit more reserved. No big deal, but what the OP is doing here is pretty normal to me.

It can be so much fun!! Just relax and let the wind carry you for a bit. The time goes by quickly.

Here you go, https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe/spain/madrid/articles/madrid-travel-guide/?WT.mc_id=tmgoff_psc_ppc_google_travel_generic_broad_dsa_content_europe&rm_id=RM_News_UK_Search_Ads_Travel_DSA&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0ruyBhDuARIsANSZ3wp37edhmrnR2QpWQ5WkPGIb-y-3_yqADraVIKcgkcDaFZlkyNjDEckaAl6zEALw_wcB

I would love a couple of days abroad on my own! I'm sure you'll find plenty to do. Take a book to read while having lunch/drinks.

I'm sure most countries have bank holiday but we just don't call them that. Here the direct translation is "midweek sunday".

This sounds super fun. You get to explore by yourself and then have a few days together with a friend. Just go to centre and wander around. Maybe a museum that friend is not interested.

wow - I never expect people to take time off when I visit - there are always so many things to see and do. Lots of suggestions already. Insta has great tips for cities all over the world, have a look be inspired and be excited you have a friend to stay with

Definitely not a British thing! Where do you live? The U.K. gets less bank holidays than a lot of European countries - for example, France basically gets the whole
of May off 😂

OMGosh! Please plan stuff. Madrid is amazing with sooooo much to do.

Have an amazing time

But in many European countries they're religious holidays: Ascension day, Pentecost, etc. Or sometimes some kind of national '4th of july'-type day. Britain is the only place I have lived that has random 'last Monday in August' bank holidays.

Did you ask her would she be off while you are there before you made the plans?

Most countries have a Labour Day. The US has presidents day, Memorial Day etc. France and the US have Independence Day. France has armistice day and 8th May which aren’t religious.

And most of ours are religious - Easter, whit Monday, Christmas. Everywhere has New Year’s Day as far as I’m aware. Only Labour Day and the August bank holiday aren’t religious in the UK.

Make the most of it. Hopefully the weather will be good. There's always a lot to explore and appreciate in a "new" surround. Not ideal in terms of the friend's work/day off -- but different people have different ideas of "friendship" and "hospitality". An experience to learn from for the future.

I’d love your weekend - your friend sounds great but just has to work. Enjoy!