Travelling abroad to see a friend and she hasn't booked time off work

[seeitthroughmyeyes]

Hi all, long story short, I worked in an industry where everything is done via teams and online with occasionally travel abroad.
I made very good friends with a colleague who lives in Spain. She left the company last year and have both promised to meet in person.
I took the plunge and said I'll come out and see you this year once I know my dates with work etc. we both arranged a date for me to come out and I booked the flights there and then. We've not spoken much since as life gets in the way and we no longer work together everyday, which is fine.

Anyway, we were messaging today and I asked her what the plan was when I arrive and I've found out she 'couldn't' take the Friday off work because someone else at her job had and they require 3 people in the team. This is fine, no worries, would've just like to have known.

Also, it's bank holiday in the UK Monday so I'm not flying until late evening so I could spend as much time there with her. I've also found out, it's not a bank holiday in Spain and she hasn't managed to get that time off either. So for two of the days I'm going to be loitering around Spain by myself and a bit nagged off I've spent this money only to see her for two days.

I am hugely grateful that I do not have to pay for any accommodation, as I will be staying with her but AIBU to think she could've at least told me?

Now that I've read this thread, I want to book myself a few days in Madrid! 😄

Me too!

I would also be slightly P'd tbh that you're travelling to a different country to see her and she's going to be working. But just let it go and enjoy it, 4 days with someone you've never actually seen in person might be a bit intense anyway so maybe nice to have some time to yourself. Ask her if she has any recommendations on things to do/see while she's at work

To me that sounds wonderful. Time by myself and also meeting up with a friend.
Sou ds like the perfect break.
There's loads to discover in Madrid! Just go on Atlas Obscura or interesting things to do in Madrid.
Have fun.

I am your friend. I moved to a holiday destination and had a revolving door of people ‘visiting’ me ( or taking cheap holidays and wanting me to show them around). It cost me a fortune going out for meals, drinks, buying essentials such as milk/ bread/ cereal, increased utility bills when they had two showers a day and ran the AC. One friend arrived for a month, another with her husband and two small children. Eventually I put a two week limit on stays for good friends and 5 days for looser friends.

I wasn’t going to use up my meagre holiday allowance going around places I already knew well. Funnily enough, like them I wanted to use my holiday going to new places! And I’d never have been at work if I’d have taken days off for every visitor.

Years later I still regret not being tougher about it but I was very young and flattered people wanted to visit me. Try to see her point of view and enjoy your independent travel.

If this doesn’t sound too weird, a friend of mine is half Spanish, plays guitar a lot in a band in a venue there. Go along.

My mind is blown on several levels. Firstly, I can’t imagine going to stay with someone I had never met for 4 days. Nice to meet up, but personally I would have found my own accommodation and then arranged to meet for a day or one evening. Secondly, why on earth did you think Spain has the same public holidays we do? Is that a Europe-wide assumption or did you think the States, Russia, India, just to use some examples, are all the same as the UK?! Finally, as others have already said, the fact that you can’t think of anything to do in Madrid other than drink cocktails is really strange. Sorry OP I don’t mean to pile on but I think your former colleague is being more than generous with her time and hospitality already. I would find four whole days with even my closest friends quite wearing and would be craving a bit of time to myself!

For me this would be ideal. See my friend in the evenings and do what I like all day.

Yove never done things alone in another country oh my your missing out. Nothing like a wander about seeing the sights

This may have been mentioned before, but some of the museums have free entry on a Monday from recollection, so a great opportunity to wander and explore

Exactly. When my friend offered to host me in NYC, and apologised that she would need to work, I was actually glad that I'd have the days to myself! I find being a 'good' guest quite stressful in some ways, so spending the day without having to consider anyone else, and then having a chatty evening together was my idea of perfection!

I went to Madrid on my own for 5 days and my days were full. Plenty to do. Start with an open top bus tour to get your bearings and also that will highlight things you might want to see (you can go on the city sightseeing website and download the map now to get ideas).

There are museums, food markets, parks, streets to wander and take it all in, shopping

If you want a cocktail that’s great but there is so much to do on your own too

YABVVU.
I'm in agreement with the PP who said don't be such a wet lettuce.

Am I right in thinking you've never met this friend in person, OP?

If so I would say four days in her company would probably be quite intense and having two days in her company plus two days sightseeing on your own is a much better balance.

If you've never done any travelling in a foreign country on your own before, this is a great way to start. Madrid is a very manageable city, there's lots to see and do, and it's going to be nice and sunny.

If your friend is typically Spanish and likes going out, you may well find that you are out eating and drinking until the wee small hours and you'll be glad of a lie in when she is at work anyway.

I would bring shorts and a T-shirt and your sunglasses and plan to spend some time lazing in the Retiro park with a book. If you like art and culture, both the Prado and the Reina Sofia are fantastic museums. You should also find yourself a spot at a pavement cafe somewhere picturesque and just people watch.

Hope you have a fantastic time and that you and your friend enjoy each other's company in person!

Oh also, if you don't already know how, learn how to say hello, goodbye, please, thank you and how to order a coffee or a beer in Spanish.

In my experience - as with most European countries - a little effort goes a long way. The Spanish are particularly appreciative of even very rudimentary efforts to speak their language.

I know you've said you've never spent time alone abroad, so it's great you're going to a major city. Everything will be on your doorstep and you'll be able to do whatever you enjoy - whether that's outside parks, walking tours, or inside galleries and museums. It'll be easy to navigate public transport as (if you don't speak Spanish) there will be plenty of people speaking English.

You could ask your friend about great places to visit which are outside the usual tourist hotspots.

Eventually I put a two week limit on stays for good friends and 5 days for looser friends
I think that's more generous than I would have been!

Do a food tour

https://www.viator.com/Madrid-tourism/d566-r16462403891-s205697891?m=64813&supag=97138997976&supsc=kwd-31984363709&supai=421176810951&supdv=m&supnt=g&suplp=1006765&supli=&supti=kwd-31984363709&tsem=true&supci=kwd-31984363709&supap1=&supap2=&gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD-gbd4xrG5aIwYkeRC2LR-5QvMHw&gclid=CjwKCAjwr7ayBhAPEiwA6EIGxELp51TXDgUm--PhQO6K-5bBZhzx4yh-yQWb1BjXOP94ZMZZOnwP1RoCCisQAvDBwE

Aren't bank holidays a British thing? I live abroad and have had to explain the concept to people from other countries -but I genuinely don't know and am interested now!
Bank Holidays and public holidays are just about the same thing. We get very few compared to a lot of countries across the world. We only get 8.
Which country do you live in?

You must go to the Glass Market (Mercato Di San Michele?) and you could take a train to Toledo. Madrid station is stunning

It's a shame she didn't communicate it more clearly or in advance, but she probably expected a grown woman to be able to find something to do in you know.... one of Europes most beautiful and vibrant cities for a couple of days! Sounds perfect to me, bit of alone time, bit of friend time. See it as a positive thing and don't waste the day just sat drinking, it's an incredible place.

Go for a shop around the many beautiful neighbourhoods, or the huge fancy shops/El Corte Ingles
Go to a museum - some of the best in Europe (El Prado or Reina Sofia)
Walk around El Parque de Retiro, see the glasshouse or take yourself a picnic
Have a calamari baguette (the typical dish from Madrid) for lunch

Ok now I want to go back!!!

I just got back from Madrid. Don;t go to Plaza Major - massive tourist trap. Head to the square by Chueca station - much better priced and a nicer square. Get a beer and watch people there. Go to Mercato Anton Martin - sample lots of local food there

Your friend will have some ideas for you too.

You might end up meeting for lunch near her work one day or doing some tours and galleries by yourself and relaxing.

It sounds perfect.

bank holiday was weekend gone, Madrid is fabulous city get the open bus tour go to the castle - grounds are amazing, Madrid is fab for shopping, then spend time with your friend at the weekend. You get the best of both worlds explore a city that she all ready knows and depends quality time with your friend

We have foreign visitors and whilst it's lovely to see them, I have no desire to spend ££ going around tourist attractions that I have seen many times before.

What you have is a lovely balance of tourist time and some time with your friend.