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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just had a blazing row with a builder

272 replies

musicthroughthewall · 21/05/2024 11:30

Not working for me, he keeps parking across my driveway. I’ve asked him again to move it and he said all I have to do is be polite and ask.l each time.

I responded with I was polite the first time and how about he just doesn’t do it. And wow did it escalate. He was screaming that he pays road tax and can park where he wants, I pointed out it’s a dropped curb so no he can’t.

Honestly. It got so much worse, he called me a fucking bitch. Now I feel vulnerable in my own home.

Aibu? I shouldn’t repeatedly have to ask someone to stop blocking my car. I’ve noticed he doesn’t block the driveway of the people he’s working for.

OP posts:
mrwalkensir · 21/05/2024 17:26

Btw (sorry OP to mention it) - "gotten" is one of the old English forms. The US just kept it while we didn't.

Chirawehaha · 21/05/2024 17:28

OP, sorry for being part of the thread derail. I will stop engaging with that person.

theholesinmyapologies · 21/05/2024 17:31

musicthroughthewall · 21/05/2024 16:33

Honestly maybe I’m reading way too much into it but telling me to ask politely felt so sexist. Like I should be a good woman and ask the man if he wouldn’t mind terribly to move his van for me.

And fuck being polite. I was polite before and it clearly got me no where. And the bitch comment, yet another way for a man to put a woman down. I’m a bitch because I want to be able to use my driveway … ok.

Whats hilarious is that not too long ago someone parked against the neighbours driveway. I know because he came round banging on my door asking if it was mine (erm mines in my driveway mate). I then later saw a community enforcement officer ticketing the car, so he’d clearly reported it. But thinks it’s fine when it happens to his neighbours.

Show quote history

Have you reminded your neighbour about his outrage and reporting it when it happened to him? Tell him you'll be reporting his builder every single time he parks there going forward without discussion.

musicthroughthewall · 21/05/2024 17:35

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
musicthroughthewall · 21/05/2024 17:36

Chirawehaha · 21/05/2024 17:28

OP, sorry for being part of the thread derail. I will stop engaging with that person.

Don’t apologise, no need ☺️.

OP posts:
C152 · 21/05/2024 17:36

Talk to your neighbour (I'd also follow up in writing), write a complaint to the company the builder works for and take photos every time he blocks your drive. Also report him to the local council and if he's abusive and preventing you from getting your car out, make a complaint for anti-social behaviour.

https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/asb/asb/antisocial-behaviour/nuisance-parking/

LF23456 · 21/05/2024 17:41

ManchesterLu · 21/05/2024 17:23

Our neighbour's brother always parks across us when he visits. We've asked him not to and he says it's fine because he'll move it if we want to go out. I want to be able to go out without having to knock next door!

If I were you, I'd park my own car across my drive for the foreseeable, just so he can't do it.

Now @musicthroughthewall has rang 101 it is probably logged somewhere and sods law is she would park across her own drive and get ticketed by someone checking the complaint out!

Toptotoe · 21/05/2024 17:41

Why don’t you move your car there so he can’t park there?

Bignanna · 21/05/2024 17:47

Toptotoe · 21/05/2024 17:41

Why don’t you move your car there so he can’t park there?

Because it may get damaged?

Navymamma · 21/05/2024 17:49

Sorry but I still don’t understand why OP won’t knock on her neighbours door and tell them about their shouty builder parking on her drive. Surely that’s the simplest solution, or have I missed something by just filtering the OP’s responses?

Saschka · 21/05/2024 17:52

ChockysChimichanga · 21/05/2024 11:55

Who is it that comes out and tows cars you don’t own on request? I don’t know why people post ‘get it towed’ when it’s not possible to get a reputable company to remove someone else’s car.

Round here the council do! The minute they spot you, they are like Rottweilers.

Iwasafool · 21/05/2024 17:54

VolvoFan · 21/05/2024 11:49

Point of pedantry here: It's not road tax, it's vehicle excise duty, which is based on emissions rather than engine size. Dropped curb or not, it has nothing to do with the road.

Carry on.

Bit more pedantry. From the Office for Budget Responsibility Vehicle excise duty (VED) is a tax levied on every vehicle using public roads in the UK and is collected by the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA)

ageratum1 · 21/05/2024 17:56

A builder really needs to have his van/truck close to where he is working.could you not de-escalate the situation by having a chat about the times you will be in and out the drive and work something out.The time may come when YOU need your neighbour's cooperation.

Houseplantmad · 21/05/2024 17:57

If he does it again stick a note to his windscreen with a big lump of Vaseline 😬

ClairDeLaLune · 21/05/2024 17:57

Ghostgirl77 · 21/05/2024 11:50

Point of pedantry here too: it’s a KERB not a curb.

Show quote history

Please try to kerb your pedantry 😂

OP - police and council. What a bullying misogynistic cunt, he shouldn’t get away with it.

CoffeeCatsAndVodka · 21/05/2024 18:14

ageratum1 · 21/05/2024 17:56

A builder really needs to have his van/truck close to where he is working.could you not de-escalate the situation by having a chat about the times you will be in and out the drive and work something out.The time may come when YOU need your neighbour's cooperation.

Then he should park across the drive of the house he is working at. That would be even closer! 😉

Boomer55 · 21/05/2024 18:22

Farcis · 21/05/2024 11:40

I live in an outer London borough and it's not illegal to park across someone's dropped curve driveway unless the person in the house complains about it (crazy, but true). So I'd ring your local Council parking enforcement team and get them to ticket/tow him. That'll sort it.

Our local police and council (London/North Kent) have told us that it’s not illegal to park across a drive if there is no resident car on the drive when the blocking vehicle parks.

Original poster
musicthroughthewall · 21/05/2024 18:39

Navymamma · 21/05/2024 17:49

Sorry but I still don’t understand why OP won’t knock on her neighbours door and tell them about their shouty builder parking on her drive. Surely that’s the simplest solution, or have I missed something by just filtering the OP’s responses?

Because I know they wouldn’t care less. They are as selfish as he is. They’ve done multiple things whilst renovating that have impacted me.

They had a huge delivery which blocked my drive and they just stood gormlessly watching as I tried to get out of my driveway.

His attitude was terrible when he accused me of blocking his driveway.

They likely heard the argument and neither of them have come over.

OP posts:
Original poster
musicthroughthewall · 21/05/2024 18:40

Boomer55 · 21/05/2024 18:22

Our local police and council (London/North Kent) have told us that it’s not illegal to park across a drive if there is no resident car on the drive when the blocking vehicle parks.

Show quote history

I don’t live in that area but my car was on the driveway.

OP posts:
Original poster
musicthroughthewall · 21/05/2024 18:42

ageratum1 · 21/05/2024 17:56

A builder really needs to have his van/truck close to where he is working.could you not de-escalate the situation by having a chat about the times you will be in and out the drive and work something out.The time may come when YOU need your neighbour's cooperation.

Is that a joke? 😂😂. I’m sorry but there’s no way in hell I’m scheduling times that I can leave my own house.

He can park across their drive just as easily as he can park across mine. He’s just decided not to.

OP posts:
Original poster
musicthroughthewall · 21/05/2024 18:46

Oh and he’s still out there now, banging away. I’m not sure on time restrictions (think they vary) but it’s taking the piss to do doing the work at near 7pm.

OP posts:
tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 21/05/2024 18:46

He can park across their drive just as easily as he can park across mine. He’s just decided not to.

//Agree OP, why the hell isn't he just doing this?

ToxicChristmas · 21/05/2024 18:55

musicthroughthewall · 21/05/2024 18:46

Oh and he’s still out there now, banging away. I’m not sure on time restrictions (think they vary) but it’s taking the piss to do doing the work at near 7pm.

Check your local council page, you should be able to find some info on there reporting wise but building regs are 8am -6pm Monday to Friday and until 1pm on a Saturday. I'd have no hesitation reporting him after the argument, but I do hold a grudge. I'd even be checking his van reg on the tax and MOT site to see if it was legal if it meant he fucked off away from my drive and stopped him being a patronising cock.

Screamingabdabz · 21/05/2024 19:04

Just the “ask nicely” would enrage me. Fucking cunt. This is the kind of bloke who will instantly use aggression if women get chippy and don’t know their place. I’d park deliberately and awkwardly to make his life as hard as possible from now on. Ugh. Dinosaur prick. I’m angry for you op.

ToxicChristmas · 21/05/2024 19:08

Screamingabdabz · 21/05/2024 19:04

Just the “ask nicely” would enrage me. Fucking cunt. This is the kind of bloke who will instantly use aggression if women get chippy and don’t know their place. I’d park deliberately and awkwardly to make his life as hard as possible from now on. Ugh. Dinosaur prick. I’m angry for you op.

That's also what would have tipped me over the edge as well -even more than the drive blocking weirdly. It's just so demeaning and smug. He obviously thinks he is really something else.