Just had a blazing row with a builder

[musicthroughthewall]

Not working for me, he keeps parking across my driveway. I’ve asked him again to move it and he said all I have to do is be polite and ask.l each time.

I responded with I was polite the first time and how about he just doesn’t do it. And wow did it escalate. He was screaming that he pays road tax and can park where he wants, I pointed out it’s a dropped curb so no he can’t.

Honestly. It got so much worse, he called me a fucking bitch. Now I feel vulnerable in my own home.

Aibu? I shouldn’t repeatedly have to ask someone to stop blocking my car. I’ve noticed he doesn’t block the driveway of the people he’s working for.

Next time he does it and you're not going anywhere, ask him (nicely) to move his van, get in your car, pull out and park across your driveway, get out and go back in your house. And repeat every time he does it. The first time he refuses, you call the authorities.

If you are going to be pedantic, then it is kerb, not curb!😁

He’s rude and condescending. Park across your own driveway for the time being. I’m not sure of the legalities of this but I can’t imagine the police would care

Ours say if you are "regularly inconvenienced" you can register your address and parking enforcement will come around - doesn't say you have to be on the drive.

I think that's half the problem - the rules aren't consistent!

A builder did exactly this to me, and my CF neighbours could not have cared less. So I called the owner of the building company he worked for, found out he was a contractor. Owner apologised profusely and abusive builder was fired from the job.

Take a photo and email the parking enforcement team at your council if he persists. They should only be too happy to get out and issue a ticket.

Then do the same. Report it any future time the builder parks there

Such a twat! Had similar from a workman once last year (Thames Water, looking at you). Pulled up on my drive just as I was about to set off to work. Told him to move. He told me to calm down and he just wanted to explain how he needed to borrow my drive whilst he was working nearby. Erm - no thanks, knob! The calm down enraged me so much, but not as much as when he then asked if he could speak to my husband!!! JFC! I proceeded to have a massive stand off row with him in the street, called him a misogynist and all sorts and he still wouldn’t back down. Did finally move his car though.

Made a complaint about him and got a massive bunch of M&S flowers and a £50 voucher in the post a few days later. Not the point though - how very dare he??? Parked on my property and then wanted to explain his right to be there when I’d ’calmed down enough to listen to reason’. He could easily have parked round the corner. Entitled man wanker. Hate them all.

MN is the only place in the world where police and the council give a shit about parking. We have had so much illegal parking near our house and neither have given a shit. Either at the time, or when you email a photo or when you fill out the police website form re dangerous parking.

nothing ever gets done.

Wow … like I don’t know how people can be so entitled. If you’re going to be a cheeky fucker, at least ask.

I did tell him to just fucking move it. But that was after he majorly pissed me off with the “I just need to ask him politely each time” and tried to justify why it was ok (because it’s difficult to park on the road - not my issue) and that he pays his tax so he can park where he wants and to report him then for parking on a road.

It was at that point I said - just fucking move it. And he told me not to use that type of language. Probably because I’m a woman so shouldn’t be allowed to swear. He then moved the van as I got in my car and got out and stared at me and said absolute fucking bitch.

My builder block ed my neighbours cars in ,I was furious,and told them not to do it again but if they have to block a drive to block ours ,some builders are courteous,most are not

I’ll update if anything happens if he does it again. But like in a previous post I have actually seen a car on my street get a ticket after the neighbour reported it blocking his drive.

I do think the police are good here, I called for a wellness check after I noticed my elderly neighbour hadn’t opened her curtains all day (unusual for her) and there was no answer when I knocked. They called me back within the hour to update me she was safe. She never came back to the house though which is really sad.

This

Report to police

Not from calling 111 you didn't

I did on non-emergency and the woman couldn’t have cared less. She said because an actual threat was not made they could only log it.

I just wanted to add a note of solidarity OP.

I live opposite a school and people constantly park across our drive. We have three disabled individuals in the house and there have been times when we've had to drive very quickly to hospital as a life or death emergency. I don't want to have to fanny around explaining and asking someone to move in those circumstances. Because of all of this, I get really anxious when we're blocked in.

A few weeks ago I had around 4 people park and block us in. Each time I went out and politely asked them to move. All women. All apologetic. Actually, for two of them I didn't even ask them to move, I just asked them not to park across our drive again. All very well-mannered.

Then at 7.30pm, we're blocked in again. The school is home to a dance studio where there's evening classes. Same situation - I go out and ask the driver to please not park there again because there's disabled people in the house and urgent access is sometimes required.

Except this time it's a bloke. He was confrontational, aggressive, and told me he could park wherever he wanted to. He told me I'd come out "with an attitude" - I hadn't, but I had politely asked him not to park there again - I mean, heaven forbid an actual female tries to assert a reasonable boundary.

He then tells me that not only can he park across my dropped kerb, he can even park ON my drive if he wants and there's nothing I can do to stop him. He told me that several times.

I stood my ground and gave him as good as I got but I was physically shaking when I walked in (I'm autistic and hate confrontation!!).

He was obnoxious, sneery, and aggressive from the start.

He was only quite a small bloke - I should have sent my DP out to ask him. He's an absolute mammoth of a man, I doubt the little gobshite would have copped the same shitty attitude with him!

I would never block someone in. Absolute entitlement of it.

I would definitely park across your own drive OP. That will mean that dickhead builder has to find somewhere else to park. He can block his own customer in. Fair play to you for standing your ground.

Yeah they don't I had similar and wasn't Interested unless they where violent or threatening in anyway

Just park your own car across the driveway

Problem sorted.

You've already asked him not to, he's ignored you and still doing it and verbally abused you?!
I'm not usually "that" person but I'd be putting a complaint in to his company.

I’m another one who thinks your best first point of contact is the neighbour he is working for and ask them to get him to stop. Tell them what he said about asking nicely and point out that he’s clearly doing it deliberately and has been abusive. I’m sure they won’t want to piss the neighbours off.

Not sure where you are, and there are different rules for some areas of London, but generally it isn’t illegal to park across a dropped kerb unless there is a car actually parked on the drive. The illegality of it refers to blocking access to the highway, not ingress from it. In some areas a white ‘H’ marking across the driveway signals that there’s no parking and the offending driver can be prosecuted. You say there is no marking on his van. Could you ask the neighbour which company he works for and then put in a complaint to them ?

Failing all this the only thing you can do is to keep pestering the council every single time it happens. Or either park across your own drive, or better still, block him in yourself and then have a couple of glasses of wine - oops, sorry over the limit !!

I get limited resources but it’s still shit .. like alright should I just wait for him to back his van into my car? Or if he’s asked to move again should I just wait for him to assault me?

I don’t think either of things will actually happen but you can see why victims of stalking or harassment don’t get taken seriously until it’s too late.

I’ve already addressed the neighbour thing. They have an attitude of not giving a shit. In fact I saw the van was now partially blocking the drive of their other next door neighbour. So they really don’t give a shit at all.

In situations like this I play dumb and incredibly nice but dim. I’d be constantly asking him politely to move his car and then laughing that, silly me, I didn’t need to go out now, or just move it forward two metres and then back. Or stand in their space and take a photo of my roof etc.

We have a narrow street where often you have to wait to allow someone to pass. Of course, some man always decides he has right of way and forces you to go all the way back. I stop my car, walk up to theirs, ask them just to give me a second and explain that I’m going to reverse back so they can pass. Sometimes I laugh and say, “I’m not very good with reversing so I’ll take it slow”. Nine times out of ten they tell me to forget it, they’ll reverse.
Yeah, because two of us can play silly beggars and I’m too old in the tooth to be bullied by a fucker like you.

This would make me feel vulnerable too. I think you need to speak to you neighbour about it. I would also maybe report the incident to your local community officers (not necessarily police) if you feel unsafe. It is uncalled for and frightening to have a man swear at you like that. Big hug!

Am liking your style 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻