Balls constantly coming into my garden and damaging plants -AIBU?

[ScaleInsectGoo]

I know I'll probably be called a joy killing unreasonable cow but here goes.

We have smallish gardens on my street - approx 8m wide and 10m long. I like gardening and I like to grow plants for food and fun.

My neighbour has two sons now aged 13 and 17. They kick various shaped balls against the back wall of their house daily, really really hard, so that balls come over into my garden (rebounding off the wall) several times a day. They are going fast and when they hit plants they do damage. The boundary is a 6 ft fence and shrubs on their side that grow up to about 10-12 ft.

This has been a regular summer occurrence for years and while the kids were younger I recognised that they couldn't do it elsewhere and also they didn't kick as hard so it was less often and less hard.
But AIBU to think that now they are old enough to go to the local park independently where there is loads of space and football nets and they can kick as hard as they like without causing damage to anyone's garden, they should do that instead?
Also AIBU to think that they're old enough to understand that in their garden they need to kick less hard since the balls are coming over so often?

I'm not someone who expects to not know they're near other people. I live in a small property with the neighbours around and I expect and accept noise, barbecues, trampolines etc etc. I just don't want my garden to be damaged by someone else's careless use of their own. AIBU?

YANBU. Can you talk to the parents?

YANBU

My neighbours also don’t like my son kicking his football about. We accommodate where we can but at the end of the day it’s our garden and our fence. It’s a hill I would actually die on.

I'm a complete wuss. If consensus is that I'm not a miserable unreasonable git I may try talking to them.

Talk to th parents.
they should be mortified and it should stop immediatel.

if it doesn’t stick a knife in the balls and /or don’t return them.
little shits.

and I say that as someone with kids.
it’s not okay.

@Sometimeswinning does his ball go over into their garden daily? I don't care at all about them playing ball as long as they do in such a way as to not encroach on my garden every day and damage my plants

Do you throw balls back, do they come ad get them or do you damage the?

Previous years I have always chucked them back over. This year I've been leaving them a few days to try to send a somewhat cowardly message and then throwing them back over. I wouldn't and have never damaged them.

If your son was damaging their property then you should pay to repair it.

Stop sending them back . When they ask for them back, explain the problem and say that if it happens more than once a week you will keep the ball.

Talk to the parents...I have a patient in her late 80s who struggled with this. @Sometimeswinning are you aware how much your son balls are effecting your neighbour s. In my patients case she struggles to get into the garden and on sitting at her garden table in the garden one ball almost knocked her out and now she wont use her garden and looks longing out at it when I visit....you should have see her look at her garden. She struggles to walk and worried about falling without the fear of a ball hitting her head. It's heart breaking.

I don't think kicking a ball around in your own garden is a problem. If they kept kicking the ball into your neighbours garden or continually kicking a ball against an adjoining fence, then that's pretty anti social.

It's got nothing to do with being a wuss.

You're not going to go round and square up to them are you? 🤣

Just have a word with the parents or the kids, and show them photos of any damage they're doing.

Yes, I think I'll do that. When it gets to the point that they have no balls left that probably says more than I can by going round to complain.

Your neighbours don’t care about your son kicking his football about in your garden. You don’t accommodate where you can you CF; you parent your son until he learns not to kick the ball into other people’s gardens. It’s not ‘your garden’ if his activity is encroaching on their garden.

YABVU.

Is your son regularly kicking his ball over the fence into your neighbours' garden though, and causing damage? If he isn't, it's not the same situation at all.

If he is indeed constantly kicking his ball into othrr people's gardens, though, you're allowing him to be an antisocial little shite and need to sort yourself out.

Keep the balls until they ask for them, then tell them the problem.

@SherlockHomies I think you underestimate my utter hatred of any kind of potential conflict. Even going to speak politely to them (which I obviously would) would have me shaking and bright red. It's very tiresome

I'd want to know if my neighbour had a very valid complaint like you did. I think you should try and talk to them, take photos of the damage and record how many times it happens. Also don't throw balls back until someone comes and apologises/asks for them? Could be that the parents don't know

Don’t give the balls back.

I’d try talking to them, but the thing about problem neighbour behaviour is that they know what they are doing. So the response from them is likely to be unreasonable.
Ive been through it myself.

Thank you all of you. I feel confident now that I'm not being an arsehole so I will put the balls in a safe spot out of the way and wait.

But I do care about my son having a kick around. I accommodate where I can and I’m happy with that you CF.

He’s not kicking it into their garden they haven’t got a high enough fence to stop the ball going into their garden. Their enjoyment of their garden does not trump my families. Not sure why you would think it does!

Does your accommodation extend to not damaging your neighbours plant?

@Sometimeswinning

how old is your DS?

is his ball going into the neighbours gardens?