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AIBU?

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Original poster

Which jobs would put you off dating someone?

392 replies

BobbyBiscuits · 21/05/2024 11:27

Of course, everyone has to do something, so this is light-hearted.

But which jobs would be red flags for you and you can't imagine going out with someone who does this?

Mine would be-

Tory MP/aide/minister- or anything to do with the Tory party
Scaffolder
Stripper
Porn star
PT/fitness instructor/gym owner
Nightclub owner/ manager

Interesting to hear yours!

OP posts:
chocolatecoveredpeanut · 21/05/2024 13:23

I once turned down the offer of dating a male stripper - well known group
He also then went into porn
Vlogger/instagrammer
Police
Traffic Warden
Any of the services
Estate agents
Travelling salesmen
Car dealership salesmen
Salesmen in general
Bin man (ours are horrible shouty and racist)
MP

Ie men who like the sound of their own voice, power and boastfulness.

lotsofpeoplenametheirswords · 21/05/2024 13:24

Any job where they had to wear a suit or office attire.

SpaghettiWithaYeti · 21/05/2024 13:24

MLMer, or someone in "sales"
Anyone whose profession is still laddish and sleazy (car sales, bankers etc)

Anyone working for a really unethical company

Anyone in the public eye (this does not appeal at all!)

chocolatecoveredpeanut · 21/05/2024 13:28

I've just wondered if there is a lesbian equivalent?
Maybe it's the same kind of personality traits across the board?

muddyford · 21/05/2024 13:30

The blokes that erected scaffolding for us were most of a local rugby team, so I don't agree with that one of yours, at least.

annoyance888 · 21/05/2024 13:32

Top

Conservative Party member

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 21/05/2024 13:35

Anything where they’re away a lot.
Anything in the sex industry.

It’s a tough one….. I’m open to most things I think. But I’d struggle with someone who was away a lot.

groyard · 21/05/2024 13:37

Interesting gynaecologist is coming up. Ive always thought it was an odd specialisation for straight men. Is the assumption that all male gynaecologists are pervs?

XenoBitch · 21/05/2024 13:44

I don't think any would put me off as long as the person was kind. Their hobbies would bother me more as that is a choice.

ISeriouslyDoubtIt · 21/05/2024 13:49

Anyone involved in the kind of diversity work that tries to allow trans women( ie men) to use women's loos, women's changing rooms, be involved in women's sports etc and/or who refers to women as "cis" women.

HelpMebeok · 21/05/2024 13:49

Butcher
police officer
traffic warden
bailiff

Chirawehaha · 21/05/2024 13:54

Ragingbull1 · 21/05/2024 13:13

Sad to see so many people say Police. My DH is a Police Officer, and he's the salt of the earth. He works his arse off, doing very long hours. He's seen things that no one should ever have to see, and that would traumatise most people, and yet he still soldiers on. I could list those things here, but quite honestly, they are so traumatic, that I think MN would have to delete my post.

He's been assaulted several times by members of the public. He often goes above and beyond, even when not on duty. He's broken up fights in pubs, and rescued someone who was trying to kill themselves, even though he wasn't on the clock.

He has no fear of walking into situations, that other people would run away from. He's saved many, many lives. We've been together for 16 years, and he's never given me any reason to suspect infidelity : if there's a works night out, he's always home by 9pm, because (in his words) he'd rather be home with me.

My Ex, on the other hand, had a very respectable job, and yet behind closed doors he assaulted me and he also cheated on me for the entirety of our 20 year marriage (not known by me at the time, obvs).

Myself, I was in the Police for about 5 years, and can honestly, hand on heart say, that everyone I met was lovely. And I never witnessed any cheating or misogyny. Not once in 5 years. And I was young, pretty and single back then - did not get chatted up once!!

Anyway, for me :

Binman
Sex worker
Gynaecologist
Undertaker

The British police have been consistently found to be systemically racist, sexist and homophobic. They admit it themselves: https://amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/jan/05/head-of-britains-police-chiefs-says-force-is-institutionally-racist-gavin-stephens

The fact that ‘everyone you met was lovely’ doesn’t change that.

Head of Britain’s police chiefs says force ‘institutionally racist’ | Police | The Guardian

Exclusive: Gavin Stephens becomes most senior serving officer to accept discrimination in policing operates at a ‘fundamental level’

https://amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/jan/05/head-of-britains-police-chiefs-says-force-is-institutionally-racist-gavin-stephens

Beezknees · 21/05/2024 13:58

Porn star
Politician
Chef (having worked with many found them all to be grumpy and bad tempered with alcohol issues)

Anything that involved working incredibly long hours/high pressured. I am not money focused and would rather have time with my partner than him earn well but be working most of the time.

CMZ2018 · 21/05/2024 14:01

Anyone who’s a professional benefits scrounger

Chirawehaha · 21/05/2024 14:03

LooneyLiberalSpaceWaster · 21/05/2024 13:18

Gynecologist
Psychologist or Counsellor
Any new age therapist
Any new age industry such as tree hugger, mentor, life coach
Poet, artist, writer, potter especially if half the working day involves holding up a bar.
Musician unless classical and simply just plays for a living.

I'd rather shack up with a brickie or a roofer, at least you know what you are getting. Can't tolerate wet, new age hippy types that maruad as women's best friend but secretly despise. Some are so brilliant at being 'new age' or MC and civilised so that their misogyny is not only hidden better but denied. And the virtue signalling and false pretense becomes a curated and carefully constructed persona that is not only their 'best selves' but better than you.

I've dated a gun runner, a drug dealer and an actuary involved in money laundering. All educated, all seemingly civilised and not in manual jobs. Took me a while to work out I'd rather be with an uncomplicated person doing an honest days work.

How would an actuary be involved in money laundering, out of interest? Or was he an actuary, who happened to be involved in money laundering on the side (unconnected with anything actuarial?)

Toomanysquishmallows · 21/05/2024 14:03

Totally petty , but anyone who works with drains !

Willywaitingforbreakfast · 21/05/2024 14:04

Unfortunately police which shouldn't be the case but the stories I heard (factual) I couldn't be with someone who MAY have took their power and degraded someone else.

Housing officer same as above, many aren't educated enough to deal with vunerable people.

Balliff just a scummy job, better to work in McDonald's then do this, at least fast food workers have morals

Traffic warden, why? Why would you even want to be one? Bad wages and there to tax the poor which they also are which is why they are a traffic warden!

Dog breeder, to many dogs I would love my dog to have puppies to see what they look like but to many dogs needing homes.

Butcher just because it's kind of creepy dealing with animal corpse

Funeral director although I have applied to be one, it is creepy imagine the sprits they hold onto.

GingerPirate · 21/05/2024 14:08

I can think about teacher or entertainer/public figure.

Willywaitingforbreakfast · 21/05/2024 14:09

There is more!

Porn star, obvious reasons.

Manager of a stripclub, they usually are pervs or degrade the women (I was a dancer once upon a time)

Rapper/drill artist although they wouldn't even get past getting my number an instance block! Yuk!

Anyone who does fraud or scams, never trust a thief.

Probably that's it! Anyone else is fair game

muggart · 21/05/2024 14:10

If planning children then anything that takes them away for long periods like a geologist. Or shift work with unsociable hours (full respect to people who can handle that though!).

Teacher, if showing signs of a superiority complex.

I'd also be suspicious of anyone trying to break into politics too. I don't trust people who make it their mission to convert people to their way of thinking. Seems a bit too power focused for my liking.

New age hippy stuff/ life coaching.

Porn industry work.

Toomanysquishmallows · 21/05/2024 14:10

Regarding trades , my partner used to be an electrician and he’s lovely.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 21/05/2024 14:13

Ventriloquist - I think they would be constantly putting words in my mouth.

larkstar · 21/05/2024 14:14

police
fire
builders
teachers (they have no life)

Toomuch44 · 21/05/2024 14:17

I don't eat meat, so as others have said abattoir/similar and to be honest I'd probably want to avoid a farmer who breeds for slaughter.

Sex industry, porn star, that sort of thing.

Other than that, if he was a decent person, no problem. Many that do jobs that are messy/dirty will either shower at work (where they have that option) or immediately on return home.

There are some odd things on here to choose. We've got scaffolding up at the moment, chaps arrived a couple of days early so we hadn't moved things out of way - they were so pleasant and it was no trouble to them.

Fink · 21/05/2024 14:27

I don't have a list of absolute no gos, but there's a lot of professions that would be off-putting and I'd take some persuading that the person who did them had a similar enough outlook on life to me for us to be compatible. I did previously date an accountant and I really couldn't stomach how he saw professional tax avoidance (through complicated loopholes rather than merely not volunteering to pay the maximum possible) as just a normal job and in no way morally repugnant. Same with lawyers: I briefly dated a barrister and in my mind there's a difference between someone who genuinely wants to help other people and someone making a lucrative career choice to defend rapists.

There's no job I'd mind in terms of smells, shifts, or perceived prestige, but I'm very picky about moral values.

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