To wish woman didn’t have to work

[Blueberryancakes]

I think I was born in the wrong decade.

Somedays/Most days I wish I lived in the days when once a woman got married she would give up work. Stay at home have children, cook and clean.

I know it’s such an anti feminist opinion but I guess that’s how I feel.

I enjoy cooking and cleaning. I hate going to work. I wish we lived in a time when 1 wage would pay the bills.

Anyone else think like me?
I know woman now have so many career options nowadays but house wife seems to be a very privileged one.

Right, so some posters had careers as exciting as they come, but at the same time, not nearly as exciting as going to a toddler playgroup on a random Wednesday? Now I really need to hear more about that particular playgroup, what on earth goes on there??

Housewives rely upon other working women to be realistically discuss career,workplace and career and model working to their children

Yes. There was a good reason that my kids’ school never had SAHMs come and give inspiring talks to the students…

I think that this encapsulates a great deal of the fundamental issue. You are right that other people probably have little genuine interest in the life experience of a SAHM - and why should they! That is because the intimate relationship between a parent and a child is only really of interest to those particular people. It is very special and personal - and that is precisely why, in my opinion, it cannot be adequately outsourced!

@StuffandFluff so are you actually saying that working parents can't have an intimate and special relationship with their children?

Crikey.

Working parents spend a portion of their day at work. They don't outsource being a parent

@StuffandFluff

How very silly

I agree with you - they don't and can't outsource being a parent (even if they do outsource the care). That means that, for the period of time that the child is in somebody else's care, they are not being cared for in the same way that they would be when they are with their parents - they are missing out on that "intimate and special relationship" for a significant proportion of their young lives. That is the sad reality, however you want to sugar-coat it.

they are missing out on that "intimate and special relationship" for a significant proportion of their young lives

From what I read of threads on here many SAHMs spend a considerable amount of that special time vacuuming several times a day, deep cleaning the toilet and washing their duvets.

That's sure is special 🤣

Do you know, it is possible to do housework and involve even very young children. I had my babies in a sling and talked and sang to them as I chopped the vegetables. They used to enjoy emptying the pans out of the cupboard and putting them back in...or putting things in and out of the washing machine. Children can turn the most ostensibly mundane tasks into something entertaining!

You can home educate, but most people don’t. I believe we could educate our child by ourselves, but I wouldn’t want to. They get so much from peer to peer interaction. They’ll have to interact with people their whole lives, with peers and a ‘authority figure’, like a boss or teacher.

I don’t think people are missing out by not spending time with their child daily, children are in school most of the day like people who go to work. An hour or two wraparound care isn’t much really.

I don’t want an ‘intimate and special relationship’ with my husband all the hours of the day, or my children. I prefer quality time and to let children and adults grow having time for themselves and with others. Each to their own, but I don’t think all the time means all the quality time.

@StuffandFluff

Do you know, it is possible to do housework and involve even very young children. I had my babies in a sling and talked and sang to them as I chopped the vegetables. They used to enjoy emptying the pans out of the cupboard and putting them back in...or putting things in and out of the washing machine. Children can turn the most ostensibly mundane tasks into something entertaining!

Of course I know that I'm a parent who has done all those things.

Duh 🙄

Research has shown (linked to a pp upthread) that very young children gain no advantage from peer-to-peer interaction (quite the opposite in fact). It has been shown to have poor behaviour outcomes down the line.

Don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question. 🤷‍♀️

God some people must be so pissed when they see the children of mums who work grow up into successful well rounded adults, who have good relationships with their parents - and mum has a great career and pension too

You do realise that the stay-at-home-wife is a new phenomenon? Historically, very, very few wives were ladies of leisure, in that they could focus entirely on their home and children.

I understand being a sahm when the kids are little and aren’t at school. I don’t get being a full time sahm when the kids are at school. You could work part time, even just a few hours.
the thought of not achieving anything would the good for morale and respectability. Sure your children and husband might value what you do, but why should society?

I find this research funny. It implies that young children don't benefit from having siblings or cousins in early years. Do you really believe that a 12 month old doesn't benefit from having siblings around? I'm sure there must be evidence that those with an older sibling develop better thinking/social skills at a faster rate etc I know there is evidence to suggest allergies are greatly reduced with exposure to bugs and that second children are far less likely to develop allergies and asthma etc.

I guess we should all only be having single children families if this is in fact the case

I was just going to say the same thing. 😂

Precious first born?

Try doing 'Intimate and special' when you have more than one at home with you. 'Intimate and special' is truly sugar coating it with a big dose of soft focus baby looking into mama's eyes over bare tops of boobs in serene and mutual adoration.

Precious Moments, lol

Yup, working women tend to have maternity leave. Been there done that.

Now many working women can also work from home post-Covid. 'Tis wonderful to see your kids during the day AND bring in the bacon AND have a healthy pension.

That's why they liked nuns in the past so much as well and were given so much money in the past as well .They would take care of the old no one wanted to take of in the past as well . People that working class people had no time to take of as well .That you couldn't just take working class women from their families and their little working class of jobs of making 'matchsticks' and taking care of children .
And they also took 'care'of children that no one wanted , including children high society never wanted anything to do with.
All of society used working class women very well to their own benefit .

Feminism is about having the freedom to make the choice. I wish society was set up so that it was feasible to have a parent who wants to to be home with a young child (whether male or female- that would be a sign we actually had equality)

Exactly.

Currently on maternity leave I WFH 99% of the time. DC go/will go to nursery but it is flexible so DH or I (who WFH often too) can almost always pick DC up early. We will also be able to have at least one of us for assemblies, sports days etc too.

I don't hark back to some imaginary point in the 1950s when women didn't work (the women in my family always have) but it would be fantastic if families/households could afford to live on one wage. Just having the choice would be good!

Both adults could work part time if they wanted.

Once DC are older you'd both have time off in the week for hobbies, shopping, DIY etc, travel, instead of cramming it all in at the weekend and on annual leave.

I think if it was affordable a lot more people (and not just parents) would opt to do that and enjoy it.

Wealth/status (even just middle class) s hereditary. I think if earlier generations of your family could afford to live like that, you probably would be able to now as well by default of DH's high income or support from your parents.

So probably your female ancestors have always worked as well.