To wish woman didn’t have to work

[Blueberryancakes]

I think I was born in the wrong decade.

Somedays/Most days I wish I lived in the days when once a woman got married she would give up work. Stay at home have children, cook and clean.

I know it’s such an anti feminist opinion but I guess that’s how I feel.

I enjoy cooking and cleaning. I hate going to work. I wish we lived in a time when 1 wage would pay the bills.

Anyone else think like me?
I know woman now have so many career options nowadays but house wife seems to be a very privileged one.

In an ideal society, women would be free to do what they want to, be that a career or not.

What about men?

My mother didn’t work. She was very academic at school but of the generation where it was normal to stop work when having children. She was miserable and I think clinically depressed at times. Also she and dad argued about money and how much she had spent on the credit card. I used to dread the credit card bill arriving in the post. I vowed I would always have a seperate income, and I do. Would I like to spend more time with my children? Yes ideally, but I also want to work and earn money.

I get a new grey hair every time I see a woman say that she loves cleaning.

What a depressing read this is.

I am delighted we have women doctors, journalists, judges and MPs etc. Love that we are trying for my more equality. Women are now allowed to get divorced and even say no to sex from their husbands.

Some women here are not great role models for the next generation and are perpetuating stereotypes.

All things being equal, the main reasons for women being unable to ‘have it all’ are expensive childcare and a shit man in their lives.

I don’t like cooking, cleaning or children, so that’s not for me thanks.

Why the need to say the sex was loud? Strange.

No chance I would be bored stiff

@Senzafine I hope my post hasn’t given that impression!

My view is that rising house prices (caused by poor central planning) have forced more women to work, not the other way round.

It took my a very long time to line up all my ducks, and didn’t become a mum until 41. My professional job was so unfulfilling compared to motherhood, and I didn’t even realise until I got there. I’ve been mistaken for my child’s grandmother.

I just feel very strongly that the whole having-it-all narrative is horseshit in a society when one in four people are on anti-depressants. Childcare funding is a labour force management scheme.

I absolutely respect and uphold a woman’s right to make her own choices in the best interests of herself and her family.

I think a lot of feminists would be happier not getting married, then they wouldn't have a 'useless man' in their lives or in any way be dependent on a man. They could be independent and have a career and pay for childcare for their children.

Nope I’d be bored to tears, anxious and hate not having my own money.
I’d be one of the mentally unwell ones over medicated on diazepam.

It’s great to be a sahp if you can afford it and it’s what works for your family. The important thing is the choice. But I don’t know what decade you’re thinking of where women had it easy - my gran left school at 14 to go to work, and I’m so glad I had the opportunity for education beyond 14.

Those who say they'd be bored clearly have no imagination and are probably quite boring. Unless you've got some amazing interesting job! I get more from my 3 volunteering roles than I'd ever get in a job.

Not sure what you'll all do when you retire!

The only thing I agree is that a household should be able to live comfortably off one full time wage. I wish my husband and I could afford to both be part time and both enjoy a better work life balance and our DC wouldn't need so much wrap around care.

It feels like things just got more expensive to absorb the profits of women entering the workforce. Wages (at least the working and lower middle classes) just seem to have halved and we've created more billionaires and higher wages for the wealthier classes.

The wealth in this country is there, it's just been siphoned off by the 1% to the detriment of society.

Also wanting to be a fulltime carer is perfectly feminist as long as it's a choice and you don't actually wish we went back to being property or a subservient gender that HAS to be a house-wife/SAHM.

My grandmother would be 126 if alive today she worked from 13 to age 78 and did all the housework and raised 3 children with no help from husband. She had no say in her life or how money was spent. No gadgets like washing machines a walk in pantry with a meat locker no fridge.

Oh please. The op wasn't saying "all women should be at home" was she?? Of course we still need women to be dr's, lawyers, whatever they WANT to be.

She just stated she wished she (and others who feel the same) could have the choice to stay home. The choice to spend time with family, to not feel stressed and tired. To not be made to feel they're only "contributing" if they're working to line someone else's pocket.

That's what feminism is. Being able to choose. Without judgement or ridicule or feeling "less than" .

And I say this as a working mom.

Oh and for the record, my mum was sahm. She's intelligent, driven, kind and incredibly strong. She chose to stay home after having her first child after putting off having kids so she and my dad could save and work towards that goal. She got through losing another child to sids, then looking after me after I was born with a condition which kept me in and out of hospital until I was over 3. I'm incredibly proud of her and it really grates on me when I here other women dragging down sahp in that way "ohhh some of us have brains and would be sooo bored" - shame you don't have the empathy to understand some people want different things and that's ok. It's pathetic.

Because having loud sex is something you can’t do if you and your husband are rarely in the house alone without the kids. If you go to work for most of the day and see your kids in the early mornings and the evenings, you’ve got to rely on someone outside of the immediate family to take your kids somewhere else for a set amount of time if you and your husband want the house to yourselves.

That's my life exactly 😁 although no longer paying for childcare as DS is too old for it now.

My understanding of feminism is that, the choice should be yours.

Living in that time was probably rubbish though because if you were poor you'd still have to work, if you were a DV victim you'd be pressured into keeping quiet. If you were widowed you'd also struggle.

Also, you'd probably be denied an education too.

Much nicer to be in that position these days. It can be achieved either by having generational wealth or by starting a family later in life and having savings.

Enjoy x

If you can’t conceive of a truly interesting and satisfying job, then I’m afraid you’re the one who lacks imagination.

It wasn’t really a privilege to stay at home - for a long time, it was law. As soon as a woman announced they were pregnant in the 1960’s for example, they would have to leave work.
They could legally be fired and pregnant women were not protected by law - hence why some women covered up their pregnancy and carried on working for as long as they could without being found out.

Also wanting to be a fulltime carer is perfectly feminist as long as it's a choice and you don't actually wish we went back to being property or a subservient gender that HAS to be a house-wife/SAHM.

That’s basically what gender is though, isn’t it? Sex-based societal stereotypes.

Being a full time carer to other humans would be bloody awful but if I won the lottery I’d spend a lot more time caring for cats.

I get more from my 3 volunteering roles than I'd ever get in a job.

So it is possible to do fun and interesting things outside of home. As long as you are not getting paid for it?

When I retire, I’ll be ready to wind down and I’ll be doing it with my own money at the end of a long, successful career. I’ll also have adult children.

Not the same as giving it all up to financially depend on a man and take care of small children all day.

But if you loved your job and wanted to do it why would how your stay at home husband spend his day annoy you?

I wish we lived in a time when 1 wage would pay the bills.

I agree with this part.