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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours daughter

130 replies

Helplessbeth · 20/05/2024 13:31

Cut a long story short my two children made friends with a girl who's an only child across the street from us. Playing outside if I was gardening or cleaning the cars, last month my daughter asked if I could ask her mom to come over for a play date.
mom agreed.
all of them played in the playroom then went into the cinema room to watch Taylor swift eras tour, lovely day.

so a few more times the girl came and played in our garden even having a bbq with us (which her parents knew about)
Saturday just gone a mini fairground came to a local park I know her mom and dad work weekends so I offered to take her with us instead of spending it with grandparents.
they has rides, candy floss, toys you name it I treated my children and this girl exactly the same.

the child was so happy and when her mom knocked on our door the child even said it's been the best day ever.

today I was leaving to take the dog for a walk and her mom shouted at me to come over for a chat.
she told me I shouldn't be spending my husbands money (I'm a sahm) on her child as it makes her feel bad because both her and her husband work but don't have the spare funds.
this took me as a surprise and I said I'm sorry you felt this way and I wouldn't like her to feel that way.

my dog was pulling so I quickly left and she huffed back inside.
I want to go and speak to her again as it seemed so aggressive from her side. I must also add growing up I was also an only child who parents both worked so much and felt a little lonely. The child's mom doesn't know this but maybe it would help coming from also another child who grew up without siblings.

aibu to take her daughter to the fair and buy whatever she wanted? I never even asked for any money. I just wanted them all to have a good day.

OP posts:
Helengreggregson · 24/05/2024 22:12

I have an only child (not by choice) and I think it was very kind of you to think of the child and bring her out for the day. Even if she is stressed out with money it’s a rude and unreasonable reaction and especially the snide remarks about “husband’s money”. Some people are just strange I suppose.

Mnk711 · 24/05/2024 22:18

FranticHare · 20/05/2024 17:21

If her daughter went home saying "I've had the best day ever", and her parents are already feeling guilty for working full time and not spending time with their daughter, then I can understand her upset.

Its not right she took it out on you, but I can understand the guilt.

As parents (and I think especially mothers) we have so much judgement - if we work full time, we're neglecting our kids. If we don't work, we're setting our kids a bad example and not displaying a good work ethic, or not contributing to society. You cant win, and she maybe has had a few snarky comments recently.

This 100%. Understand why you'd be annoyed with her OP but try to be empathetic and let it go. Don't offer to do anything involving any significant amounts of money again with the little girl. Thank you for being kind to her.

DayDreamAllDay · 25/05/2024 00:50

I would feel unhappy and uncomfortable with the mum’s reaction. The comment that you are spending your husband’s money is off too. It seems to me that the mum has come across as weird, judgmental and aggressive. I would be done with it and encourage your kids to find friendship elsewhere.

Yournevertooldtolovehamsters · 25/05/2024 11:51

Such a shame your good deed was received so negatively by your neighbours daughters mum. Sadly I suspect all she's done is ruin any further 'fun' days out her daughter could of have because of her attitude. I just feel saddened about the whole story. Stay true to yourself, you sound like a genuinely caring person

Lola2321 · 27/05/2024 12:40

Everyone saying she may feel bad about someone else treating her daughter. What did she think would happen when she accepted the offer of her daughter going to the fair? For her daughter to watch her friends having fun and her daughter missing out?!

I’m an only child and now have two children and agree it’s lonely. However I would never say that to someone who only have one child for so many reasons, most which make the mum of the only child feel so bad

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